Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi, I am a woman in my 30’s. I have 5 kids and a full time job and am set to go for my ASD assessment next week. I am really nervous. I have hid things my whole life, my crazy ruminating, bizarre thought processes, constant criticism of myself. At this point I am hoping the assessor will be able to see beyond my mask and help me.
I have been asked to bring with me my school reports which arent remarkable. I was a good student, pleasant, so nothing to really see there.
I have read up on the difference in girls with ASD and am really hoping that the diagnosticians are prepared for that type of presentation for I definitely don’t scream out that I have ASD. Well according to my family and friends yes I am quirky and they wouldn’t be surprised if I get a diagnosis, but others who don’t know me well just see me as normal. Is there anything I need to know before I go or has anyone any idea what I should expect? G
This post really interested me. Can I ask why you felt you needed a diagnosis? What sort of help do you think you might need.
If there was no need for a diagnosis, why would anyone seek one. As with any condition there are characteristically things people will struggle with. I’m not an expert on autism so I don’t know how others cope with the things I struggle with therefore I sought a diagnosis to see if there is a more helpful way than the way I muddle through if it is autism I have. That’s it in a nut shell really. Can I ask why this post interested you?
This is the fifth time I’ve started to write a reply!
In a nutshell, I’ve just had the realisation I am autistic. It hit me Friday out of nowhere. I don’t actually want to believe it, but I can’t stop thinking about anything else. I don’t know if I want a diagnosis. I haven’t told anyone yet, and I don’t know how anyone can help me. I feel I’ve got this far (I’m 45) and am very set in my ways. To say I struggle with life is an understatement.
I’m simply feeling shell shocked. I don’t feel I have strength to deal with it anyway, as I am putting all my energy into my daughter who has her assessment tomorrow. She the priority for now.
Thank you for your response. What you have written sounds very familiar. I will try and read some of your other posts too, along with other people’s.
My daughters assessment was today. I’m glad it’s over. We did and said all we could, but I’m not hopeful for a diagnosis, as they feel her social skills are too good, or she’s masking very well. Such a difficult experience. We sat there, and she was talking in her monotone voice throughout. Soon as we get outside into the car, she’s talking normally. I just wish they could see things like that. She’s good with expressions and things, but behind the surface she’s deadpan, if you know what I mean?
I thought they would see through it, but obviously not .
In the session without my daughter, they were keen to address my new found knowledge, and did ask me a few things about my past and struggles. They suggested once things are settled, I should seriously consider coming for an assessment. They did also say it was really common for things to come to the surface when children are being diagnosed.
I am going through a similar situation with my daughter and to be honest, I’m glad that we are going through it together because it has helped her not be scared for want of a better word. The problems she faces are problems I had growing up and facing them with her and getting her help has improved how she feels about herself and school so far. For her to know that she isn’t alone has helped.
I look at my journey as an aside from what’s going on with her. If I find out I have it, great, If i find out I don’t, great. I don’t lose anything. You can only gain from getting a better understanding of yourself.
I have got this far, but it was an uphill struggle and I still find things hard. For me it’s socialising and communication that I have the most difficulty with. It can be exhausting trying to explain to professionals what you are thinking especially when they ask why you think you have autism.
Initially I was being assessed for ADHD. But through a private consultation the psychiatrist said that I have traits but my main problem was he believes I have Aspergers, and suggested I go for a formal assessment. So I arrived at this inadvertently.
It can be scary to think there is something ‘wrong’ with you but I don’t look at it that way anymore. I may hopefully be able to put a name to what I felt was different about me all my life. I feel that it is empowering. I’m helping myself and I’m helping my daughter. If I can get some helpful tips for coping from others along the way then I will be extremely happy.
All my life I felt as if I was missing something, or one step behind others. I don’t want to feel like that anymore. I worry about assessments and appointments too and what to say to people. How I deal with them is I stick the date in a calendar and forget about it until it comes up and then I just go and just be myself.
I hope u feel better about it all and I understand it is a scary time. I’ve posted a few things on here before and hearing feedback from other adults and females has helped.