self employed autistic and looking for nice girlfriend

Nick said:

if anyone has some tips they would be greatly appreciated

I wish I had. I'd be interested in what other people, men and women, have to say about your question. I'm more than twice your age, have had nice girlfriends in the past, but still find meeting someone really difficult. Once I get to know someone it's a lot easier.

You will probably need to keep trying to develop your social skills in any way possible, and be prepared for many setbacks. Ask your friends and family for suggestions, or if appropriate to try setting you up with someone.

Nick said:

an impossible feat

If you're a straight autistic man, it can be very difficult, but not impossible. I know a surprising number of autistic people with autistic partners, presumably partly because it's difficult to get a non-autistic person to understand. Some people do find social awkwardness off-putting, but others seem to find it endearing. Overcoming shyness is a big problem.

Nick said:

I am alright looking

Good, but I don't think it's about that, at least not for long-term relationships. However, there are probably things you can do to improve your chances on the appearance front. Firstly, work out. That doesn't require gym membership, and fitness is good anyway. Secondly, be clean and smart. I get different reactions from women depending on whether I'm wearing a baggy T-shirt or a casual suit.

Being fun, kind and confident are more important... getting more experience, including of just trying, helps.

Nick said:

I have been watching a lot of cold approach videos they get their number, I am thinking of trying to do that

I've never tried that. I wouldn't want to put you off though, as you might learn something that way. A friend met his wife from just asking lots of women.

Try not to mull over things. Just move on. I'd been told by an older woman not to be 'too fussy', or to get obsessed with one person: the more people you ask, the better chance you have. There may well be things you can learn to try from such videos, but they're only a little part of the story.

Nick said:

I tried online dating that was a huge waste of time got into a few conversations but they never wanted to actually meet

I wouldn't give up on that. I met someone that way. Maybe it wasn't a waste of time even if you didn't, as it's a safe way of experimenting. Do you have any idea why they didn't want to meet? Sense of humour may be important here.

Do try to do more social stuff you're interested in, as you might meet someone that way who has an interest in common. Have you tried any meetup.com groups in your area?

Nick said:

when are you meant to kiss her ?

I don't think that's been a problem for me, but then I don't think I have a problem non-verbal signals. If you've been getting on well and are alone and looking at each other and conversation falls silent and there's a moment of connection.... You can ask, I suppose. Move slowly. If you're aiming for the lips, and she turns her head away, that's a 'no', for now at least.

Nick said:

I also have no idea how to tell if  a girl is into me or just wants to be friends

Those aren't alternatives, despite what you may hear. 'Just' 'friends' is great. For me, love is about seeing the good in someone, maybe in their heart or soul. You don't know when that will happen.

Nick said:

if anyone has some tips they would be greatly appreciated

I wish I had. I'd be interested in what other people, men and women, have to say about your question. I'm more than twice your age, have had nice girlfriends in the past, but still find meeting someone really difficult. Once I get to know someone it's a lot easier.

You will probably need to keep trying to develop your social skills in any way possible, and be prepared for many setbacks. Ask your friends and family for suggestions, or if appropriate to try setting you up with someone.

Nick said:

an impossible feat

If you're a straight autistic man, it can be very difficult, but not impossible. I know a surprising number of autistic people with autistic partners, presumably partly because it's difficult to get a non-autistic person to understand. Some people do find social awkwardness off-putting, but others seem to find it endearing. Overcoming shyness is a big problem.

Nick said:

I am alright looking

Good, but I don't think it's about that, at least not for long-term relationships. However, there are probably things you can do to improve your chances on the appearance front. Firstly, work out. That doesn't require gym membership, and fitness is good anyway. Secondly, be clean and smart. I get different reactions from women depending on whether I'm wearing a baggy T-shirt or a casual suit.

Being fun, kind and confident are more important... getting more experience, including of just trying, helps.

Nick said:

I have been watching a lot of cold approach videos they get their number, I am thinking of trying to do that

I've never tried that. I wouldn't want to put you off though, as you might learn something that way. A friend met his wife from just asking lots of women.

Try not to mull over things. Just move on. I'd been told by an older woman not to be 'too fussy', or to get obsessed with one person: the more people you ask, the better chance you have. There may well be things you can learn to try from such videos, but they're only a little part of the story.

Nick said:

I tried online dating that was a huge waste of time got into a few conversations but they never wanted to actually meet

I wouldn't give up on that. I met someone that way. Maybe it wasn't a waste of time even if you didn't, as it's a safe way of experimenting. Do you have any idea why they didn't want to meet? Sense of humour may be important here.

Do try to do more social stuff you're interested in, as you might meet someone that way who has an interest in common. Have you tried any meetup.com groups in your area?

Nick said:

when are you meant to kiss her ?

I don't think that's been a problem for me, but then I don't think I have a problem non-verbal signals. If you've been getting on well and are alone and looking at each other and conversation falls silent and there's a moment of connection.... You can ask, I suppose. Move slowly. If you're aiming for the lips, and she turns her head away, that's a 'no', for now at least.

Nick said:

I also have no idea how to tell if  a girl is into me or just wants to be friends

Those aren't alternatives, despite what you may hear. 'Just' 'friends' is great. For me, love is about seeing the good in someone, maybe in their heart or soul. You don't know when that will happen.