Can alexithymia get worse?

After decades of therapists noting "You're very much in your head aren't you?" and having to interrupt my logical analysis of something with "No, I asked how you *feel* about it.", I've realised that alexithymia could be written on the inside of my eyelids.

For decades I struggled with depression, which I'm managing so, so much better now I have the explanatory framework of autism, and despite also having Seasonal Affective Disorder I'm actually doing OK for the grey end of January.

However, my current (last month, last quarter, can't exactly remember) mood is best described as "OK, content, no worries, chilled, meh" and I have a distinct lack of joy, excitement, anticipation that I remember having vague glimpses of during my younger years. Of course, many of the things that provoked excitement were things that I was encountering for the first time (new cars, motorbikes, girlfriends, different sorts of clouds, things to photograph, radio equipment, mathematical concepts, scientific theories, new telescopes). So I can't expect "new exciting things" to go on forever.

I'm rambling now - any thoughts?

Parents
  • So I can't expect "new exciting things" to go on forever.

    Depends on your imagination and amount of money you have available.

    I think it's pefectly feasible. Have you flown a helicopter? Done some stunt driving? Swimming with sharks without a cage?

  • Haha yes I've kinda thought through that and I do have a bucket list of implausible and probably un-achievable things! Unfortunately my budget is quite limited nowadays having adjusted my work as part of a downsizing strategy and then forgetting to downsize Confounded

  • Then it's just a case of ticking them off - I've done many strange things in my life and I still have loads of things I want to do.

    BTW - I've done the things I suggested. I done aerobatic flying lessons, raced a Ferarri 360, taxied a Lancaster, walked on the roof of a cathedral, abseiled off a 200' cliff, organised a motor show, had whip-cracking lessons, machine-gun target practice, done loads of big roller-coasters - the world is your oyster.

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  • Then it's just a case of ticking them off - I've done many strange things in my life and I still have loads of things I want to do.

    BTW - I've done the things I suggested. I done aerobatic flying lessons, raced a Ferarri 360, taxied a Lancaster, walked on the roof of a cathedral, abseiled off a 200' cliff, organised a motor show, had whip-cracking lessons, machine-gun target practice, done loads of big roller-coasters - the world is your oyster.

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