Published on 12, July, 2020
Hello guys
I really think I have or am on the spectrum but I just don't know where to start to communicate this to anyone.
Can someone help and advise me how I go about best communicating how I feel?
I am a 29 year old man and for the past 6 years or so I have essentially isolated myself and lost all my friends. I manage to live socially on a very basic level but it always gets overwhelming and the relationships/friendships die.
I find it so difficult to communicate in groups of people or with new people at all; I have to be drunk and then I am okay.
I have no idea how to 'get' places i.e. i'm constantly wondering how people have 'done' what they have done - i have no idea or vision of every owning my own home - how do people know they have the money for that?
I recently done that autism test and scored very highly. But the thing is my mind races so fast and is so fixated on 'WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME' and self obsessing thoughts that I lose focus of anything else.
I can do tasks only one way and I have to be shown. I'm most happiest at work when I get to do that task over and over again with no deviations and if there is any change I am completely stumped and it stresses me out too much and then the confused self depracating thoughts come in.
I've had one relationship but it ended because I was so fixated on how things 'should' be, where the relationship 'should'be at any one time it put to much pressure on my ex.
I just don't know how to explain any of this to a doctor because face to face i wont be able to recall any of how i'm feeling and my verbal communication is often jumbled and poor.
Does this sound like I have something wrong with me, it's got to a point in my life now where I feel in despair and am becoming quite angry over everything and every situation.
Hi Haitch,
This forum is supportive and full of knowledgeable.
You might want to have a look at our adult diagnosis page, which you can find here - http://www.autism.org.uk/about/diagnosis/adults.aspx This has information on the benefits of getting a diagnosis, how the process works, and what to expect at each stage.
You may like to have a look at the following page which includes personal accounts, which may help - http://www.autism.org.uk/about/adult-life/stories.aspx
Most diagnostic assessments are done with a referral from a GP, so you might want to make an appointment with your GP to discuss it - Is there anyone you would trust who you could take along as an advocate or someone to support you or even do some of the talking for you? You have done an excellent job of explaining some of your difficulties in writing here on the forum. I am also adding a link to the NHS Adult Autism diagnosis page - https://www.nhs.uk/Livewell/Autism/Pages/Diagnosisinadults.aspx
You can use the NAS Autism Services Directory to look for someone who would do a private assessment and diagnosis in your area - you can find the Directory here - https://www.autism.org.uk/services/autism-services-directory.aspx
The Lorna Wing Centre also carry out privately funded assessments - https://www.autism.org.uk/services/diagnosis.aspx
If you need help with an autism related issue, our helpline can be emailed via webform https://www.autism.org.uk/services/helplines/main/questions.aspx or they’re open Monday to Thursday 10am-4pm and Friday 9am-3pm on 0808 800 4104.
I hope that’s useful.
Nicky-Mod