Published on 12, July, 2020
I am autistic. I have only recently been diagnosed. I am 43!
So I've been thinking about my differences. I think I feel all emotions just like anyone else but there is one thing I don't really feel and that is jealousy and I don't really understand it either. I think I got jealous once if that is what it was. I also don't understand the idea of 'showing off'.
My husband sometimes says to me, don't post that on facebook people will think you are showing off and I am like "why". Are you not allowed to be pleased with something you made or did and want to share it. Why would anyone take that negatively?
I suppose I can't separate my intention from someone else's perception?
I don't really get it. Anyone else?
Xanadu said:I don't really get it. Anyone else?
Greetings from me, Ex-"Mummy-To-Six" if I recall correctly...?
I was going to post stuff, but then I read the full OP (Opening Post). Now I am confused. Is this about "Jealousy" or about "Showing Off"?
In (confused) reply, I would say that "showing-off" is a thing which is not always controlled: E.G. - some people simply EXIST --- and yet upon sight of something about them, other people then become "Jealous". These things are not always stated, or managed... it is very complicated. There is no way to know/manage the feelings of other people, unless you become something like a BFF at them...(!?)
I could give examples, but they might not apply to you and so may be misunderstood.... But, Good Luck anyway.
Thank you and yes your memory serves you very well. I am indeed mummy to six but changed my username as I thought it was confusing as it made people think I was here to seek advice about children and I'm not!! I'm here for me!!
Yes my post is a bit confusing (this is what I do - confuse people) It started off about Jealousy and it went on to also be about showing off. I get the sense that the two things are linked somehow.
You are right you cannot control what other people think. NT people do seem to attempt to want to do that I think though. They all seem to smile nicely at each other but could be thinking something entirely different than what the smile on the face suggests. It's all very dishonest and complicated to me! If that is normal and I am disordered, then so be it!
I think that jealousy and showing off are linked, because showing off seems like trying to make other people jealous of yourself. But it might not be intentional, it depends on the circumstances and who is judging.
When I was at school I was very bad at most sports, but good at maths. While I was looked down upon for the sports deficiency (anyone else here had the experience of being left until last every time the class splits up into teams?) I didn't get any social brownie points for the maths because that was seen as "showing off", "teacher's pet", etc) But I wasn't meaning to show off, I was just doing it. I still don't understand the attitude, after all these years.
Greetings, all, especially DragonCat16. I do like the way that this Thread is turning out. DC16, I would quote you, but it would be all of it: substitute the word "Math" for Art or English, and this is what happened/happens to myself also.
I am not sure of the word: ...it feels like "Jealousy" yet more like INJUSTICE...? I am excellent in a lot of things, but my life (so far) is so weird, that most picked up upon things, and do not allow me to do that thing, and so they can say that they are "better at" it, but only because I am not allowed to show what I myself can do.
But as you say, if others do that thing, then it is fine. (Hence my UserName!) This is so weird. (And not fair.) ...