Last year's new year's resolution

distinctly remember looking at the image in the mirror when I went to bed on new year's eve last year and saying "now I change, now I become someone new, the old me has failed and is tired". Time to regenerate (Doctor Who inspired)

Next day I woke up and began to live my new life. Changed my style, my hair etc. Within 7 weeks I was admitted to hospital because I had got to the point where I couldn't stand myself, my situation, my life, who I was, where I should be going,  but most of all I could no longer stand my mindscape. My trying to run away from myself had finally triggered something inside to snap.

Since then I've learned a lot about ASD and how it affects people so differently. Above all I was amazed when I joined here to read the stories of so many others and how, affected differently we maybe, we still have a sense of shared identity.

A lot of people have posted saying that they have lived, hidden behind a mask and now, after discovering, leaning about ASD and themselves, they feel free, true to themselves, no longer needing to pretend or stress over why they are the way they are.

I think my new year's resolution this year will to embrace the true me, stop hiding him away. The first half of my life has been spent trying to be like everyone else. The second half is going to be me living as me.

Happy New Year to you all.

  • That's a great idea, thanx ,

  • There is autism referral for people of all ages. Over 25 you will fit in to the "Adult Autism" pathway. You can find out for yourself where the referral should go to - just Google for it, say you're in Dorset you would search for "autism referral dorset" and it tells you exactly how to get the referral, you just speak to your GP and get them to refer you to that place. You can find out and phone up your GP to tell them, to save them looking.

    Well done for having written things down, this is really important as you can present all this evidence when you get referred. I wrote my own report on myself on why I thought I had autism and it was very helpful for them, state what difficulties you have (start by focusing on the social difficulties and then describe everything else, including your autistic traits), and how these things have affected your life. The more information they have to use in their decision the better. And don't worry, they're used to seeing lots of detail!

  • Thanks it went as well as it could have gone,I was really nervous but had written stuff down. So just read of their but the gp did listen and agreed to refer me but did not know of a referal place for adults over 25. She said she would try and find out in the next two weeks and refer me. And to check back in to make sure to see if she has,otherwise rebook an appointment.

    Only disappointed my gp record goes back to 2003 whereas I had speech therapy back in the mid 90s,as that might have helped.

  • Poetically put. Thank you. I will.

  • I think my new year's resolution this year will to embrace the true me, stop hiding him away. The first half of my life has been spent trying to be like everyone else. The second half is going to be me living as me.

    Good for you dazahomestead! A lot of having ASD is understanding who you are, and what ASD means to you. It is difficult having ASD, but it gives you a unique view on the world, and makes you special. You're the only you in the entire world, so use that gift of uniqueness to make your part of the world a better place in whatever way is meaningful to you. Embrace all that you are, and be the true you.

    Happy New Year!

  • Good luck at the GP today - make sure you mention adverse ways in which being autistic is affecting you - some areas wil not fund adult assessment unless there are associated issues. The adult diagnosis pages on the NAS website provide a helpful overview and relevant links. 

  • Happy new year to you aswell,

    I totally understand where you are coming from about the shared identity, I have only been on here a week, I finally feel so understood for once in my life.

    strangely My new years resolution this year was to look after myself and that lead me to self-diagnosing.

    I think the biggest realisation that has helped me is knowing that I  am not stupid just wired differently and that's okay, although still struggling with self-acceptance

    GP appointment today for referrel hopefully it goes well