Indirect discrimination?

The hardest kind of boss to deal with is one who seems to be supportive some of the time but does confusing and hurtful things at other times. There is a risk of opening up to them, feeling that they are on your side, but then being treated very badly. Often it is because they have issues of their own - autistic people like us are very attractive targets for narcissists. The track record you describe is shared by many of us. I sometimes feel like I must be walking around with a target on my back at work. 

If agreements about adjustments are made try to get it put in writing. I am off work with stress at the moment working out what to do about similar problems I have experienced at work. Another difficulty we sometimes have is that even if people are treating us very badly we excuse their behaviour because we feel sorry for them. Or we assume we must be responsible in some way. You do not deserve to be treated like this. Please hold onto that thought. 

Thank you everyone for your input and support.

After an anxious day of going over this in my head repeatedly, I decided not to disclose to colleagues because it is just too distressing for me and I am sure they wouldn't appreciate it either.

I might have to explore some options with HR and see whether working from home can be classed as a resonable adjustment in their eyes. I am also wary of my boss as he always said these sorts of things to me behind closed doors where no one else can hear. The whole thing is putting me on edge as I have a track record of working for manipulative and bullying bosses - especially when they suss my weaknesses.

I feel a little better knowing I am not stressing over nothing as some of the words my bossboss said have stuck with me. Things like being more open and see all this as my development. I'm not sure what exactly I am suppose to be developing into, but there we have it.

this is also a really helpful one (written by ATL who are a teaching union, but should be relevant for other employers as well). It specifically mentions working from home as an example of a reasonable adjustment

https://www.atl.org.uk/Images/equality-disabled-education-staff-atl-guidelines.pdf

here is another link that could be relevant if you do find you are taking "sick days" due to ASD

https://www.tuc.org.uk/sites/default/files/tucfiles/sickness_absence_and_disability_discrimination_feb2013.pdf

Hi Starbuck,

Sorry to hear about the problems you've been having with your employer, who shouldn't be forcing you to disclose your diagnosis if you don't want to. The Equality Act legally requires employers to make reasonable adjustments, so from your description of events it sounds like you may have a claim for unlawful discrimination against your employer. Something you might want to look at is the Citizens Advice page for employment discrimination - https://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/work/discrimination-at-work/what-are-the-different-types-of-discrimination/what-can-you-do-if-an-employer-refuses-to-make-reasonable-adjustments/ - which explains in detail your rights under the law and what your employer is required to provide. If you look towards the bottom of the page you will find links to the Equality Rights Support Service, and Acas, two organisations which can offer advice on this issue and arbitrate disputes between employees and employers.

Hope this is of some use,

Ross - mod

Sorry to hear how tricky things are. The fact that no one has mentioned your probationary status shows things are not being managed properly. i remember a former colleague being told that her 6 month probatonary period  was going to be extended when she had already completed 8 months in her new role. The employer had to back down eventually because this should have been addressed at the time, not retrospectively. 

I would record everything you can and keep any notes you make at home, not at work. Getting some independent advice from ACAS or a similar organisation might be a good idea too, so you know exactly where you stand. A lot depends on the employer being willing to make adjustments. Many employers totally disregard employment law and their own equality policies. 

Don't let this undermine your confidence - employers like this are very poor at the mechanics and human aspects of managing people. 

Oops I seem to have posted nothing! Sorry. This sounds unreasonable to me. You don’t have to disclose to anyone for sure. My colleagues just know I have adjustments for health reasons, that stops issues. And yes it’s your bosses job to make sure people DONT turn against you! 

I guess the rest depends what’s reasonable for your company. I got flexible working (1 day a week from hone where possible) written down by OH as a reasonable adjustment. Have you got an OH person you get referred to. May be worth it?

Bu you are not an island and they also have a duty of care

I certainly want to avoid confrontation and misunderstandings, but my experience of these sorts of situations is that they don't end well.

I want to speak to HR for advice but they are also the PA to my boss and I don't trust anyone in my company to treat information confidential. Certain details have already been spread despite being told in confidence. So call me cautious but I trust no one.

Some of the OT recommendations could be deemed as unreasonable, but most were acceptable in my opinion.

I have also recently gone over my 6 months probationary, but no one has spoken to me or given any feedback since I have started on whether things are going well or not. I still don't know if I am on probationary or not.

I'm not entirely sure but I don't think your boss can legally demand that you tell your colleagues about your diagnosis. You have informed the relevant people so I you don't want to tell anyone else that's your right

I think this stems from a lack of understanding and empathy.

I think they way they see it, my condition can be managed and the fact I am struggling sometimes means I am not managing it properly. They also can't understand why I won't disclose it publicly, despite my warnings that past experience has seen some people target and exploit me as a result. I was told to be more open and see it as part of my development.

This sounds like a rubbish manager who doesn't want the hassle & bother of dealing with anything that disrupts his small view of the world. He clearly doesn't have the skills to 'manage' his department so he's applying pressure to you to conform back to the same baseline as everyone else.

It is a shame that the recommendations in the OT report were not implemented. I wonder if 'complicated' means they were difficult to understand or seen as impractical or expensive to implement? When I have been able to work from home in previous jobs some kind of risk assessment has been done. No one actually visited my home but I completed a form confirming that the working environment and computer work station did not present any significant problems. Presumably this was so that my employer could not be held accountable for any harm that was caused to me. Gradually the privilege of working from home got withdrawn in my previous jobs, this was for everyone not just for me. Sadly some people abused it whereas I always got more work done.

To avoid a confrontation perhaps you could suggest bringing in Access to Work to help achieve a workable solution. They may be able to come up with some new suggestions. Helping people to retain employment is one of their priorities. The decision about disclosing your diagnosis to colleagues should be yours alone. Insisting that you do so in order to avoid colleagues turning on you is really inappropriate in my opinion. This is something you should only have to do if and when you feel comfortable with it. 

The problems seem to stem from the shut downs you experience. If you didn't have to go sick then working from home would not be necessary. It is difficult to know whether or not your employer is being reasonable - it depends on what the OT recommendations were. Again, this is something Access to Work could assist with. If you are in a Trade Union they will be able to advise and support you. If not you could contact ACAS who can help to resolve situations at work where there is conflict. It would be difficult to find another job, and similar problems might arise, so it is worth exploring ways of making things work for you and for your employer. Good luck today, hope it goes well. 

They seem to be putting a great onus on you to sort this out as seem to be incompetent in showing a duty of care, communicating clearly and consistently with staff and doing their job