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Communication in difficult situations

Lana55

Is it common for autistic adults to communicate indirectly through analogies from music, pictures, or jokes (such as https://www.facebook.com/pagefordelusions/) when they try to express themselves in difficult situations that can't be conveyed well enough through direct communication? Don't autistic people tend to be rather direct, instead?

By difficult situations I mean vulnerable situations, such as talking about romantic feelings or those related to a very bad meltdown. 

I'm asking because there's a lot of room for interpretation and ambiguity during indirect communication, which leaves me wondering if I'm "reading the signals" correctly or just imaging things. I have a rich imagination and that makes things hard to believe sometimes.

Parents

  • Thanks everyone for your replies! I totally agree that a picture is worth 1000 words and being able to come up with the right picture/poem/story at the right time takes some dedication, creativity and a playful attitude. I think it counts as a talent and it's something that I appreciate. I just didn't know how common it was among Aspies.

    Okay... now imagine adding another layer to the communication. Imagine another Aspie who uses such analogies on a blog to help me communicate with my quiet Aspie friend.

  • in reply to Lana55

    Oh, and btw the blog is about international relations & history, so very different from the occasional posts on analogies & personal relationships.

  • in reply to Lana55

    That's very indirect. So maybe you are imagining it, picking up on a few things that are genuine coincidences. Why would a blog about international relations talk about Aspies opening up more? Does he have any known connection to the blog? It sounds implausible. On the other hand, what you're reading into what you're reading almost certainly does indicate something about the way you're thinking.

    On another thread, I think you mentioned there's a possible romantic thing here, although you're unsurprisingly not sure what he's thinking. Romantic things are by nature very indirect in themselves. So autistic romantic things are so indirect they're invisible... on more than one occasion, it's taken me literally two years to say something even vaguely indicating interest.

    Maybe it is more likely for an autistic man to play the role of Cyrano de Bergerac than Christian, if you get my drift, although quite possibly an eternally unrequited Cyrano. Just a thought.

    Lana55 said:
    I guess I could approach my friend and ask him directly about this, but I'm not sure how to do that without sounding like I'm going bonkers :)

    To be honest, that's probably simplest, and being thought of as bonkers is an occupational hazard of the honest. Either way it may be difficult for him to express things. Either he'll not know what you're talking about, or he'll congratulate you on deciphering the clues. Start indirect and then get more direct, and it would become clear if he's behind what you think may be messages.

    I do worry this suggestion is interfering, but you asked.

  • in reply to .

    I think Aesop's Fables can also be a good manual for life :) 

  • in reply to Cassandro
    Cassandro said:
    Maybe it is more likely for an autistic man to play the role of Cyrano de Bergerac than Christian, if you get my drift, although quite possibly an eternally unrequited Cyrano. Just a thought.

    Haha! There's one thing I know for sure: there's absolutely no way the author of the blog has any romantic interest in me. He's not Cyrano de Bergerac, nor Christian. He just wants to help my friend (whether that's related to me or not, that's what I find it believable and unbelievable at the same time).  And I'm not confusing the two of them, no worries :) 

    But good point!

    So even within the community, this is considered very indirect. Good to know.

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  • in reply to Cassandro
    Cassandro said:
    Maybe it is more likely for an autistic man to play the role of Cyrano de Bergerac than Christian, if you get my drift, although quite possibly an eternally unrequited Cyrano. Just a thought.

    Haha! There's one thing I know for sure: there's absolutely no way the author of the blog has any romantic interest in me. He's not Cyrano de Bergerac, nor Christian. He just wants to help my friend (whether that's related to me or not, that's what I find it believable and unbelievable at the same time).  And I'm not confusing the two of them, no worries :) 

    But good point!

    So even within the community, this is considered very indirect. Good to know.

Children
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