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Empty nest & loving it

I'm done with Christmas Cards

Anyone else with ASD rediscovering the contentedness of living as a couple again after the kids have left?

I love my kids but after being a parent for over a quarter century this next phase of life is going down just fine with me at the moment!

Pease and quiet & being able to watch TV together without someone talking over it & triggering verbal processing stress is just one of the blessings.

  • in reply to I'm done with Christmas Cards

    Yes, several university and college drop outs plus current withdrawal, reclusiveness and dependency on benefits.  I see parents lamenting empty nest syndrome and reflect on how lucky they are.  

  • in reply to Jenny Butterfly

    Oh my, I feel for you if you think they've gone and either don't or come back.

  • I wish we could arrive at that point.  So many false starts amidst a general "failure to launch".  We didn't recognise the signs of our own autism, let alone theirs.  So now there remains a seemingly massive amount of work still to he done.  :(

  • in reply to NAS39248

    We're lucky to be in a crazy-high cost area - when we downsize, we can buy the same property for 1/4 the price of around here.

  • in reply to Plastic

    I would love to be in a position to do this for my children but financially I can't see it ever being possible! Don't get me wrong they all have a significant sum put away for them in the future (thanks dad!) but for me to do anything is impossible which really sucks. We will just have to see how things pan out, your daughter is very lucky, you are right no-one needs stress!

  • in reply to NAS39248

    The idea is that if life doesn't work out for her, there's a solid fall-back postion. It's to remove stress from her life because nobody needs stress..

  • in reply to Plastic

    What a good idea! 

  • in reply to NAS39248

    We've already said that when we downsize and move, she's welcome to come too and we'll build a small bungalow in the garden for her.

    That way, when we croak, she has a rental property to let within walking distance.

  • in reply to Plastic

    My dad organised doing this for my nan ages ago at the time you had to make sure large amounts or property were signed over at least ten years prior to death or you still got taxed! Not sure about now though as that was 20 years ago! 

    At the moment mine would just get alot of bills so think I will keep them! 

  • in reply to Kitsune

    We're very practical about it all - our daughter will get everything we own when we die - so surely we should be off-loading everything we can to her before then to avoid any tax liability.

  • in reply to Kitsune

    Not sure mine will ever leave! ( one has at 22) but since the others are 8,6 and 1 think I will be into my 70's by time they do! 

  • Well my oldest is 21 but I expect she’ll be at home til at least her mid 30’s and my younger children are 4 and 1 so no such luck yet! Maybe in another 30 or so years time!

    Hope you’re enjoying your well deserved peace and quiet Slight smile

  • in reply to I'm done with Christmas Cards

    And mine are not even teenagers yet (but soon)

  • in reply to Plastic

    Same here tbh - but it's 99% as good as :-)

  • Nearly - she's at uni.