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Is ADHD really a separate thing or is it really just Autism?

Xanadu

Hello

I am newly diagnosed at 43 with both ASD and ADHD.

Steep learning curve for me.  I also have 6 neurodiverse children.  Some are ASD and some are ADHD.  Some are both.  All are one or the other or both.

So I have the luxury (yes it's a luxury) of seeing how neurodiversity affects many people in many ways.  They are all different.

As a result of studying my children and also reflecting upon myself.  I have started to wonder if ASD and ADHD are actually two separate things or that actually the 'definition' of ASD is actually much wider and the docs have it wrong!  Cheeky of me I know to suggest that lots of doctors might be wrong (ducks for cover).

So my kids diagnosed with ADHD only have all the ASD markers (if you like) they just have better eye contact and appear to have better social skills.  In ADHD, Lot's of talking can appear like 'social skills' but often it is not very social at all.  Being able to make friends fairly easily but those friendships ending quickly or ending in disaster is not necessarily indicative of no impairment in social skills!  Actually though they are just much better at masking than some of my children who present more typically as Autistic.  I wonder then if there is an issue with the diagnostic threshold to be honest.

All of my ADHD kids have impairments in executive function, sensory issues (some severe), perception and mild issues with motor skills.  Language is fairly good though.  Too much language in fact which can be a difficulty in itself.

The "you can make eye contact, you cannot be Autistic" thing drives me nuts so I'm not even going to go there.  So many poor souls have been written off and are out there right now struggling with Autism because of this nonsense.  I can make eye contact myself, just that it hurts and I try not to or don't for long.  I am still Autistic.

So I'm interested in what other Autistics might think about this.  This is not just about children either.  I am speaking generally about people, adults and children.  

Is ADHD and ASD really two different things - or are they really both just Autism? What do you guys think?

Parents

  • I'm autistic and work with students with an SpLD, inc those with ADHD. I have many ADHD students who are able to maintain friendships and have excellent social skills, inc taking on management roles alongside their studies. This leads me to believe they can be separate diagnoses. 

    Could the challenges that your children are facing be learnt behaviour from having an autistic parents and siblings? It could also be a misdiagnosis and if fact they are on the milder end of the autistic spectrum. I only had an SpLD diagnosis for ten years before autism was added to the mix.

Reply

  • I'm autistic and work with students with an SpLD, inc those with ADHD. I have many ADHD students who are able to maintain friendships and have excellent social skills, inc taking on management roles alongside their studies. This leads me to believe they can be separate diagnoses. 

    Could the challenges that your children are facing be learnt behaviour from having an autistic parents and siblings? It could also be a misdiagnosis and if fact they are on the milder end of the autistic spectrum. I only had an SpLD diagnosis for ten years before autism was added to the mix.

Children
  • in reply to NAS24859

    Out of interest please if you don't mind, because this has become a bit of a special interest for me.  Those children that you mention who have excellent social skills etc.  What type of ADHD do they have?  Do they have the PI type?  The inattentive type.  What was previously thought of as ADD? Or do they have combined or hyperactive/impulsive type.

    Possibly could be learnt behaviour.  That is painful to think about and I think I avoid thinking about it!  I get a bit defensive as well because society likes to 'blame parents' for ADHD and chalk it up to 'bad parenting' - especially professional type people who really don't understand it in the main.  But! it's a valid point.  I don't think so though because if docs were suspicious of that they would have flagged it up and I've have been sent on parenting courses before you could say "horrible documentary on ADHD on channel *beep* LOL. 

    I had someone very senior in the NHS go on record once to say that she has never seen any one person manage the needs that my children have with such amazing understanding and has never seen anything like it before - so I reckon going by what she says I'm safe! lol

    At the same time I am no Mary Poppins as a mother.  I would probably be an awful mother to NT children.  I asked the consultant who diagnosed me if my Autism could affect my children in a bad way.  She said that actually when diagnosing children the first hurdle she has is getting the parents to think in a more neurodiverse way and that with me there is not that bridge to cross so in her mind it was probably a good thing for my particular set of children.

    None of mine have behaviour issues, at least not since medication and since  I had them placed in the right school environments.  So I reckon if their issues were mental health or due to upbringing/poor parenting or environment then medication would not work for them.  Medication for ADHD as you know is an amphetamine type drug and if you don't have ADHD it affects you very differently.  By virtue of that I'm thinking that the diagnosis is accurate and not environmental.

    I could be wrong though, because my heart doesn't want to believe that I have caused their difficulties!!  More than by passing on the genes anyway.

    I'm quite sure that an ignorant and bad minded social worker could 'run' with the theory that my children have 'learnt' their ASD/ADHD from me and that my own ASD/ADHD is some kind of new age 'emotional abuse' if they were bad minded enough - in 17 years though no one has had the cheek to say it to my face and long may that continue for the sake of them!  I suspect because professionals say that my kids are 'nice kids' and 'happy' that they would struggle to get anyone to back up this idea!

    Also these kids are older and are able to talk about their own fairly severe sensory issues and general issues with concentration and organisation which makes me think that they are genuine.

    I myself am an odd one as I am super organised, clean and tidy and usually you find the opposite in ADHD.  If this was all learnt then you'd think that they would be the same!  They are NOT!  The ADHD ones are messy and untidy and quite happy to sit in it Smile So if it is all learnt - that bit got lost somewhere along the way - LOOOOL x

    One ADHD child has SPLD and ADHD - she is dyslexic and has dyscalculia.

    I suspect that yes the ones with ADHD are on the milder end of the ASD spectrum and I wouldn't bother pursuing diagnosis as I don't think any doc would be brave enough to diagnose to be honest.  Not necessary either at this point.

    Would be very interested to know though about the type of ADHD your kids have.  I heard somewhere that PI type ADHD is the least aligned to ASD for some scientific reason I can't remember now.