Support for an Autistic Friend

I would advice not to change your behaviour on how you treating the friend. A slight change may make them feel like outcast. You know the condition but please make them to feel safe, not different and they will accept their situation in the long run. Make them to feel like family and not differently after the diagnosis

I think the answer depends mostly on your friend, and partly on you. What I might personally appreciate after my diagnosis as an adult is:

• a chance to talk through things in general one-to-one, on a walk or over a cup of tea
• not avoiding the topic, or dismissing any subject I raise, but trying to understand
• 'active listening', that is listening, and checking you've understood correctly
• prompting with certain questions: 'are there incidents in your past that this helps explain?'
• try to avoid 'normalising' with things like 'everyone gets that'. They probably don't, or not in the same way. Also not necessarily applying stereotypes of autism.
• it's pretty confusing getting the diagnosis, so it would be good to be asked what it means to me  - what are the 'features' of autism that most concern me
• what is it I'm still going to find difficult?
• is it appropriate to act as an advocate in some situations I can't cope with myself, either social situations or bureaucracy?
• is there anyone else I want to understand this, or you could help me explain to?
• are there any services available?
• Possibly accompanying me to some autism-related event, which could help you understand too.

Aww! What a caring friend you are to go off and do your research like this. 

So, as autism is a lifelong condition, your friend is exactly the same person post-diagnosis as before. They have always been autistic, you just didn't have a label for it, and they always will be. 

You don't have to treat them any differently now (and it might worry them if you did), but there are some things you can just make sure you're aware of in order to effectively support them.

* First, super easy thing; your friend might be quite worried that they may be treated differently or even shunned due to their diagnosis; make it clear by your actions that this isn't the case and that you still have the same friendship as ever!

* Also if they are finding their diagnosis hard to accept or struggling with getting the right support, be ready to be a listening ear or a source of practical help, if your friend would like you to be so (ask if/how you can help! We don't always pick up on subtle offers ^^').

* Your friend might be hyper-sensitive to and dislike any number of sensory stimuli in the environment; things like bright lights, loud noises or crowds. They might also feel they have to put up with these things for the sake of the people they're with, if it's in a place you're visiting together. If you notice your friend getting uncomfortable in certain situations, you could suggest going somewhere more peaceful.

* Autistic people tend to find sudden changes to schedule/uncertainty in general hard to deal with. If you're arranging something they're involved in, try to plan it in advance as much as possible and keep them in the loop about what's going on. They will thank you for it!

* Be prepared to give your friend space if/when they need it. Even autistic extroverts (of which I am one) generally need regular people-free time to recharge their batteries. It's not being antisocial, it's just getting mentally ready to hang out later!
Keep offering to spend time together without being pushy even if your invitations are sometimes rejected and you will find a balance (though I suspect you've known this person long enough to do that already).

Feel free to ask anything you need to here!

Emma x