Published on 12, July, 2020
Does anyone else have issues with tidying up and cleaning? I don't actually have a diagnosis but have strong traits of autism and probably some of adhd too. I find things like tidying, cleaning, doing the dishes etc incredibly difficult. It probably comes across as laziness but I quite literally cannot face doing these jobs and usually let them build up far too much so it's an absolute mission when I do do them. Does anyone else have this issue? And can anyone shed any light on why I find this so difficult or if there is anything I can do to make it easier?
I have actually googled and found this I'm exsreamly worried about my 17 yr old he can't stand anyone in his space so I respect that BUT have to clean his room as it's NOT just teenage dirt mess laziness etc it's much much worse !! But he just can't seem do it himself he does other things to help me not particularly lazy but his room got sooo bad it worries me as he says he wants move out in coouple yrs. He just can't seem or care about being a bit clean ! I don't expect polish and dusting just picking up rubbish every so often and taking out dirty plates on a regular basis or even Let Me doit !! Bedding was so bad I had throw it away don't know what to do
My brother was like that!
With me, it is never with food as I hate seeing old food. It is more with organized piles of things.
Your son sounds like he is having trouble making sense of the mess and with task management. This is a problem that I suffer with so I am happy to give advice on what helps me.
You are right, its not that he is lazy, its that he is overwhelmed with the amount that has to be done and the not knowing where to start.
Try starting out with small organized tasks and help him by writing down a list of short, to the point instructions that are easy to break down and follow.
Example
- take all dirty cups, plates and utensils to the kitchen
- put all dirty clothes in one pile and take to the laundry room
- put all rubbish in one pile and put it all in a black sack and then take the rubbish out.
etc
Tell him to only focus on one task at a time and if its too much he can have small breaks between each task. Walk him through it and calm him down if he gets overwhelmed.
for keeping track of mess in future, tell him to try to keep all of the same types of mess in the same areas (so all rubbish together, all clothes together, all plates together etc) so that when it comes to tidying up, everything is more organized and it isn't as overwhelming to look at. Still write out a list of instructions each time tidying up is to be done.
This helped me tremendously. I hope it helps him too.
he is still 17 hopefully he will wise-up more when 18,19,20.
my 17 year old is the same (NT) except for the bedding
we decided at one point to let him sleep in his mess to see it that would help and that is exactly what he did ! he would sleep with plates in his bed ! totally amazing feat !