Social Skills - What do you think?

One thing my assessor said was that I don't really do 2 way conversation.

... my assessor said this to me after I asked him why he started talking about an experience he had had in a place I just mentioned. I said I hate it when that happens! He said, that’s because you’re autistic and don’t do two way conversations! 

I don’t! I hate them. The only thing I really want to do with nt’s, is line them up like I would my teddies, and talk to them, without them answering back. Unless we’re duscussing one of my special interests and they have something interesting to say, then I’ll listen. But otherwise, I’m just not interested. It’s not in my make up so why would I want to learn how to do it? 

I’ve learned enough to not only get by, but to exceed, but at the cost of my health and well being and sanity. So it’s not something I’m interested in any more.

I share all your ways of communication and now I understand them I don’t see them as a problem at all. It depends on what you want. Do you want to learn to be more successful at social interactions with people you have little to no interest in and is the achievement of such a goal worth all the effort to you? If it is, go for it. It’s possible to learn anything we put our heart and soul into. I doubt you’de have much time left for much else in your life though. It would pretty much be a full time job learning how to interact like others when it goes against your nature but if your reason for doing it is big enough, it will be with the effort and I’m sure you would achieve it. 

I love, on the other hand, the conversations and interactions I have with my autistic friends. They’re so random and we don’t tend to do that two way thing. We talk over each other and interrupt each other, but none of us bats an eye at this, because this is just how we do it. I’ve even started to be able to read their body language! Ok, I have only learned one thing with one person but it’s like it came naturally. And far from exhausting me it made me feel really happy, energised and proud of myself.

So for me, it’s a no brainer. I make sure that the time I do spend with people, is largely with autistic people.  

One thing my assessor said was that I don't really do 2 way conversation.

... my assessor said this to me after I asked him why he started talking about an experience he had had in a place I just mentioned. I said I hate it when that happens! He said, that’s because you’re autistic and don’t do two way conversations! 

I don’t! I hate them. The only thing I really want to do with nt’s, is line them up like I would my teddies, and talk to them, without them answering back. Unless we’re duscussing one of my special interests and they have something interesting to say, then I’ll listen. But otherwise, I’m just not interested. It’s not in my make up so why would I want to learn how to do it? 

I’ve learned enough to not only get by, but to exceed, but at the cost of my health and well being and sanity. So it’s not something I’m interested in any more.

I share all your ways of communication and now I understand them I don’t see them as a problem at all. It depends on what you want. Do you want to learn to be more successful at social interactions with people you have little to no interest in and is the achievement of such a goal worth all the effort to you? If it is, go for it. It’s possible to learn anything we put our heart and soul into. I doubt you’de have much time left for much else in your life though. It would pretty much be a full time job learning how to interact like others when it goes against your nature but if your reason for doing it is big enough, it will be with the effort and I’m sure you would achieve it. 

I love, on the other hand, the conversations and interactions I have with my autistic friends. They’re so random and we don’t tend to do that two way thing. We talk over each other and interrupt each other, but none of us bats an eye at this, because this is just how we do it. I’ve even started to be able to read their body language! Ok, I have only learned one thing with one person but it’s like it came naturally. And far from exhausting me it made me feel really happy, energised and proud of myself.

So for me, it’s a no brainer. I make sure that the time I do spend with people, is largely with autistic people.  

I laughed so hard at the teddy scenario my stomach hurts. But yes that's exactly it. I don't want people to talk back unless it's about something I'm interested in.

I don't completely hate all social situations though. I like doing things like playing games and watching films. I just get really annoyed when people talk through them. But then I get called antisocial. I think talking through a game is antisocial but there we go.

I'm not entirely sure what I want. I think I was interested to see what people think really. I don't want to become completely isolated from other people. I only socialise occasionally, it's not regular but I do feel low if I avoid people altogether. But then I worry that people are just getting really irritated with me all the time.

Sometimes I wonder if I am just socialising with the wrong people but I do get on with them, I just find situations difficult. The problem is, when it goes well I feel better for socialising. When it doesn't go well I feel rubbish.

I don't have any autistic friends to make a comparison with.