Do you work?

Personality counts for a lot.

Many years ago after I left university, I attended a graduate recruitment full day assessment at the Barclays Bank computer centre, I passed all the technical and psychometric tests.  Finally an interview with the HR department, and we were warned this was separate from all the previous tests and we had to show that we were the RIGHT type of people for the bank.  I failed it of course.

Keep reflecting on this subject because it's really dogged me over the years.  Since my diagnosis in October, memories keep coming back.  One in particular.  I was once pushed straight to the top of the redundancy list on the back of an informal reference from someone at board level with whom I'd hardly ever worked.  I was the systems accountant and she was in a more strategic, decision-making role.  Her damning comment was that I "keep myself to myself".  And the employer seemed to favour extroverts, as usual.  No matter that my role actually required me to mostly stay within the finance department and act as technical support.  I wonder whether, if I'd been diagnosed at the time, this might have given me some protection?  Certainly the accountancy qualification only seemed to help very little and I felt judged on my personality.  :(   

Zomted said:

Mostly when it involves interaction with colleagues!

Yes.  It would be easier interacting with hostile aliens from a far-distant galaxy!  I simply don't speak their language.

haha lists, my whole life is listed on post-it notes 

When I received my Diagnosis report in the post, there was a loose page at the back which was titled "How you can help <my name> at work". It was a list of about 8 bullet points of how my work/workplace can be modified to help suit my needs better to get the best out of me. When I showed it to my boss, he said very emphatically that this was really useful and this should be the first thing I show my new boss when I next change role.

I'll go see if I can find it, might be useful for others.

Edit: here it is

That is a good thing. Stability and being able to plan ahead can really reduce anxiety and stress. If things can be organised in a way that works for you, work pressures will be much more manageable and you will feel a lot more positive about your life. I hope the meeting with your boss goes well. Might be worth taking in a few notes about what would be helpful. I sometimes find it hard to remember everything I want to say so use lists a lot. Good luck! 

I went to the doctors yesterday and was signed off from work for anxiety and depression, this is caused by problems at work due to my symptoms. Have a meeting with the boss today, he says he wants to make conditions more stable for me.

Things are going from bad to worse for me. As I am  as yet undiagnosed , the transport staff at work don’t seem to be taking it seriously, they say they understand my condition, then they go and do things that they know will send me off the rails. I am starting to become very depressed, and don’t want to go to work.

Hi Emma,

I've worked for the same company for the last 17 years. When I'm in the office, it's open plan. I'm very lucky in that it doesn't get too noisy because we don't have 'phones, and we've scrapped the meeting rooms in favour of virtual meetings on Skype. I'm in I.T. so we're very task-focused (not people-focused), and it doesn't particularly matter if you're weird or different, because everyone here is to some degree, it's a very accepting place. I also work from home a number of days a week, as we don't have enough desks to have everyone in all of the time, and that's just perfect. Most of my "conversations" are through online chat with my colleagues both in the office and in another country. It hasn't always been like this, but nowadays my job is quite ideal. I don't have to deal with people, I get to work from home, and I get to excel in the work that I do. I guess it depends on the job, the company, and how well the culture supports you and your differences/needs. Only my manager knows I have autism, other people just think I'm a "typical I.T. person", i.e. very good at the technical work but not so good at the people stuff. Nowadays the only time I "Play the 'A' card" is at the Christmas meal - instead of going out for a Christmas social meal with the team, I get to go on one just me and my wife and the company pays for it. My manager doesn't particularly understand autism, but he does accept it, and my company has a big culture of acceptance. We have Pride groups, Disability groups, Volunteering groups, lots of wellbeing stuff available, and it's supported right the way from the very top of the company to the very bottom. I think that's because of the "mental health" movement we've had in this country the past few years, my company really jumped on board and strives to be the leader for workplace health and wellbeing. It's a massive multinational company so they can afford to support people with needs, although to be fair I don't really have special concessions for anything. I imagine it's more difficult for a smaller company if there's only 4 people and one needs more support than the others.

It's clear you understand which bits you struggle with and could do with more support on. It might be worth working through some of your tasks with your boss and team, to either get someone else to do parts of them or so you can get more support with them. I personally am really terrible at planning, so when I have a task that involves planning, I give that part to a colleague who's really good at planning. There's nothing that says I have to do the task; all the company cares about is that the task is done, so I figure it's better to get the planning bit done by the person who's best at planning, and get the technical bit done by the person who excels at that part. That way, the overall task gets done in the best way possible, and the company is using its resources in the best way, and the employees all get to do work they're good at and really enjoy. Everyone wins, and you end up with a better outcome.

If you know what you excel at, and what you struggle with, you can either try adapting your job to fit you better, or you can find a job that suits your skills better. I know it's easy to say "find another job", what I meant was that there might be a career you're particularly suited to that you haven't tried yet, so speaking to a career counsellor could be really worthwhile.

Hoe this has been of some help :)

Sorry to hear things were difficult but it is good that other people are aware and understanding. One the hardest  things is to make time for soothing, relaxing activities. It seems like self indulgence and yet it seems to be a vital strategy for living a contented life. The Christmas shutdown is very close now. Glad you are thinking about ways of unwinding. 

I had a big meltdown last night, I thought the transport staff were going to run for cover, they sent me to that new place again, but told me I was collecting a 50ft trailer instead of a 40ft one, well I thought my world was going to end. I explained my problem to the transport staff the other week, so they understand when I kick off.

Been thinking about the sea, think I need to do some fishing soon and unwind, can’t wait till the Christmas shutdown.

I work 2 shifts at a dog kennels. I've been there about 3 months, LOVE the residents. Earlier this year I worked at a new Argos store - after the hours / schedule turned out to be totally different than what was promised at the interview, and was taking ages to get back to what I had been promised I gave up. Especially as the guy sorting the rotas spoke to me as if I was a child when I asked. I did my usual of bursting into tears and left there and then.

The job prior to that had me totally confused about my role until the day I had a mini-breakdown. I may or may not have been moving office, may or may not have been in one team or another, may or may not would have a new boss etc etc etc and it all came to a head when I supposedly said something awful to a colleague which she interpreted as " I can't wait for you to go on maternity leave" when in fact I meant that I was keeping the peace because she was soon to go on maternity leave ie not cause any bad feeling and complain even though that she was bossing me around, whilst only being a colleague not a supervisor. 

I have just been thinking about applying for new jobs and have looked at my history (16 jobs in 14 years). I will have to cull most of these jobs from my CV and 'stretch' the time I was in those that I keep to look like I can be a reliable employee. I always want to do well but it never seems to work out in the end. t's making me feel anxious just thinking about getting a 'proper' job again. 

The sea is very soothing. We can get to a nice quiet beach in about 45 minutes. 

When I worked nights I'd get to bed around 7am then my mum would phone up at 11am and say "aren't you up yet?" That's like calling someone at  3am! In the summer I would sometimes sleep outside in the garden during the day. 

Hope tonight goes OK - thinking things through in advance is what lots of us seem to do! I think things over again after they have happened too (no wonder my brain is tired!) 

A walk on the beach sounds lovely, I love the sea.

working nights is ok, I start at 6pm, usually get home by 5am, sleep from 6 till noon, sometimes I get a chance to have a quick doze in the lorry, but I usually sit and watch tv on my phone. I do feel drained sometimes, I feel like I’m wasting time if I sleep during the day. Just getting ready to set off to work again, been thinking about it for hours, where am I going, how heavy will my load be etc etc, hehe.

That is great - good that you got through your shift OK - like you say it will be easier next time. We have just been for a walk on the beach - some fantastic waves today. There are anxiety meds you are ok to drive with. As you say once diagnosed you can look into this.

Do you find working nights messes up your sleep pattern? I did it years ago but not recently -  I tend to rule out jobs involving nights these days as I am tired even without working shifts! 

Hi Sunflower, I made it through the night, once I got to my destination and did a trailer swap and knew I was heading back to base, I was fine, now maybe I won’t feel quite so anxious if I get sent there again. Once I get a diagnosis, I will see if there are any meds I can take while driving. I hope you are having a good day:)

Hi there that's tough - a big part of controlling my anxiety is planning ahead and preparing. It would really challenge me having to change the destination like that. Not sure what can be done apart from using any self-soothing strategies you have - mine are things like listening to music, eating chocolate, playing with sensory things.

At the moment I have some calming medication - Propanalol - a beta blocker. It helps a lot. When you get diagnosed you should be given some information about coping strategies. There's a lot of information out there - the best often seems to come from people who are actually autistic. Hope your night goes OK. 

Hi, I am a lorry driver, I drive artics doing night trunks. Most times things go well, unless like tonight, they tell me I’m going somewhere different, I feel sick, have a headache, shaking inside, starting to feel upset and a bit angry. I haven’t been diagnosed yet, but I’m pretty sure I’m autistic, I have no idea how to cope with these situations 

Hi Emma,

I'm a designer and work in an office. It's not a huge office, but on a busy day, there can be 12-15 colleagues in at once, so those days for me can raise my anxiety levels because of the constant voices and interaction. I also find it very difficult to concentrate sometimes with all that goes on around me. Some days are more draining than others, so on the those days, I find myself disappearing up to the gents just for a few minutes of calm and quiet. It's a big difference how much more comfortable I feel when I'm by myself. 

Just so you know, I'm not officially diagnosed as having any form of Autism, but after reading more about the symptoms and discovering this web-site, I'm pretty sure I do fall into the spectrum somewhere.

Every time I read a post or comment in this community, I relate so much to it.

I'll have to see how this phd goes. I've been finding it very hard so far, but mostly because I've been in a state of autistic burnout without realising it (only diagnosed a couple of months ago). If only I knew before I started. I also have a hard time following instructions so often lab work gets messed up. Even though I like it.

I must say it's much easier to manage my health problems without the pressure of running my life to someone else's clock. And it's nice to use my energy for the things I want to do rather than having it all stolen by other's demands.