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Hello again... my story!

Lou13

*deep breath*

Female, 40s, currently self-diagnosed but have submitted the AQ-10 with assistance of a counsellor.  First counsellor I spoke to refused to refer me for assessment  insisted that I couldn't be autistic as I 'demonstrate empathy and autistic people don't have empathy' - but this baffles me, especially as all I've seen on this forum is empathy!  I've been told by an acquaintance that I don't seem to be empathetic but I think that's because of the issues I have with social interaction in general, as I find it easier to express myself in writing as I have more time and liberty to engage my thoughts and responses.

Ways in which I've been described since childhood -

awkward, introverted, weird, fussy, pedantic, highly strung, reserved, disengaged, detached, blunt, abrupt, cold, stress, set in my ways...

My school reports all state 'has intelligence / ability but lacks concentration and application.... daydreams... easily distracted..'

Have always been in employment (more or less same job with same company) but haven't moved up the ladder as, however good my productivity is rated, i'm told that my 'behaviours' aren't acceptable (though I am only given vague, if any, feedback on what these 'behaviours' are).  Have been refused even a conversation wrt reasonable adjustments.

Can't maintain friendships or relationships; can't bear to be around people beyond the point where I'm 'done'.

There's more but my defective keyboard is driving me into a murderous rage!

Parents

  • welcome, join the lovely bunch of people on here. I am told by people I am very empathetic..I kinda don't always necessarily feel I am myself, but am beginning to understated that whilst  i don't do the whole overt "strokey strokey huggy" empathy, I do the good listener and often practical advice type. I too find it much easier to express myself in writing.

    Words from your list that apply to me...awkward, introverted, fussy, weird, pedantic, reserved, detached, blunt, set in my ways...yep, and I could come up with a load more as well! 

    And turn some of them round.....pedantic=good attention to detail; blunt=honest; set in my ways=reliable

Reply

  • welcome, join the lovely bunch of people on here. I am told by people I am very empathetic..I kinda don't always necessarily feel I am myself, but am beginning to understated that whilst  i don't do the whole overt "strokey strokey huggy" empathy, I do the good listener and often practical advice type. I too find it much easier to express myself in writing.

    Words from your list that apply to me...awkward, introverted, fussy, weird, pedantic, reserved, detached, blunt, set in my ways...yep, and I could come up with a load more as well! 

    And turn some of them round.....pedantic=good attention to detail; blunt=honest; set in my ways=reliable

Children
  • in reply to Bagpuss7

    Hi tfw7 and thank you!

    I always try to counter the 'blunt' accusation with "I deal in honesty, truth, logic and openness and I prefer people to know where they stand with me as that's what I need from others" but I guess it falls on deaf ears when dealing with those who operate on a more underhand level, especially in my workplace. I accept that I'm abrupt when interrupted but it's because I need to be engossed to do tasks and it then takes me so long to recalibrate and 'get back in the zone'.