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My partner shows no affection towards me

Rottie girl

Ive been with my partner for 3 years. Slowly  he has distanced himself from me affectionately. He no longer cuddles kisses or puts his arms around me.  Sexual encounters he shows no love or emotion just the need to do it. He has been diagnosed aspergers  so how he is all falls into place.  I support him but i get nothing back in return. I love him but  i feel more his carer than his partner so my feelings for him are changing as he is so distant. I dont want to end the relationship.  Do i continue as we are knowing it is how the condition affects him and accept the feeling of no love towards me? 

Parents

  • Hello yes, I can relate to this. After 35 years of marriage to an autistic husband, I’ve found it to be the most emotionally damaging, frustrating and extremely lonely existence. After 15 years of marriage my husband informed me that as we were having no more children, sex wasn’t required and since then we’ve slept in separate rooms. However, sometimes love is shown in other ways. The biggest surprise I had is when I got Cancer, not once but twice. I had two serious operations that have left me weak and requiring help. On discharge from hospital I was incontinent, he lifted me out of bed, put me on the toilet and in the shower and cleaned the rotten smell of *** off me. I never ever expected him to do that. Our roles have now reversed, he takes care of me, washes me., dresses me. I’ve learnt a lot from autism  and I’m still learning. If I’d have left, my life would have been a lot different. My husband is still autistic, so are my children and grandchildren. You have to learn to live with difference. If you want heart and flowers with fifty shades of grey, then look for a neurotypical guy. Life is what you make it, it’s not always a box of chocolates, sometimes it’s a great big bag of ***. At the moment it’s me that’s providing it. Educate yourself, either accept the difference or walk. I’ve walked more than a mile in your shoes, so no judgement from me either way. Good luck girl

Reply

  • Hello yes, I can relate to this. After 35 years of marriage to an autistic husband, I’ve found it to be the most emotionally damaging, frustrating and extremely lonely existence. After 15 years of marriage my husband informed me that as we were having no more children, sex wasn’t required and since then we’ve slept in separate rooms. However, sometimes love is shown in other ways. The biggest surprise I had is when I got Cancer, not once but twice. I had two serious operations that have left me weak and requiring help. On discharge from hospital I was incontinent, he lifted me out of bed, put me on the toilet and in the shower and cleaned the rotten smell of *** off me. I never ever expected him to do that. Our roles have now reversed, he takes care of me, washes me., dresses me. I’ve learnt a lot from autism  and I’m still learning. If I’d have left, my life would have been a lot different. My husband is still autistic, so are my children and grandchildren. You have to learn to live with difference. If you want heart and flowers with fifty shades of grey, then look for a neurotypical guy. Life is what you make it, it’s not always a box of chocolates, sometimes it’s a great big bag of ***. At the moment it’s me that’s providing it. Educate yourself, either accept the difference or walk. I’ve walked more than a mile in your shoes, so no judgement from me either way. Good luck girl

Children