What were you like as a baby?

I got to about 1 and a half, started talking, and then never stopped. I always did well academically except for numeracy due to being dyscalculate. It was presumed I would be a gifted child, but whether or not that would apply to an adult IQ I can't tell, the problem with IQ tests is they go on too long and I just lose interest and focus on them towards the end I'm now beginning to realise that's because I'm an AuDHD brain not just ASC. If I ever take adderal I'll do it again and see if I can beat my last score of 126.
I actually don't believe in telling kids they are gifted early in life now because it creates expectations that they will almost always fall short of when other factors such as neurodivergence, economical status, not having connections, etc, ect, hit them as they grow up, so I think it's cruel to set kids up to feel like screw ups later in life, when actually they could have done a lot worse.
Anyway but to get back on subject: No in early years at least I was outwardly social, my struggles have always just increased along with the complexity of the environment I have to navigate, so as a small child when the world was also "small" was the one time I had no issues outside of a sensory sensitivity but I suppose that also just got filed under "fussy toddler being fussy toddler" and was missed.

My mum says I was a quiet baby I never made much noise.

I didn't like the feel of water or sand

I hated being dressed

And I didn't like being with anyone other than my mum

Apparently I threw up everything I was given. Then as an infant I did pointing and making a noise to get what I wanted long after I was supposed to be speaking. Even after I could speak, I avoided talking outside of the home until I was 7. I got sent to speech therapy but can't remember if it helped.

I could read pretty fluently when I started school aged 4 and 3 months.

dunno i dont have anything to compare it to so id say i was like a baby.

but i do have memories from being a baby, i remember knowing and understanding english in my head and wondering why i cant produce that through my mouth. i remember me trying to engraine memories in my head from then knowing i will forget, i remember being in my parents garden in a cot or seat thing and parents went into kitchen and some voice telling me things, like look after your mum, beware of your dad as hes a bit grumpy (and that was at a time he hadnt gotten to his grumpy phase and still had his mustasch which made him look funny and not as hostile) i dunno whos voice that was but im sure it came from nowhere. i must have been a easily managed baby as i could understand what was required of me and in my head i understood english.

my memory is weird that i remember such long ago things beyond what i should be able to remember... but yet i forget things close by like where i left my keys! lol

I'm told I was content to just play on my own - I'd wake from sleeping and wouldn't cry. My mum would just find me happily entertaining myself staring into space. I didn't seek her out for hugs, unlike my little sister, who cried a lot and sought out lots of attention. I remember being very jealous of how much my mum seemed to enjoy my sister's company more than she did mine. I couldn't understand what I was doing wrong.

I'm 45 now and my daughter is going through an autism assessment right now. As a baby her speech was way ahead of her peers too. She thrived on a rigid routine and was very sensitive to any changes to this.

I have always struggled with the concept of being in denial of things which are both blatantly obvious and at the same time horrific.  I once chuckled at a quote on Twitter (I don't know who said it) which to paraphrase, went something like "Twitter, the place where people get offended at the idea of war and exploitation, rather than being offended by war and exploitation."

I have always struggled to understand why people are happy to go along with denial, rather than face up to facts and either accept certain things about life, as well as trying to change things which they feel are morally and ethically wrong.

Maybe if we all stop being so offended by the ideas of things and started to analyse how we can accept and make things better, the world would be a much nicer place to live in.  And I have started off on a cheery note for a Sunday morning!

I had obsessions about WWII. So bad that my parents attempted to stop me from reading books about the subject. I was fascinated by the horror side of it.

Me too, I was always covered in bruises. Still am actually and half the time I don't know where they come from ️

Yes, the positive side of qualities like sensitivity was overlooked.

No one suspected I had ASD as a kid and although my mum will insist I was a happy healthy baby, there were definitely some tell tale signs.

I would hyperfocus on activities, such as building things with blocks, lego or meccano and I would also have terrible tantrums during my younger years.  My mum said I had a vile temper where I would just scream, hit myself, throw myself onto the floor and smack my head repeatedly off things.  I can remember doing some of these and it was never because I couldn't have my own way - it was because I was so wound up and could burst with rage that was triggered from a number of things.

I used to get told off for cutting the labels out of my clothes and for not making eye contact.  In fact my school report said I need to make more of an effort to socialise and that I was very quiet and shy.

With regards to development, my speech, reading and writing was always very good, but I suffered with my coordination.  I was forever covered in bruises and scabs from falling over and walking into things.

I would also spend a lot of time on my own, drawing and reading and I was very interested in fantasy novels and characters - these were my special interests and I would collect things associated with them and recite facts to friends and family.  It probably just looked like I was going through a phase at the time.  One of my special interests, which did freak my mum out was the subject of death - I was about 5 or 6 at the time.  She even consulted with friends and doctors as she was concerned.  I just couldn't understand why it was so taboo if it happened to everyone, so I was curious to learn more.

Were the teachers pointing out you were the solitary type? I think I clung to one boy in kindergarten. I got traumatised when he left to go to another school than me.

Nothing out of the ordinary was noticed with me until I was 3 years old in nursery class. My mother dismissed the teachers comments as a fuss over nothing then afterwards blamed them rather than me for the problem. I had no speech delays.

One year I just refused to take part in the system to see what happened (multiple sign-offs required in a computerised system that would have kept a red-flag on the metrics dashboard for not being 100% completed, visible right to the very top of the company).

Nothing happened - I got a few hassling e-mails from HR and no-one ever followed it up.

Proof that the entire system was a waste of time.

I don't think I've ever worked anywhere where the performance appraisals and performance related pay/bonus scheme have ever really been a motivating factor for people.  But pretty much everywhere I've worked they've been a demotivating factor/waste of time.

I can see it might work for things like sales, but I'm not sure it really has the universal applicability that corps and HR depts. seem to think it does.

In my current job I spend a maximum of about 5 minutes a year on it just clicking buttons and putting in minimal amounts of text necessary to stop the hassling you get for not doing it.  It doesn't change anything, so TBH it's not really even worth the 5 minutes a year spent on it.

Those recurring obligatory appraisals (you've got to live the positiveness of that word) are complete and utter nonsense ofcourse. In the past I've so often said to a superior to just cut the positive start and please get down to the bottom of it. Which they find strange. I have no patience for BS *** that. We both know you're going to say something critical so PLEASE get to it.

I've got difficulty dealing with people who get stuck in some emotion and don't seem to care about any solution I have to offer. For me it's like: so you've got this problem - information - analysis - solution A, B, maybe C if you want. But please make some kind of decision. Please.

Yes - absolutely.

I hated the falsness of appraisals - you know they have already made their decisions so the talk is justifying whatever BS they've written to be able to not do what they promised last time.

I'm 100% practical - whatever problem occurs, then I work out the best/correct solution and move forward - emotions are just delays that waste time before the solution can be implemented. I find it frustrating that NTs have to go through a whole load of emotional steps before they can move forward. What's more annoying is when their emotions make them decide to do irrational things.

I think those performance talks are what they call 'bilateral conversations' over here. Which gives the impression you and your superior are actually on the same level and you give each other feedback. Which obviously is not the case as it is mostly a one way talk of superior evaluating you.

That whole feeling thing I can relate to. I notice it here on this forum as well. I can come up with practical advice, but rarely do the 'I feel sorry for you' thing. It also seems of little use.

My own diagnosis doesn't impress me, and if our daughter would be diagnosed it would just be a fact. I am quite practical in that way. Okay we have x, now where do we go and what are the options?

I don't worry about stuff like a diagnosis, I just want to gather data and see if I can make a match. Or where not exactly. Like the two pictures where you have to find differences or similarities whichever way you look at it. If that makes any sense at all ️

My daughter is very impressive. For lots of reasons.

I don't really do emotions at all so I just treated the whole thing as just more data. I found diagnosis useful as a block of feedback which allowed me to adjust my mask so I could hide for a little longer.

I have absolutely no feelings about it either way. (I'm very, very AS - think Mr Data from STNG).

I'm lucky that I've mostly worked on my own in technologies that my managers have never understood so I've been mostly left to get on with things with little interruption. Apart from the annoying BS performance appraisals.

Woah, your daughter is impressive! Were you shocked by the diagnosis? Or the suggestion? 

I can but it has to be very deliberate. And only for a short talk. When the other person is four meters or more away it is no problem. But sitting at a table and talking one-on-one is really difficut. I always end up looking at something on the wall on the upper left of the other person. Very tiring ️

That is a good approach! That way no one notices much either