Published on 12, July, 2020
So, the past 5 weeks, have been horrible. I've felt completely worthless and inadequare, and upset to the point of crying constantly, everyday.I don't get constant thoughts of dying, or wanting to. Nor the harming side of things.But I feel lost in this world, I feel like there is something I am completely missing, but nobody seems to know what I'm talking about- They just throw the :"You're doing well, stress is catching up. It'll all pass and you'll feel better. Things will get better."The problem isn't me though since I have every reason to be upset, this world is messed up, I see people putting others' down, instead of showing kindness, and they're stuck in the ignorance that nothing is wrong. I try to say how I feel and what's wrong, but it seems to go on deaf ears, and I seem to be looked at as if I don't make sense. Had enough of trying to fit into a society that doesn't want me, I long the numbness of feelings I experienced for years of being medicated. It's easy to be content in isolation, when you can't feel the crippling sadness and loneliness. But then, I don't know what answer or advise I'm looking for...
It hurts keeping all these thoughts circling in my head, I'm sort of hoping throwing them out here, and seeing people's thoughts, feelings, experiences might help me.
Hi Foyster.
you are kind, perceptive, intelligent, amazing.., people find depression difficult to support as we don’t seem to have the language to acknowledge or the means to make thing better. It is a dialogue that all of society needs to learn. We all have our black dog days, weeks, months and years...
you sound like you’re at a juncture...we can judge ourselves by NT badges of achievement, but your path is something quite remarkable... you just don’t know it yet
If you are not being heard.
a) make your message clearer
b) change your audience or invite in new people
people can’t always hear the sound of a soul screaming in pain. think of what you need right now, be kind to yourself
The Foyster said:My soul is screaming in agony at this point, but then I don't know how to feel better. I've tried the "Walk it off." - "Eat better." - "Talk to someone." - "Push through it." is where I'm at, at this point.How do I feel better at this point? Is probably the a) make your message clearer. I'm already on the b) ... you lot are my change of audience.
You sound like you are at a pretty decent point. I don't think of some of those things. You are putting your plans together admirably!
Lists are a good strategy. Good post. Counselling can help if you are a bit shy for a group.
I keep a diary list of positives, and try to write down three per day, often completely unexpected things. It helps a bit.
IMHO it's good to express other stuff as honestly as you can too. I'd suggest keep writing down the things that are bothering you and I hope people will begin to understand - maybe more autistic people will get it at first, and we might have stuff in common. A lot of the time I can't explain even to myself why I'm feeling so bad. Injustice in the world is part of it. You might also check out depression self-help groups - Mind has a list.
You’re a pleasure to talk to..
Then hold onto that...but don’t push too hard... life is tough, but by asking for help aids understanding as it helps us to process and understand what we truly need
Aye, my positive thoughts has been gone for the weeks I've felt down, but thinking of a few positives a day, might be a good thing.Thanks for chatting to me, I feel better, if only a little.
...and that is why I do what I do. There is a forum member, @missfit61 whose mum always said... think of three positive things each day that have happened.
for you...
x
Seems about right. I'd like to help people, I feel I do the opposite sometimes, but then you reminded me, of something my friend said to me. He said I'd changed him for the better.So maybe I'm not as worthless as I think.I'd love to help more people, not for recognition, but just to see them thrive and improve.
I am a humanist
There is a saying..
people may forget what you said, or what you did, but they will never forget how you made them feel
I’m a teacher and facilitator. I help others as few, f any, helped me. Helping others gives me worth. The kids I support tend to be more honest and non judgemental than the adults!
To be honest I don't know. What do you feel your purpose is? What keeps you happy?
I hope this audience helps. From the people I have spoken to on the forum we have the frustration of being super bright minds but lacking the instruction manual. Over analysing heads which many can’t keep up with, which can make the gulf wider.
can I help?
Hi Foyster
My soul is screaming in agony at this point, but then I don't know how to feel better. I've tried the "Walk it off." - "Eat better." - "Talk to someone." - "Push through it." is where I'm at, at this point.How do I feel better at this point? Is probably the a) make your message clearer. I'm already on the b) ... you lot are my change of audience.