Recently diagnosed, confidence crash. What now?

Hello. Thanks for your input. I am meeting with a disability advisor at my university in a couple of weeks, and I am hoping they will arrange for me to see a mentor. From what you've said it sounds very helpful. Thanks for your insight. 

If a mentor is available then absolutely take the opportunity. One of the things you can discuss with them is confidence, how to fake it, how to project it and how to build it. (hint: succeeding at the first two of those substantially boosts the third).

I'm not sure I could describe my response to diagnosis as a loss of confidence. I did go through a period of, "Oh, so I can't actually do those things." What helped was the process of working out what I could do and how to manage the things that don't come naturally to me. Ways of avoiding situations, assessing them while they're still going on and adjusting my approach to them have all helped me function more effectively.

Those are things I'd hope a mentor could discuss with you. Just maybe not all at once :)

I've been diagnosed formally since 2013 I'm 18 now but I did have a mentor and it really helped as i was able to tell them whatever was wrong and they would give me special arrangements like if the room was too noisy then I was able to leave for 10 mins and to come back it really helped you should consider it. 

I did experience a crisis of confidence after i was diagnosed as I did not know how to tell or talk to people about it. I never really opened up about my autism till 2016 (3 years later). 

The things I found helped was: 

• Knowing my limit with noise, sight, smells and emotions. 
• Remembering everyone is different and that what makes us unique even though we are "labeled"
• Knowing that an autistic persons mind is a valuable piece of wisdom and knowledge 
• Listening to advice from doctors , therapists and pyshcoligists
• Always thinking of the positives of having the diagnosis as I see it as a super power not a flaw 

If you need anymore help then feel free to message me on this community. 

Thanks, your experience sounds quite similar to mine. I have been given a schedule of adjustments, which states that have trouble interacting with people and giving presentations (although funnily I've been told I'm good at those things). There are also modified viva guidelines here (e.g. avoid too many open-ended questions, eye contact etc, allow some extra time). I can definitely identify with what you say about not knowing when to ask for help - in my experience this is one of the hardest things, because after a while, people stop offering their help altogether, which is really not good.

Can't help with the questions, I'm still waiting for an assessment (hopefully sometime soon) but I am in a similar position in terms of uni (I'm a year into my PhD, have discussed options with disability services but can't get anything until I have a diagnosis). Mentoring is one of the things they offer too, and I can see ways it could be helpful. Particularly I'm really bad at recognising I need help when I'm stuck (and then everything ends up in a mess and everyone tells me I should have asked for help sooner and it's like ...but I didn't know I needed it) so I think it might help to have someone else on hand who can help me pick up on that better. Certainly the way it was described to me was also that they could help you work out what you needed to do for the week and things like that? So that might be helpful in terms of organisation.

There is probably more that your uni can offer though. Other things that were mentioned to me, were setting up an agreement with my department about support they can provide (e.g. closer supervision) and support for any vivas -might be worth asking your uni about these kinds of things?

You should have (or have had) a needs assessment to discuss your needs with someone before a support package is agreed and I think you have to advocate for yourself a bit. They might have a standard support package, but they should be looking at your individual needs. You could also talk with your supervisor about support they could provide; e.g. changes in the way they communicate with you, helping you find some alternative working space when your office is too much, maybe an agreement about conferences or other activities, as just a few examples (and your disability services should be happy to communicate with your supervisor on your behalf in a more official capacity if your supervisor isn't very helpful).

I was never officially diagnosed but it reared its head again in the 90's when a relative of mine was suspected of being on the spectrum. Her child now definitely is. It actually was very upsetting and really made me feel bad about myself. But I think the literature now can provide a better understanding of it. 

I think you need to remember that this is not globally 'you.' I t is one of the cards you were dealt with. And don't take any stigmatising from friends or relatives, in case this is the issue.