helping teenagers to develop everyday skills

Hello again Pauli,

As you said in my thread, your son and I are very similar and I can totally relate to everything you just said.

Primary school was great. A small country primary with nice teachers and kids. Secondary school from day 1, I really hated. I had the option to go to a smaller school when I couldn’t cope with mainstream schooling. It was decided that I would be better off in mainstream as I would eventually get used to it. I wish I had gone there it would have helped me so much, school was just as bad right up to my last day.

School for me was totally different from everything else. Kids are (and were then too!) a total mystery of random thoughts and behaviours. People used to say I was born a 40 year old as I am so sensible and logical.  As soon as I left school and everyone started to mature it was so much easier. Friends went to uni and I used to visit them a lot. I didn’t have any problems with that at all. It was busy and loud but I could still get on with it as people were a bit more intellectual.

Pauli said:

I have been taking him on bus journeys and train journeys in an attempt to help him get used to public places. He is trying so hard but it stresses him out so much. 

That is a great sign. Like me, I wanted to do these things and tried really hard to do them. I have been doing that since I was his age and It has really paid off. It has helped me manage my stress levels no end. As KaloJaro said if you are  going on these journeys make sure you have a goal that’s clear from the start and stick to it. Its so stressful when you don’t know what’s going on. Its one of the worst occasions for me personally. I used to plan out my trips. walk to the station to get the 11:15 train, I would need to know what stops are along the way so I know I am not going to miss my stop (I am still convinced I am going to miss my stop everything I get a bus or train), then what shops I want to go to get what it is I want and the train times for coming home.

Even now I cant really use buses. For some reason I cant understand bus time  tables, I have zero sense of direction and I cannot remember place names so they really scare me! I don’t think I will ever get over that.

I think you are totally doing the right thing. I would suggest, once he feels ready, you could ask him to go get something for you. Maybe just a single train stop away. he could go with friends too. explain what you want, where to get it from and what time the trains are. 

Hello again Pauli,

As you said in my thread, your son and I are very similar and I can totally relate to everything you just said.

Primary school was great. A small country primary with nice teachers and kids. Secondary school from day 1, I really hated. I had the option to go to a smaller school when I couldn’t cope with mainstream schooling. It was decided that I would be better off in mainstream as I would eventually get used to it. I wish I had gone there it would have helped me so much, school was just as bad right up to my last day.

School for me was totally different from everything else. Kids are (and were then too!) a total mystery of random thoughts and behaviours. People used to say I was born a 40 year old as I am so sensible and logical.  As soon as I left school and everyone started to mature it was so much easier. Friends went to uni and I used to visit them a lot. I didn’t have any problems with that at all. It was busy and loud but I could still get on with it as people were a bit more intellectual.

Pauli said:

I have been taking him on bus journeys and train journeys in an attempt to help him get used to public places. He is trying so hard but it stresses him out so much. 

That is a great sign. Like me, I wanted to do these things and tried really hard to do them. I have been doing that since I was his age and It has really paid off. It has helped me manage my stress levels no end. As KaloJaro said if you are  going on these journeys make sure you have a goal that’s clear from the start and stick to it. Its so stressful when you don’t know what’s going on. Its one of the worst occasions for me personally. I used to plan out my trips. walk to the station to get the 11:15 train, I would need to know what stops are along the way so I know I am not going to miss my stop (I am still convinced I am going to miss my stop everything I get a bus or train), then what shops I want to go to get what it is I want and the train times for coming home.

Even now I cant really use buses. For some reason I cant understand bus time  tables, I have zero sense of direction and I cannot remember place names so they really scare me! I don’t think I will ever get over that.

I think you are totally doing the right thing. I would suggest, once he feels ready, you could ask him to go get something for you. Maybe just a single train stop away. he could go with friends too. explain what you want, where to get it from and what time the trains are.