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Help for adults in their 40s.

Henry

I need a little advice on two related questions.

1) I'm 43 and was diagnosed with ASD and ADHD last November. I'm working, but I'm a college drop-out and have no academic qualifications. The company I've been with for the past 18 years is closing soon, and I don't know what to do next. I would have liked to study for a degree when I was younger, but without a diagnosis or any help and support for my two conditions it just never happened. I'm intelligent but always had trouble focusing and getting organised in a classroom setting. Is there any help for people like me to become a student again or is it too late for me?

2) My brother is 40. He lives with our parents and has literally no social friends. He rarely leaves the house and spends most of his time in his bedroom. He doesn't work or claim benefits. I think he claimed benefits for a little while in his early 20s but stopped when they were hassling him about getting a job. He hasn't been diagnosed, and my parents do not seem interested in finding out if he's also on the spectrum - even though they know I have a diagnosis. I'm reluctant even to have had the conversation with them because I've got enough on my plate as it is. Plus, I'm not close to my parents. What help, if any, is available for him?

Parents

  • There isn't really a lot for adults in their 40s. A psychologist told me that ASD in older (above 30?) people isn't well understood and is further complicated by diversity in many variables whereas for school aged children there is more similarity surrounding what they are doing and how they are supposed to relate with their peer group etc. Adults are further complicated by the fact that they could have had difficult childhoods due to lack of recognition of their condition or support.

    Adults who are more successful in their career or in family life, or both, generally seek less help and support than those who aren't so are rarely available as subjects for research. As a general rule of thumb, you are expected to be employed, married, and a homeowner (or mortgage payer) at the age of 40 and also a member of the gym.

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  • There isn't really a lot for adults in their 40s. A psychologist told me that ASD in older (above 30?) people isn't well understood and is further complicated by diversity in many variables whereas for school aged children there is more similarity surrounding what they are doing and how they are supposed to relate with their peer group etc. Adults are further complicated by the fact that they could have had difficult childhoods due to lack of recognition of their condition or support.

    Adults who are more successful in their career or in family life, or both, generally seek less help and support than those who aren't so are rarely available as subjects for research. As a general rule of thumb, you are expected to be employed, married, and a homeowner (or mortgage payer) at the age of 40 and also a member of the gym.

Children