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Aspergers in the Workplace

NAS39237

Hello,

Firstly I should state I am awaiting results from my Diagnosis test but believe I may be on the spectrum. Within that said, I wanted to address something I have struggled with all my life - Aspergers within the workplace.

I currently work in retail - Which as you could imagine is a nightmare considering my possible condition. I feel i can function with the tasks of the job very well - Admittedly I struggle to focus on tasks when I see there are much bigger issues that need attending to. But I consider myself very good at customer service, something I have been complimented on within my reviews. So I can handle brief encounters with customers, what I struggle with is a working relationship with colleagues.

I can't do small talk, I will ask questions like "How you doing?" (Not in a Joey FRIENDS sort of way :P) "Been up to much lately?", " Have any plans for the evening?" Which can work but I find these days they get very minimal response because my colleagues have noted my social debilitations. I see them all sudden spring up topics of conversation and I have no idea how. Many other times I don't care or find the matter of conversation crude and want no involvement.

I don't have any intention to socialise with these people beyond work, but I guess they do with each other. Of course, today in the world we have social media with offers communication at a distance so after hours if they get along they will continue to talk and maintain a bond on their. Me I can't stand social media for many reasons but I have often felt discarded from people of this generation because of a lack of an online presence and persistence to maintain bonds with them through that. Even with my limited friends, I meet them individually and prefer 1to1 contact with that than having them associated and mixing - Another reason I don't apply myself to social media is I preffer 1to1 communication and not to talk in an open space, the little time I did have it I would only PM people.

pardon the tangent, but I hope it applies context to my situation. While I have no intention in socialising with these people outside hours, I wish within hours wasn't such a strain. I often get ignored by some staff when greeting with them and as I mentioned before as I cannot create conversation or maintain bonds well I get a very cold reception in general.

Notable traits:
- I cannot address people by name
- I struggle with eye Contact.
- I hate repeating myself if not heard.
- I feel very uncomfortable when there are more than 3-4 people in the cramped staff room.
- Narrow conversation field - If it isn't media (Movies, Video games etc.) I struggle - Unless it is work related but that's no fun!
- I struggle making mistakes in aim to keep a perfect image.

I just thought I would add a few traits that I certainly notice. I should add that I have previously been fired from a job due to having to colleagues nag at me while trying to focus on till work, I felt so much pressure build up that I was just trying to maintain myself and lost the company a notable fee within the transaction. But since then I have held my current job for 3+years.

I just wanted to lay my situation out there and get opinions on it? Has anyone else here been in a similar situation?

Parents

  • What you describe is quite similar in many ways to what I am experiencing in one of my part-time jobs. I am half-way through the assessment and diagnosis process at the moment. Like you I can cope with the interaction with customers. It is brief and focused on specific tasks. I actually enjoy that part of my job. 

    I do not want to connect with colleagues via social media. I am aware that some of them text and phone and email each other during the day for no specific work-related reason, just to be social. Again, this does not appeal to me.

    In many ways I am happy just getting on with my work. But I find it difficult when colleagues are not as conscientious as me - this means I have more work to do myself. If they are messing around not doing any work and I point out a task that needs doing this is received very badly. 

    How is your relationship with your line manager? If that is positive and supportive it can help a great deal. Unfortunately my autistic traits aggravate my manager which has resulted in either hostile communication or being ignored. Luckily I am a member of two Trade Unions. Once I get my diagnosis I can get them to help explain my differences.

    My biggest fear is that if I am diagnosed as autistic this will be used against me in some way. For example even more micro management than is currently the case, and having my competence and reliability put in doubt. 

    This is not the first time I have found myself in a difficult situation at work. Autistic traits do not fit easily into many types of employment. Thinking back the good work experiences have been those where I had my own office or work space, some autonomy, limited contact with colleagues, and no line management responsibility. 

    I really feel for you. I just wish there were more autism friendly work places where we could be productive and feel relaxed and satisifed. It is stress awareness day today, and work-related stress is a massive issue for autistic people. Some of the documents designed to promote best practice give advice that does not apply to me. Email communication is often seen as bad, and face to face communication as good, but it is exactly the opposite for me!

Reply

  • What you describe is quite similar in many ways to what I am experiencing in one of my part-time jobs. I am half-way through the assessment and diagnosis process at the moment. Like you I can cope with the interaction with customers. It is brief and focused on specific tasks. I actually enjoy that part of my job. 

    I do not want to connect with colleagues via social media. I am aware that some of them text and phone and email each other during the day for no specific work-related reason, just to be social. Again, this does not appeal to me.

    In many ways I am happy just getting on with my work. But I find it difficult when colleagues are not as conscientious as me - this means I have more work to do myself. If they are messing around not doing any work and I point out a task that needs doing this is received very badly. 

    How is your relationship with your line manager? If that is positive and supportive it can help a great deal. Unfortunately my autistic traits aggravate my manager which has resulted in either hostile communication or being ignored. Luckily I am a member of two Trade Unions. Once I get my diagnosis I can get them to help explain my differences.

    My biggest fear is that if I am diagnosed as autistic this will be used against me in some way. For example even more micro management than is currently the case, and having my competence and reliability put in doubt. 

    This is not the first time I have found myself in a difficult situation at work. Autistic traits do not fit easily into many types of employment. Thinking back the good work experiences have been those where I had my own office or work space, some autonomy, limited contact with colleagues, and no line management responsibility. 

    I really feel for you. I just wish there were more autism friendly work places where we could be productive and feel relaxed and satisifed. It is stress awareness day today, and work-related stress is a massive issue for autistic people. Some of the documents designed to promote best practice give advice that does not apply to me. Email communication is often seen as bad, and face to face communication as good, but it is exactly the opposite for me!

Children
  • in reply to Sunflower

    Thanks for responding Slight smile

    When it comes to working with colleagues I also too get very impatient when I see them slacking off and chatting. Part of it is just because I am there working and I see others not bothering and getting away with it. The other side to it is because I am a little resentful due to how they can all get along and I seem to just not be capable of it.

    We've had a lot of change-over with staff over the years, so I have built up decent bonds with 'higher-up' only to have them reset. With the current line-up I really do not get on with them at all - I think they just know of my social debilitations too and just don't think highly of me.

    I have never stated out right that I believe I am on the spectrum, while it may even be obvious to anyone with insight. But I also don't want it to be used against me and abused. The problem it these traits seem to always overlap my working experience wherever I go - I can manage the job but not the colleagues, I've considered job hunting again but I don't have much faith in that after being un-employed for 3 years and I feel the same issues will just arise again anyway.