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Support for an Autistic Friend

NAS38496

Hi,

One of my closest friends has been diagnosed as autistic. I don't know much about autism, and so I've been reading up on it on this website and others. My question is, how is the best way to support my friend? 

Thanks for any replies!

Parents

  • I think the answer depends mostly on your friend, and partly on you. What I might personally appreciate after my diagnosis as an adult is:

    • a chance to talk through things in general one-to-one, on a walk or over a cup of tea
    • not avoiding the topic, or dismissing any subject I raise, but trying to understand
    • 'active listening', that is listening, and checking you've understood correctly
    • prompting with certain questions: 'are there incidents in your past that this helps explain?'
    • try to avoid 'normalising' with things like 'everyone gets that'. They probably don't, or not in the same way. Also not necessarily applying stereotypes of autism.
    • it's pretty confusing getting the diagnosis, so it would be good to be asked what it means to me  - what are the 'features' of autism that most concern me
    • what is it I'm still going to find difficult?
    • is it appropriate to act as an advocate in some situations I can't cope with myself, either social situations or bureaucracy?
    • is there anyone else I want to understand this, or you could help me explain to?
    • are there any services available?
    • Possibly accompanying me to some autism-related event, which could help you understand too.
Reply

  • I think the answer depends mostly on your friend, and partly on you. What I might personally appreciate after my diagnosis as an adult is:

    • a chance to talk through things in general one-to-one, on a walk or over a cup of tea
    • not avoiding the topic, or dismissing any subject I raise, but trying to understand
    • 'active listening', that is listening, and checking you've understood correctly
    • prompting with certain questions: 'are there incidents in your past that this helps explain?'
    • try to avoid 'normalising' with things like 'everyone gets that'. They probably don't, or not in the same way. Also not necessarily applying stereotypes of autism.
    • it's pretty confusing getting the diagnosis, so it would be good to be asked what it means to me  - what are the 'features' of autism that most concern me
    • what is it I'm still going to find difficult?
    • is it appropriate to act as an advocate in some situations I can't cope with myself, either social situations or bureaucracy?
    • is there anyone else I want to understand this, or you could help me explain to?
    • are there any services available?
    • Possibly accompanying me to some autism-related event, which could help you understand too.
Children
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