Interesting opinion on autism

42?

Yes I struggled after going from what I guess was a fairly small Primary school to 1200 - 1500 pupil+ secondary schools. 

I mostly enjoyed University full time but I was studying my special interest so I already knew a large chunk of the syllabus before I started.  That helped keep the stress levels manageable.  I liked University because I "knew the rules of the game" - turn up to lectures, hand your assignments in on time, study for the exams.  The rest of the time is, to a greater or lesser extent, your own.  I didn't start full-time though until I was 22/23 and I'd already done three years of a part-time degree so I had some inkling of what was involved before I started.

Despite being very good at what I do, I've always found work difficult to a greater or lesser extent because rarely is how well you do actually related to how well you can do your job, and the rules of the game never seem to be clear and are constantly changing.

If I could go back to University full-time and afford being able to be there and live I'd do that in a heartbeat.  

It certainly connects with my experience.

I'm interested in the way autistic adults are sometimes not allowed full agency and are expected to remain as 'children'. Management relationships often veer towards parent:child rather than adult:adult in any case.

In autism organisations set up or run by parents of autistic children, who are not actually autistic themselves, it may be a real challenge to hand over power to autistic adults (on some level they may always be seen as 'children').

I am sure in some organisations this problematic dynamic has been overcome, but it might explain some of the tensions that occur. Does this connect with the theories you mentioned? 

Sunflower said:

I've got an interesting theory about ASD and Transactional Analysis in the workplace (parent:adult:child stuff) probably best shared somewhere other than this forum in an ASD only conversation :-) 

Might you theory involve Adulteration / Normalised Abuse via Power Role Transfers ~ as inhibits Psychological Age Proficiency and so forth perhaps?

I worked from home once - self-employed, subcontracting to an IT recruitment agency.  It was okay.  But some months I struggled to make enough money because it was commission-only.  I'd really love to be able to make money from home, but I don't know what I could do.  I don't have enough skills that I can turn into an income.

The main things that get to me in my current job (apart from the lack of breaks, which can be exhausting if you're with challenging clients) are the gossip groups and the fact that so many staff seem to spend hours messing with their smart phones on social media and dating sites, or messaging one another if they're working in separate areas - so the gossip is still going on!

That sounds like a good option. Close to home, familiar environment and reasonable hours. So important to have some energy left for fun, not use it all up at work. 

I'm far too task orientated to fit into most NT office environments - that's why I have always preferred working from home. I am not self conscious about how much work I do then, and there's no pressure to spend hours gossiping! 

I suffered most when I was a student, I don't think dumping me in with a bunch of people who happened to be the same age as me was a great idea when it came to establishing positive relationships. On the whole, things improved for me socially from 6th form onwards, getting better again at university and finally starting to work well when I left there and went into work.

I'm back in education as staff now, but it's much nicer from this angle!

Having done it for all my working career, I've found norm office environments very difficult.  They seem to be very heavily slanted towards "social areas with occasional 'work'" than things like working in factories.

I don't suppose you could elaborate on what you meant by "got out of education"?  Were you a student who stopped studying or were you a teacher/lecturer who stopped?

Burglary is a really good analogy Tom. So much depends on trust and when a line has been crossed it's very hard to reestablish that.

From what you've said some of your colleagues are clearly supportive. It's such a shame the attack dogs weren't identified earlier on and dealt with. 

Yeah.  Problem is I'm getting to the age where the options are getting smaller and smaller.  I've thought about going back to an office job, but I'll need to brush up on my MS Office skills because they're way out of date.  Not used Excel for years, and my version of Word is about 8 years old.

There are driving jobs, but they aren't set hours.  I don't want to go back to anything where there's loads of overtime.  A friend has just got a part-time job as a postie, but she's often getting called in for extra hours.  I may look at going onto casual staff at the place I used to work.  It's nearer for me, so I wouldn't need the car.  As long as I could get around 30 hours a week.

Hi Tom glad you are OK. My first instinct with any video is to look for a transcript. I will check again just in case there is one for this Ted talk.

Know what you mean about the way people speak being distracting. I struggle if someone uses a filler word like 'um' a lot. I quickly lose track of what they are saying. 

People have often encouraged me to stay in difficult employment situations and work through things. That's probably possible if there is a mutual commitment to continue the relationship. I find this hard.

Sometimes it feels better to invest energy in a fresh start even if the same problem may recur in the next setting. I hesitate to give advice - only you know what is right for you. 

Really important to find a workplace which is healthy for you. If we sacrifice our health for the sake of work we risk losing everything. 

If I have to, I'll play it by going sick - then looking for a way out.  I can get full pay for a month, half pay for another 5 weeks.

Closest I can imagine it to feeling like is if you have your flat burgled.  The flat is still your home, but it feels like the sanctity of it has been violated, and you never feel comfortable about it after that.

It does sound like you're reaching the end there :-(.  Probably best to try and go under your own control rather than them dumping you when it's convenient to them I guess.

Thanks, Sunflower.  It didn't go too badly.  But I still feel I need to get away from there as soon as I can.  I'm done with the place now.  I just find it stressful.  Not fun any more.

I will persevere with that video because she has some interesting things to say.  The only problem I find is that she uses the question intonation a lot, and I find that really distracting.  When I'm talking to someone who uses it, all I end up listening for is when they're going to use it, which means I'm not really focusing on what they're saying - rather, how they're saying it.  Just one of my things.  Can't help it. 

It's essentially the democracy problem - because the norms are the majority they get to decide to structure things they way they want, and if you don't fit into that then that's your problem not theirs.  And you know what they say about democracy?  It's two wolves and a lamb deciding what to have for lunch...

I've had a similar career to you - when I apply for jobs it is exhausting listing my full career history. I also get distressed thinking back to times when I was forced to leave after drawing attention to financial irregularity, bullying or disability discrimination.

Autism charities are often not autistic led, and may not have autistic CEOs, trustees and managers. Not surprisingly working environments, policies and procedures tend to favour NT strengths and preferences. 

I've got an interesting theory about ASD and Transactional Analysis in the workplace (parent:adult:child stuff) probably best shared somewhere other than this forum in an ASD only conversation :-) 

Thinking of you particularly today Tom as I know it's going to be tough going into work. Remember you are not on your own, we are all right here behind you. 

This is why I've changed jobs so many times. Almost 30 jobs in 40 years.  Didn't expect it at an autism charity,  though.