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helping teenagers to develop everyday skills

Pauli

Hi

My son is 15 and was diagnosed with Aspergers at 9. Secondary school has proved difficult for him. He suffered severe depression and was suicidal last year.After input from the Psychiatrist and a year out at a small private school my son has decided that he wants to try mainstream secondary again as he wants to go to uni and knows that he needs to get used to bigger,noisier environments. I have been taking him on bus journeys and train journeys in an attempt to help him get used to public places. He is trying so hard but it stresses him out so much. The mum side of me just wants to say " sod it! I am not going to put my "baby" through this !" But the more sensible side tells me I should be helping him to cope with it all. Am I doing too much too soon? Should I just leave it for now? Any advice gratefully received.

Parents

  • I don't know how widely applicable this is as I am at the mild end, and I realise environments can have severe impact on some.

    Nevertheless I have found some value in evaluating environments to see what it is that affects me, and what part of an environment might be easier to cope with (compromise).

    Obviously at 15 that might be asking a lot for your son, but I do wonder, if helped to do so, confronting difficult environments and working out their adverse points might be beneficial.

    The danger is people just avoid all adverse environments where possible, and that is very limiting and leads to avoidance of less difficult environments in case they get worse.

    For example, and I've included this in posts on other threads, I've sat in a supermarket and tried to work out what is worst. The hazards are the tills beeping, especially at the small number of items or self service end, the fridges humming, near the entrance, and certain areas where peiople tend to congregate and congest the walkways. I can chart a way through the maze and still use a supermarket comfortably.

    I have a lot of bother with things happening near the periphery of my vision, converging traffic (especially at night or in the rain with headlights, or non-dipped headlights) and the noise of engines and horns. Or in crowded shopping malls where people are crossing my path etc. If I find such a situation difficult stopping and facing the main source for a bit is easier and more relaxing, and enables me to carry on.

    Knowing what environmental situations affect you badly means you can plan around them. Also it is worth working out your tolerance range. If you can stand five minutes in a noisy environment that might be enough to do what you need to do; another area you might be OK for 20 minutes, then get stressed.

    Hope this helps, but as I say not sure how applicable these ideas are from my abler standpoint.

Reply

  • I don't know how widely applicable this is as I am at the mild end, and I realise environments can have severe impact on some.

    Nevertheless I have found some value in evaluating environments to see what it is that affects me, and what part of an environment might be easier to cope with (compromise).

    Obviously at 15 that might be asking a lot for your son, but I do wonder, if helped to do so, confronting difficult environments and working out their adverse points might be beneficial.

    The danger is people just avoid all adverse environments where possible, and that is very limiting and leads to avoidance of less difficult environments in case they get worse.

    For example, and I've included this in posts on other threads, I've sat in a supermarket and tried to work out what is worst. The hazards are the tills beeping, especially at the small number of items or self service end, the fridges humming, near the entrance, and certain areas where peiople tend to congregate and congest the walkways. I can chart a way through the maze and still use a supermarket comfortably.

    I have a lot of bother with things happening near the periphery of my vision, converging traffic (especially at night or in the rain with headlights, or non-dipped headlights) and the noise of engines and horns. Or in crowded shopping malls where people are crossing my path etc. If I find such a situation difficult stopping and facing the main source for a bit is easier and more relaxing, and enables me to carry on.

    Knowing what environmental situations affect you badly means you can plan around them. Also it is worth working out your tolerance range. If you can stand five minutes in a noisy environment that might be enough to do what you need to do; another area you might be OK for 20 minutes, then get stressed.

    Hope this helps, but as I say not sure how applicable these ideas are from my abler standpoint.

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