Hi everyone
I'm just writing here because I'm not really okay and I need contact with people who possibly understand how I am reacting to my situation.
I am being evicted (landlord selling) and have been trying really hard to cope with it. I don't want to move, it was a complete shock and I'm scared. People have been helping me and I've tried really hard to trust and to let people speak about my difficulties to a lot of different professionals but after going to the council and having a melt down I just feel drained and feel like I don't want to do anything anymore.
I have had to freely give out my autism reports, medical history and personal history to strangers in the hope that they're trying to help and nothing is happening. People helping me have done referrals to a few places but the longer all these decisions take the more I have felt my anxiety around it all increasing. I've tried to tell people, I hoped I could keep holding it in but instead I feel like I have collapsed inside and I am finding it difficult to speak.
It isn't that I don't want to carry on trying to find somewhere because I do want to and I know it's important but it feels like my brain is forcing me to take a break from it when there's no time to take a break. I know I will need to move but I think a combination of not wanting everything to change and constant appointments is really affecting me now.
I have been told to rest up this weekend ready for next week, and that things might be tough for the next few weeks but I really really don't think I can do it. I have another meeting at the council next week but I don't want to go. I realise they are the correct people to go to but when I went last week the person I was seeing seemed genuinely surprised that an individual with autism might not be able to speak and break down and cry and I felt ashamed of myself. Luckily someone was with me to explain, but it made me feel worse. We couldn't complete the meeting and need to try again but I can't. I feel like I am letting everyone down, but I also feel like I have no control over it.
I hope that makes a bit of sense even though it's rambling. I just needed to express some feelings. I'm worried I might be having a bit of an inside meltdown that I really hope is gone by Monday.
Thank you :)
