I have a very unhappy other half who has requested that I go to the doctors today to get some medication to make sure that I don't "ruin Christmas" (I had a panic attack/meltdown at the weekend).
Can anyone recommend anything that will help?
thank you
Ellie
Maybe you could ask him to Google 'Medication to cure autism' so that he could write it on a note for you to take with you.
Has it occurred to him, I wonder, that he's ruining Christmas? For you?
I did joke a while back if he wanted me to go and get a pill for autism. "Do they do them?" was his reply.
I need something to make me passive so I don't cause any bother
And we're supposed to be the ones who 'lack empathy.' 
I guess these forums will serve as a good 'smoking room' on Christmas Day.
That's a thought. Maybe you could score something suitably 'mellowing'?
It is a choice to stay. It is also a choice to be used.
But it is difficult to leave and start all over.
That being said, I'd go talk to the GP about how to get out of the situation.
As a woman there are more options than as a man.
You just need to find them.
Having a job (or three) just makes things much more possible.
It appears he has absolutely no interest in what she thinks or how she feels, he wants her to function purely without a mind.
she recently wrote how he now wanted her to get yet another job, making four in total.
He has no intention of working and most likely just needs her income and ability to serve to meet his needs.
Thank you for your helpful suggestions but having read the many posts Ellie has put here over eighteen months he has no ability to care about her full stop.
What I see here in her post is her asking and reaching out for help. She has asked before and although I and others may not have the answers for her, then I am sure asking is her only option right now.
It appears she has taken the first big step to getting help.
It must have been the hardest thing ever to have to ask and then tell of the life she has endured.
In this day and age there is always an option. You do need to find the right channels though. But options there are.
The only not available option is changing into Miss Perfect with meds.
My OH doesn't tell me to go on meds to change myself. The most he says is, if you think it would help you then give it a try.
I do understand your OH and not wanting to spoil Christmas. Those days are awful for me too. What he could do is talk to you about how to relieve your stress, i.e. maybe he could help you.
And alcohol doesn't solve the problem either. Neither do drugs, etc.
yes you are right.
Having followed and read the many posts Ellie has written I can see she is stuck without much option than to just keep placating.
If you have any constructive advice then please share it with her or if needs be on here, I know you all care as do I. I think this has reached a point where placating is no longer an option for her. Unless she does as he demands and stops causing him unwanted issues she would need to stop having a reasoning mind.
Thank you windscale and all, please understand this really is at tipping point.
why else ask for such information knowing the consequences means no mind, inability to have self volition.
Sadly it appears that is all he wants, judging by previous threads and comments Ellie has posted in the past. he is totally unwilling to even stop to think about her welfare, His needs are paramount.
And sadly it isn’t easy to walk away from such a man it really isn’t.
She needs constructive help and support which is why I think she started this thread.
The ability to come across as high functioning is great, always ready to step in and give her support. Well it is her time to be supported as best we can given the difficult circumstances.
Thank you for the suggestions. I have forwarded the names to my OH to look into. Its getting the balance right of retaining function but getting rid of the symptoms. I can't be turned into a zombie as it might upset the Christmas guests... conversely... a medication not strong enough might equally cause a challenge
Well, I took Sertraline, Respiridone and the most awful thing called Sodium Valproate. All of it worked but the side effects made me stop. Others are just taking something to ease the anxiety like Valium.
Honestly though, I think you need to double check what you want out of this relationship.
I see Ellie posted a reply while I was typing.
Multi agency support. Good.
As I said it is ok reaching out for support, but knowing how the system works is paramount, she needs to have real answers if anyone has information from experiencing this kind of situation.
I am sure if they request a PM, she will contact them, or PM her.
She has helped and supported so many on here over eighteen months of being here, it is time she got support from us in any way we can.
I know how hard it is to request help. It goes against how I feel.
I just keep going regardless of my own self, a life time of just doing for others and accepting I am only here to do for others, keep quite, do what’s needed and exist.
Take care Ellie.
Sorry plastic my comments were not me having a go at you or anyone, just needed to highlight the severity of this situation.
We are all supportive of each other, we do what we can,
I am hoping that someone who has dealt with this has real information that can help Ellie move forward,
It is ok researching such things but the reality isn’t always as good as it portrays to be.
How serious do the various bodies take a complaint, to actually go forward and admit you are in such a relationship is hard enough, but to get real help and support knowing it is safe and will give protection is important.
The GP is also aware of the situation as been contacted by outside agencies.
Shall I just let the good man speak and recommend something to keep me quiet so I don't ruin his Christmas.... and see how that is responded to???? But it seems cruel to put the GP under such pressure.
It may help... from IAPT support accessed I currently have high levels of anxiety but am a low risk of suicide at the moment.
Cocaine it is then. Not a joke either.
The fact he insists on going in with you shows he does not want you to be able to tell them what is going on. He must control and dictate in every way,
You are obviously fearful of going against him as in some of your previous threads you told us you were in a physically ,mentally obusive relationship.
His total disregard for how you feel is obvious,,
You need help and support and with that to get away from him or have him removed away from you, a restraining order which if he breaks it in any way will mean him being locked up...
I am sure someone on here will have answers that come from experience ,
The system can work to protect, but working the system with no prior knowledge is so difficult, very scary as one false move and he will find out and violence will result.
Thank you. Yes this is a serious question from a serious request from my OH.
He has even said that he is coming into the consultation with me.
I AM NOT JOKING!
So, anyone recommend any anti-anxiety medication, tranquilizers, sedatives etc that might help - they need to mean that stress is reduced, i am made passive and a zero chance of meltdowns occurring. However they must allow me still to function and not appear "drugged up".
just realised cocaine is very expensive so I doubt he will want to spend that much on you?
He obviously doesn’t think your worth anything!
However he does still need the money you earn and your ability to function in a mechanical way.
I think he needs reminding you are in fact human.
this is not a joke and his inability to even consider you need help is beyond reproach. He looks to nullify your ability to make valid decisions by using drugs, that is total control by him. All so that you just continue providing whilst not actually existing in a mindful way.
He needs locking away .
I see no one is seeing this as serious?
The mere fact your OH no longer wants you to be you and to just do as he orders is very serious.
cocaine might work. It allows enough physical ability whilst rendering the victim dependent on the enslaver.
Not sure the NHS prescribe this, however methadone can be prescribed once the victim is hooked on cocaine.
