Medications?

I take venlefaxine and the smallest possible dose of quetiapine an hour before bedtime. It does seem to work in that the venlefaxine is the best antidepressant I’ve tried - it really works for me but it stopped me sleeping, the quetiapine at bedtime stops that being a problem.

I know what you mean about life. I too feel that if I could live an appropriate (very peaceful, no people!) lifestyle I wouldnt need them. Sigh! I’m trying to think of a way to make that happen without winning the lottery. 

Thanks zomted, what dose of quetapine do you manage? Had venlefaxine too and that was more vicious than the fluoxetine for me. if you do think of a way to make that lifestyle change happen, let me know and probably everyone else on the forum too. 

Thanks zomted, what dose of quetapine do you manage? Had venlefaxine too and that was more vicious than the fluoxetine for me. if you do think of a way to make that lifestyle change happen, let me know and probably everyone else on the forum too. 

Thanks Zomted, I tried 12 mg or it might have been 12.5 if 25 mg is the lowest, that was the dose that kept me in bed for hours and then half of that just me cry all the time. 

I understand what you say about if knowing what is going on with yourself then maybe that can go some way to help manage, I have been having what feels like flash seconds of revelation which does seem to help some ways and I think it is what you are saying about blaming yourself for everything, thank you

What a truly inspiring post BlueRay, thank you...that has really helped as I have been feeling very guilty about wanting to do exactly that, the just closing myself of from everything I feel I need to and taking it from there.

I have had that idea for years of the campervan and are now and have been actually exploring it the past 2 weeks as a reality motivated by the fact I find myself in another failed move of living in a conventional house for the 17th time... I just don't think I can take any more of that...I have been a lover of nature too for years, I used to spend weeks over the summer period walking, climbing and camping in the mountains of Scotland...and loved walking in winter..then I got a physical illness and lost that ability, that was totally devastating for me, now I walk in the woods and still camp too but no climbing. The tent has become too difficult and a friend (my only friend) converted their van a few years ago and since that time I've wanted my own.

Have you read lord Byron's poem Childe Harolds Pilgrimage? Or rather the verse from it 'There is a pleasure in the pathless woods'...I recite that to myself frequently to try to calm me.

Yeah, that's me. When I was little, I made our shed into my little house. I was always doing this, making little homes. So I thought the van idea would be perfect for me, and there are tons of great places to stay, such as on the grounds of Buddhist centres etc. 

I love the idea of the van home, that’s a fab idea. Nature and home are my two favourite things too.

25mg, think that’s the smallest size pill. Yep, for me ven has some side effects but was better than feeling how I was feeling. This all started before diagnosis for me though. Wandering if now I know what’s going on there might be other ways to manage the depression/anxiety as I’m no longer blaming myself for everything like I was before.

Lifestyle change: think it depends for me on coming up with a way to earn a living self employed, while living in the middle of nowhere. No ideas yet but am working on it... 

I made it happen. As soon as I got my diagnosis, my life began to change. I simply stopped communicating with people. Including emails and social media etc. It was amazing. It’s been the best two years of my life. And now, from that, I’m rebuilding my life from the ground up, based around my needs, likes and preferences, and so far so good :) 

I’m only in the early stages, and I’m getting help, including with medication. I’ve asked for Ritalin, as that’s the best thing I’ve found for me just now. And I’ve got support workers.  But I made the decision, that now I know who I am, I will never compromise myself or my needs, ever again. I don’t need to now. My life prior to diagnosis was all about finding out who I was. When I found out, with the diagnosis, it became all about living. And this is the first time I’ve lived as me, so of course I’m going to need help with that. So I became open to help, I took whatever I was given, with gratitude, and finally, after 51 years, I now have all the help I need. 

I don’t see me taking Ritalin long term, I will replace that with meditation and a regular daily routine etc, but Ritalin will help to get me there. I’m taking it baby step by baby step, but since I learned how to take baby steps (that took me over a year to learn), I’m enjoying the journey. I’ve got a destination, but I’ve learned, from my period of self imposed isolation, that if you’re happy today, you’ll be happy tomorrow. So I’m enjoying the journey, with masses of gratitude, for this opportunity to start again, knowing who I am, and I know that if I keep putting one foot in front of the other, one day I’ll get there :) 

It’s not the ‘end goal’ or anything, but one thing I’m working towards is having my own sprinter van or similar, and getting it converted into my very own, luxury, made for me, tiny home on wheels. And I’ll live a lot of my time in that, immersed in nature, my medicine. It will help to get me out in nature, because what I’ve learned these past couple of years. Is that although I love being outdoors, I don’t actually love anything more than just being at home, just me, myself and I! Lol! So I had to find a stress free way of getting me to spend more time outdoors, and I think this will be a perfect fit! 

But really, I’m just enjoying rebuilding my life, baby step by baby step ~ it’s life in the slow slow lane but I like it. It suits me.