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processing diagnosis

Zakybi

Hi,

So I am not actually sure what I am looking for but I guess a bit of reassurance that what am feeling is normal.

I opted for a private diagnosis, I  had my initial assessment on Friday,  on the way to the appointment I was very anxious but during the appointment I was okay, the conclusion I had quite a few autistic traits and if a proceed to a  full diagnosis mostly on the spectrum.

Even though it was what I was hoping for, I finally have an answer to why I am the way I am, and that my struggles are real and normal for an autistic person.

I should be happy but am not (I was recovering from a burn out and doing much better) but I am starting to feeling down again, I guess from the realisation I am not gonna snap out of it maybe, not quite sure, but since that appointment feeling alittle lost, When I did not think it would effect me,

Parents

  • Since I was told I started really positively.

    I was very grateful for my of a Super Power which means I can rationalise pretty well everything to a point of reason and logic. I've not met an NT who can get near me in this regard, so I know I will always function in the top few percent of people and never have many of the worries that other people may have.

    Then you realise what you are missing. And then you realise that you don't know what you might be missing.... and this is heartbreaking and very distressing.

    I know I am missing empathy. I have many points which prove it. But what do I feel when my 18 month old falls over and bangs his head? I'm distressed that he might have done himself harm and there may be a consequence to his action which could affect his life. But do I feel sympathy? I don't know. If I am honest I doubt it. and then I am distressed that I don't 'love' my son. But I must! Surely! I would do anything for him! But how do I know? How the heck do I find the answer? My Super Power for reason and logic defeats me. It's cruel.

Reply

  • Since I was told I started really positively.

    I was very grateful for my of a Super Power which means I can rationalise pretty well everything to a point of reason and logic. I've not met an NT who can get near me in this regard, so I know I will always function in the top few percent of people and never have many of the worries that other people may have.

    Then you realise what you are missing. And then you realise that you don't know what you might be missing.... and this is heartbreaking and very distressing.

    I know I am missing empathy. I have many points which prove it. But what do I feel when my 18 month old falls over and bangs his head? I'm distressed that he might have done himself harm and there may be a consequence to his action which could affect his life. But do I feel sympathy? I don't know. If I am honest I doubt it. and then I am distressed that I don't 'love' my son. But I must! Surely! I would do anything for him! But how do I know? How the heck do I find the answer? My Super Power for reason and logic defeats me. It's cruel.

Children
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