Hello again... my story!

Thanks Andy! I'll have a read of that now.

My short-term memory is garbage but I recall my response to the counsellor as being "I'm potentially HFA, not a bloody sociopath" 

Lou13 said:

First counsellor I spoke to refused to refer me for assessment  insisted that I couldn't be autistic as I 'demonstrate empathy and autistic people don't have empathy'

Well - according to the Autism Research Centre (Simon Baron-Cohen leading light in the field) empathy is present in some form in an autistic person.

Empathy in autism spectrum conditions

It is there and can be detected through physical measurements of reactions within the body.

And I also know that I have empathy with other autistic people as I can directly relate to many of their experiences and challenges.  A lot of people in this forum demonstrate this on a regular basis - as we are best placed to be the ones providing advice and/or feedback.

Like you, I tick most of the boxes from your list.

Welcome to the forum.

Hi tfw7 and thank you!

I always try to counter the 'blunt' accusation with "I deal in honesty, truth, logic and openness and I prefer people to know where they stand with me as that's what I need from others" but I guess it falls on deaf ears when dealing with those who operate on a more underhand level, especially in my workplace. I accept that I'm abrupt when interrupted but it's because I need to be engossed to do tasks and it then takes me so long to recalibrate and 'get back in the zone'. 

Haha thanks Lonewarrior and don't worry, I'm a rambler too when I get going (and have a working keyboard! I've given up and gone back to the trusty phone)

I know what you mean about wanting to reply and offer support to posts on here then tying oneself up in knots if the mental mechanics aren't conducive and it's something I struggle with in work too, as I'm in an analysis / support type role where I'm relied upon to move things along to result or resolution. The weight of expectation, whether self or organisation imposed, can be suffocating. 

welcome, join the lovely bunch of people on here. I am told by people I am very empathetic..I kinda don't always necessarily feel I am myself, but am beginning to understated that whilst  i don't do the whole overt "strokey strokey huggy" empathy, I do the good listener and often practical advice type. I too find it much easier to express myself in writing.

Words from your list that apply to me...awkward, introverted, fussy, weird, pedantic, reserved, detached, blunt, set in my ways...yep, and I could come up with a load more as well! 

And turn some of them round.....pedantic=good attention to detail; blunt=honest; set in my ways=reliable

Hi Lou13, your observations are correct the people on here are extremely empathetic, although putting it in to action other than words or sharing thoughts is where it seems to falter. Not meaning to sound horrible just a fact, I cannot always help, I worry yes, I lose sleep worrying, but feel unable to give my emotional energy especially if I am at a low myself.

I have extreme empathic feelings, even if I see a post that is asking for help for a serious issue  and it hasn’t been replied to my anxiety levels rise as I worry for the poster, I don’t have the ability to find and give links to relevant information. My memory is bad and what is available is often mixed up and fragmented, I hope one of the members who can relate the information or indeed someone who has experience themselves comes along and gives what advice they can.

so yes empathy is real here!

some manage to flick a switch and step up with lots of useful links and resources, others have prior experience and offer that as a possible answer.

There are a few who empathise so very much they end up exhausted doing what ever it takes to give support and guidance, then the inevitable burn out, it takes it’s toll, 

As for school reports, mine were similar, day dreaming,,has ability but doesn’t seem to want to use it, great athlete but never seems interested, in a world of his own, one teacher told my parents my theme tune should be “ busy doing nothing, whiling the whole day through. I hid the fact I just couldn’t understand it all, I was not bullied, a rare thing, I had an older brother who mixed with the tough kids, so safe by association, I was considered tough? No idea why as I never tried to be tough, the odd word but no anger or violence ever. If a fight was arranged to sort me out,,,being a “ untouchable” I just waited until they hit me and I would hang on until they gave in, never ever did I hit anyone, not once, and I never got beat up. I would reason the fight was a waste of time whilst holding them down until finally they just gave in. 

Also been in the same job thirty plus years, moved up but still pretty much manual work, admin is getting more and more, I fall flat, I am way behind right now and yes it is stressing me out, 

I will end up doing an all nighter to catch up, full focus, once I get going I cannot stop..

anyway I hope your keyboard sorts itself out. Apologies for rambling, I don’t post much often but as I say, once I get going I just keep going.