Going through the process of getting diagnosed - worried

Hi,

I got a diagnosis last year at 33. I found the process a little long winded (Took around a year from the very first appointment to the final diagnosis) but well worth it,

Some of the points I found to be the most important for me, and why I would recommend the experience:

• It tied together so many loose ends that didn't make sense on their own, and gave me a point to start looking at adapting my world, rather than treating my issues like an illness or depression,
• I learned how I appear to others - part of the diagnosis was looking at eye movements, how I responded, how I deal with feelings and issues, in a way that I felt comfortable with. I have spent so much time and so much energy in fitting in every day, it was very interesting to have someone trained, assessing the 'hidden' me, and being perfectly ok with it,
• I got validation for myself, and a belief that I do not have to pretend to fit in, and I have a right to be allowed to be myself. Its not an issue that I do not understand how people are feeling, or if they are joking or being serious. And now I have a way of explaining why I am confused, rather than pretending I am not and feeling lonely amongst people
• I got to attend a great 6 part course with 7 other ASD diagnosed people that opened my eyes and allowed me to share things I am just not able to with even my closest family - It was very cathartic, and it has helped me to start to come to terms with some of the ways I struggle with my wife and kids, and also how to explain it to them
• I was able to have an appointment where I took someone close to me (I took my wife) and the doctor was able to see how we function together, and how we both impact on each other. It was amazing for my wife as well, as the doctor was able to help explain much more eloquently than I ever can, and suggest different ways to do things.

Also, what I have found the most important - I have learned that I am part of a group where we are all as different to each other as everyone else is. I am not a person with something missing, but someone just wired a little different, and although I have many issues and struggles, I am ok with being me, and as long as I know that, I can get by.

(Also I have found it feels good to write stuff down!)

Hi,

I got a diagnosis last year at 33. I found the process a little long winded (Took around a year from the very first appointment to the final diagnosis) but well worth it,

Some of the points I found to be the most important for me, and why I would recommend the experience:

• It tied together so many loose ends that didn't make sense on their own, and gave me a point to start looking at adapting my world, rather than treating my issues like an illness or depression,
• I learned how I appear to others - part of the diagnosis was looking at eye movements, how I responded, how I deal with feelings and issues, in a way that I felt comfortable with. I have spent so much time and so much energy in fitting in every day, it was very interesting to have someone trained, assessing the 'hidden' me, and being perfectly ok with it,
• I got validation for myself, and a belief that I do not have to pretend to fit in, and I have a right to be allowed to be myself. Its not an issue that I do not understand how people are feeling, or if they are joking or being serious. And now I have a way of explaining why I am confused, rather than pretending I am not and feeling lonely amongst people
• I got to attend a great 6 part course with 7 other ASD diagnosed people that opened my eyes and allowed me to share things I am just not able to with even my closest family - It was very cathartic, and it has helped me to start to come to terms with some of the ways I struggle with my wife and kids, and also how to explain it to them
• I was able to have an appointment where I took someone close to me (I took my wife) and the doctor was able to see how we function together, and how we both impact on each other. It was amazing for my wife as well, as the doctor was able to help explain much more eloquently than I ever can, and suggest different ways to do things.

Also, what I have found the most important - I have learned that I am part of a group where we are all as different to each other as everyone else is. I am not a person with something missing, but someone just wired a little different, and although I have many issues and struggles, I am ok with being me, and as long as I know that, I can get by.

(Also I have found it feels good to write stuff down!)

Thank you for your reply

one of the things that is putting me off and wanting to pull out is the length of time and this is one of the things you have confirmed. I am also concerned about what you have said with regards to finding out how others see you, that really worries me.

i think where you said about been yourself is great as that’s all I want but can’t see that happening, I think it is because I have put on an act for so long. I am also not sure who to take with me as I haven’t told anybody about my referral 

i totally agree with writing things down, I write things down a lot and draw diagrams / flow charts to get my head round things 

x