knowing the unknown - new diagnosis

No problem, I'm almost certain you're right that it is due to still being unsure  when I got my diagnosis I was doing solid research for ages too. I think it's not uncommon to react that way! x

Hi Emma, 

Thank you so much for that! 

I shall take a read over a few forums, also i found a couple of facebook groups too, one for women and one for both men and women on the spectrum. 

i shall also download the pdf book you've attached and give it a read.

I am the type of person that knows whats going on in my life and if im faced with something im unsure of i really try hard to know more. so im hoping the feeling im having now are simply due to the fact i dont know much about it and its all new still.

thank you for taking the time to reply 

Liz

Hi Liz, welcome to the forum!

Re. "Right now I am struggling with the 'no cure' concept. This to me says life will always be a struggle and i'm not sure i can accept that.", I would say that feeling probably has a lot to do with the process of diagnosis and should fade in time.

It's always a shake-up when you find out something new, plus the context you have encountered autism in most lately is as a 'condition to be diagnosed', which automatically casts it in a negative light. What the medical context rarely adequately highlights is the positive side of the autistic brain; the unique perspective from which we perceive the world and the talents and positive traits we can possess as a result of the way we are differently wired. 

Yes, some things are more difficult for some people and the diagnosis has highlighted that for you right now, but the good thing about the diagnosis is that you can now;
* Understand why you find the things you do hard and so (hopefully) take the pressure off yourself a bit; you're not "the smartest dumb person ever"- you're autistic! That in itself is a great thing to know. 
* More easily find strategies that work for you to improve things you find difficult, either from research into things that have worked for other autistic people or just from having and applying that greater self-understanding.
* Feel less alone. For my part I have found a real sense of belonging with other autistic people, online and IRL (most of my close friends and my partner are on the spectrum, though I obviously didn't know when I first met them- I just seem to naturally gravitate to other autistic folk!). 

Here is a pdf of a book that really helped me understand more about autism and myself as an autistic person when I was first diagnosed;
http://www.autismforthvalley.co.uk/files/5314/4595/7798/Attwood-Tony-The-Complete-Guide-to-Aspergers-Syndrome.pdf 

I think this "i just need to find myself and know myself a little better, rather than wishing i was like someone else" is spot on!

I hope you find answers, acceptance and understanding here x

oh my goodness, i completely forgot to say the point of this thread, gosh!

I was meant to include,

ASD being questioned was ok in some way, things made sense but since my diagnosis, basically making things definitive, i feel like somethings changed. This i feel uncomfortable with, almost like ignorance was bliss. Even though it was far from bliss 

Sometimes easier said than done but we can but try

oh, that is a good point. I actually have no come back for that because you're right 

I think everyone, autistic or not, can stand to gain from showing themselves a little more love and acceptance. The analogy I was given by someone was that if a toddler didn't do a very good job with a task, you would't be really harsh on them, you would be kind and encouraging. So why do we beat ourselves up so badly?

I shall write a list of things i enjoy and do well and focus on those. Its all advice, even if you just suggest what not to do, it helps. I think i just need to find myself and know myself a little better, rather than wishing i was like someone else. Perhaps then things will be easier? 

Hello Liz. I don't know if i cope well enough socially myself to give any advice other than if you find yourself in the majority with anything in life, you are usually doing something wrong. I know that isn't always a consolation when you are wanting to feel a connection with someone but its not us that need to change. I recently went through some counselling sessions which were based around focusing on the things I do well rather than things that I struggle with. It certainly put me in a more positive frame of mind.