Do I Pretend?

Is it possible that, since being diagnosed a few years ago, I try to a "act the part" - so to speak. If I am doing this it's only on a subconscious level, but could I have - without even realising - thought OK, they want me to be autistic? Then I'll be autistic. Is that something that people do?

Or is it a lot more likely that I am just noticing things more now. That definitely seems more likely but I am worried that I am sort of pretending. 

If it is real, it has got a lot worse since the diagnosis. But then again that could be because I'm noticing it now as well. If it's worse, should I tell someone? 

Parents
  • I think it’s more likely that you’ve given yourself permission to stop putting an enormous effort in to “conform” as Martian Tom said. Something I can certainly relate to.

    Yes you’ll be noticing it more too, by the same mechanism that works when you get a new car and suddenly you notice the same model and colour everywhere.

    Finally, in a limited way, I sometimes wonder if I “explore” autistic behaviours like stimmimg.

Reply
  • I think it’s more likely that you’ve given yourself permission to stop putting an enormous effort in to “conform” as Martian Tom said. Something I can certainly relate to.

    Yes you’ll be noticing it more too, by the same mechanism that works when you get a new car and suddenly you notice the same model and colour everywhere.

    Finally, in a limited way, I sometimes wonder if I “explore” autistic behaviours like stimmimg.

Children
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