Beginning of the end?

Whilst replying to a thread i created the other day i heard the flap of the letterbox thud as the post dropped through the door, i try not to be afraid of the post these days, the fear of those brown envelopes is consuming and soul destroying, so i carried on replying to a complex thread, mid reply i took a pause, made a cup of tea and retrieved the post; no brown envelope, phew, a slightly chunky white one though so i opened it and as i did i saw the logo of my letting agent. my first thought was oh its that time of year again, tenancy must be up for renewal.

How wrong was i?

It was a notice to vacate my home for the past 10 years. A 'No fault eviction'. I quickly finished the reply, posted it and broke down. I spent most of my 20s homeless and living on the streets, i can't do it again at 42, i just can't.

I havn't recovered and i dont think i will. This is the time this evil tory government will introduce me to my very own cliff edge, fly lil birdie, fly.

I've been undergoing the fake 'needs assesment' process with social services and an advocate for the past year at least, i know i wont get any help from them, i will be forced onto the streets whilst they overlook the process fully aware that i have no family in the area (i live 150 miles from 'home' and not by choice, corrupt social services in my hometown forced me here to stop the systemic abuses within their facilities being further exposed, which came to light recently), i have 1 friend who is my de facto carer, who is unlikely to be able to deal with this situation, i have no 'savings'. It is also very likely i will lose my benefits which we fought hard for and were only got in january, new address = new claim now. All the avenues that people assume are available are now either controlled opposition (look into gagging clauses, DWP, esther mcvile), totally gone or are being dismantled. You have no access to the justice system, in essence, no rights. Oh and did i mention i have an auto immune condition that flares up and exacerbates my ASD and totally cabbages my brain :(  FFS

The organisations that claim to be our representitives are fully complicit in this process and i am very sure bound by similar gagging clauses within their contracts that the DWP and McVile use.

Lets be perfectly frank for a change eh?

Metrics to measure the success of a project claiming to have the best interests of people on the spectrum (or any organisation making such claims on behalf of a group) must surely include, Life Expectancy and Cause of Death.

54.Suicide. Where is the commitment to RADICALLY change that statistic? 

I'm sure its getting worse.

And not a fecking PEEP out of NAS (created in 1962 remember, so TOTALLY on their watch), no efforts to organise, no efforts to create a 'class action' case (they have a different name here which i cant recall), the Autism act isnt worth the velum its written on, its even too rough to wipe your *** with.

The only people whose lives are supported BY autism are NTs

£100 million per year. Thats just NAS.

I don't want to die, i want to live, i have a lot to give, but we are pushed that far into the periphery that there is very little chance of acceptance let alone being afforded the same chances as NTs, i hope with all my heart that i am wrong and that i will be helped but bitter experience tells me different, our lives mean *** all.

Parents
  • I cannot reply as perdu, it is pre moderated now.

    I ended up homeless and my best friend (my dog) was murdered, i'm still homeless, still autistic and still no one gives a ***. Ive lost my independence and life looks fucking bleak.

  • Perdu, i was hoping someone in a better frame of mind than I am in at present would have responded to your sad message by now. I feel lost to the world too. But to have lost a dear pet on top of your home and everything else must be so devastating. I’m so sorry to hear what you’ve been through/still are and that you have been restricted from being able to vent on the forum. Are you completely alone? If so then this space to talk must have been very important to you. Hopefully someone feeling a bit more positive will talk to you too. 

  • I actually tried to respond to your post and discovered i could no longer post without pre moderation. Its possible my reply to your thread will be allowed to go up but i doubt it.

    I didn't realise till now that I had in effect been silenced, I haven't spoken because I have been unable to.

  • They’ve already got me frozen out of most discussions. Over 6 weeks ago I sent a private email about a dodgy social worker to the forum moderator. Blow me if that person didn’t blow up publicly on the forum to a private discreet email she should never have seen almost straight away when the office was shut anyway! And people were Private Messaging and being urged to join in whatever it was they were keep to spread rather urgently! Dodgy social worker admitted it was her, next thing I knew that post and others of hers were removed. So it’s all pretty dodgy really. Worst thing of all is that we apparently don’t exist. Nonpersons. Mind you, I’m happier to be an independent nonperson who is on the spectrum than hanging on to dodgy supports. I await my execution with mounting excitement. 

Reply
  • They’ve already got me frozen out of most discussions. Over 6 weeks ago I sent a private email about a dodgy social worker to the forum moderator. Blow me if that person didn’t blow up publicly on the forum to a private discreet email she should never have seen almost straight away when the office was shut anyway! And people were Private Messaging and being urged to join in whatever it was they were keep to spread rather urgently! Dodgy social worker admitted it was her, next thing I knew that post and others of hers were removed. So it’s all pretty dodgy really. Worst thing of all is that we apparently don’t exist. Nonpersons. Mind you, I’m happier to be an independent nonperson who is on the spectrum than hanging on to dodgy supports. I await my execution with mounting excitement. 

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