I have a very unhappy other half who has requested that I go to the doctors today to get some medication to make sure that I don't "ruin Christmas" (I had a panic attack/meltdown at the weekend).
Can anyone recommend anything that will help?
thank you
Ellie
Maybe you could ask him to Google 'Medication to cure autism' so that he could write it on a note for you to take with you.
Has it occurred to him, I wonder, that he's ruining Christmas? For you?
I did joke a while back if he wanted me to go and get a pill for autism. "Do they do them?" was his reply.
I need something to make me passive so I don't cause any bother
And we're supposed to be the ones who 'lack empathy.' 
I guess these forums will serve as a good 'smoking room' on Christmas Day.
That's a thought. Maybe you could score something suitably 'mellowing'?
Done. Now medicated....
I've tried beta blockers - they turned my mind into a fog so I couldn't remember anything I was doing - really dangerous - I felt very unsafe doing anything
Perhaps as Martian Tom stated:
I suppose it's the old 'what works for some won't work for others' thing.
Or even possibly the dose was to high for you given the mind fog and the short term memory problems.
I had a little difficulty with them at first, as when talking I heard my voice in place of my thoughts, and my thoughts in place of my words ~ which was fascinating.
The only real problem about them was they made me more susceptible to slipping into seizure states ~ as over the years I have learnt to stall or hold them a bit and not go full on blam out of body fantastic into the white and geometric spectrum sparkles, scintillations, orbs and all that. I mean it is all very beautiful and harmonies of angels ~ but the hangovers afterwards are hellish and brutal.
But hey ho!
I've tried beta blockers - they turned my mind into a fog so I couldn't remember anything I was doing - really dangerous - I felt very unsafe doing anything.
I tried Propranolol once, but they didn't seem to make much difference. I suppose it's the old 'what works for some won't work for others' thing. But I'd certainly recommend those over the usual fixes like a-ds or valium.
So, anyone recommend any anti-anxiety medication, tranquilizers, sedatives etc that might help - they need to mean that stress is reduced, i am made passive and a zero chance of meltdowns occurring. However they must allow me still to function and not appear "drugged up".
Propranolol or 'Beta Blockers' ~ blocks adrenalin receptors stops stress:
https://www.healthline.com/health/propranolol-oral-tablet#about
Sounds like this man is long overdue for an extended dose of fending for himself. Read into that whatever you wish. This is not a relationship in the true sense of the word - unless you qualify that with 'exploitative'. Ellie isn't being respected in any sense - except for her income-earning potential.
Your partner sounds like my control freak of a boyfriend! Thankfully he is not so bad these days
As for tranquilliser low dose vallium or propranolol (not sure spelt correctly)
Personally I would tell him he has the problem and to stick it where the sun doesn't shine!!!
What if choice isn’t an option?
she has wrote about physical abuse.
I am sure she has started the difficult road to getting help and support.
Life isn’t always easy .
thank you for continuing to help.
I do not speak for Ellie and I may well be wrong in a lot of what I have said, but we both joined eighteen months ago and if she asks for help then I assume she is hiding a great deal whilst doing so.
She may well tell me to butt out, that’s fine.
But in previous threads she asked and they descended into jokes and banter,
Just mindful that this particular post is recognised as being Serious and treated as such.
I am also sure many have PM’d her with advice or just to offer support.
Thank you.
It is a choice to stay. It is also a choice to be used.
But it is difficult to leave and start all over.
That being said, I'd go talk to the GP about how to get out of the situation.
As a woman there are more options than as a man.
You just need to find them.
Having a job (or three) just makes things much more possible.
It appears he has absolutely no interest in what she thinks or how she feels, he wants her to function purely without a mind.
she recently wrote how he now wanted her to get yet another job, making four in total.
He has no intention of working and most likely just needs her income and ability to serve to meet his needs.
Thank you for your helpful suggestions but having read the many posts Ellie has put here over eighteen months he has no ability to care about her full stop.
What I see here in her post is her asking and reaching out for help. She has asked before and although I and others may not have the answers for her, then I am sure asking is her only option right now.
It appears she has taken the first big step to getting help.
It must have been the hardest thing ever to have to ask and then tell of the life she has endured.
In this day and age there is always an option. You do need to find the right channels though. But options there are.
The only not available option is changing into Miss Perfect with meds.
My OH doesn't tell me to go on meds to change myself. The most he says is, if you think it would help you then give it a try.
I do understand your OH and not wanting to spoil Christmas. Those days are awful for me too. What he could do is talk to you about how to relieve your stress, i.e. maybe he could help you.
And alcohol doesn't solve the problem either. Neither do drugs, etc.
yes you are right.
Having followed and read the many posts Ellie has written I can see she is stuck without much option than to just keep placating.
If you have any constructive advice then please share it with her or if needs be on here, I know you all care as do I. I think this has reached a point where placating is no longer an option for her. Unless she does as he demands and stops causing him unwanted issues she would need to stop having a reasoning mind.
Thank you windscale and all, please understand this really is at tipping point.
why else ask for such information knowing the consequences means no mind, inability to have self volition.
Sadly it appears that is all he wants, judging by previous threads and comments Ellie has posted in the past. he is totally unwilling to even stop to think about her welfare, His needs are paramount.
And sadly it isn’t easy to walk away from such a man it really isn’t.
She needs constructive help and support which is why I think she started this thread.
The ability to come across as high functioning is great, always ready to step in and give her support. Well it is her time to be supported as best we can given the difficult circumstances.
Thank you for the suggestions. I have forwarded the names to my OH to look into. Its getting the balance right of retaining function but getting rid of the symptoms. I can't be turned into a zombie as it might upset the Christmas guests... conversely... a medication not strong enough might equally cause a challenge
Well, I took Sertraline, Respiridone and the most awful thing called Sodium Valproate. All of it worked but the side effects made me stop. Others are just taking something to ease the anxiety like Valium.
Honestly though, I think you need to double check what you want out of this relationship.
I see Ellie posted a reply while I was typing.
Multi agency support. Good.
As I said it is ok reaching out for support, but knowing how the system works is paramount, she needs to have real answers if anyone has information from experiencing this kind of situation.
I am sure if they request a PM, she will contact them, or PM her.
She has helped and supported so many on here over eighteen months of being here, it is time she got support from us in any way we can.
I know how hard it is to request help. It goes against how I feel.
I just keep going regardless of my own self, a life time of just doing for others and accepting I am only here to do for others, keep quite, do what’s needed and exist.
Take care Ellie.
I see Ellie posted a reply while I was typing.
Multi agency support. Good.
As I said it is ok reaching out for support, but knowing how the system works is paramount, she needs to have real answers if anyone has information from experiencing this kind of situation.
I am sure if they request a PM, she will contact them, or PM her.
She has helped and supported so many on here over eighteen months of being here, it is time she got support from us in any way we can.
I know how hard it is to request help. It goes against how I feel.
I just keep going regardless of my own self, a life time of just doing for others and accepting I am only here to do for others, keep quite, do what’s needed and exist.
Take care Ellie.
Thank you for the suggestions. I have forwarded the names to my OH to look into. Its getting the balance right of retaining function but getting rid of the symptoms. I can't be turned into a zombie as it might upset the Christmas guests... conversely... a medication not strong enough might equally cause a challenge
Well, I took Sertraline, Respiridone and the most awful thing called Sodium Valproate. All of it worked but the side effects made me stop. Others are just taking something to ease the anxiety like Valium.
Honestly though, I think you need to double check what you want out of this relationship.
