"Feeling" Different = A Sign?

Hi Haitch,

This forum is supportive and full of knowledgeable.

You might want to have a look at our adult diagnosis page, which you can find here - http://www.autism.org.uk/about/diagnosis/adults.aspx  This has information on the benefits of getting a diagnosis, how the process works, and what to expect at each stage. 

You may like to have a look at the following page which includes personal accounts, which may help - http://www.autism.org.uk/about/adult-life/stories.aspx

Most diagnostic assessments are done with a referral from a GP, so you might want to make an appointment with your GP to discuss it - Is there anyone you would trust who you could take along as an advocate or someone to support you or even do some of the talking for you?  You have done an excellent job of explaining some of your difficulties in writing here on the forum.  I am also adding a link to the NHS Adult Autism diagnosis page - https://www.nhs.uk/Livewell/Autism/Pages/Diagnosisinadults.aspx

You can use the NAS Autism Services Directory to look for someone who would do a private assessment and diagnosis in your area - you can find the Directory here - https://www.autism.org.uk/services/autism-services-directory.aspx

The Lorna Wing Centre also carry out privately funded assessments - https://www.autism.org.uk/services/diagnosis.aspx

If you need help with an autism related issue, our helpline can be emailed via webform https://www.autism.org.uk/services/helplines/main/questions.aspx or they’re open Monday to Thursday 10am-4pm and Friday 9am-3pm on 0808 800 4104.

I hope that’s useful. 

Nicky-Mod

Hello Haitch, this link will give you all the information you need to get a referral for an assessment of autism in the UK ~ http://www.autism.org.uk/about/diagnosis/adults.aspx ~ it also gives you a number you can call if you need further support. 

What you have written suggests that you could well be on the autism spectrum. I think most, if not all of us on the autism spectrum have experienced the same kind of dispair and anger you are talking about, in fact, for many of us, it was the very thing that propelled us to take action to seek out why we appeared to be so different to the people around us. 

Taking the action you need to take to get the ball rolling in terms of getting an assessment for autism can have a very positive impact on your self esteem but it would also be a good idea to get some support in the meantime. Joining a local support group for adults with autism could be a good option and so could talking therapies, at this stage. Writing on here will help as well. There are lots of options. 

Well done for coming on here and sharing your experience with us, this is a really great first step and remember, the first step is always the hardest so you’ve cracked that one already. It will definitely not be all plain sailing from here on out but knowing yourself is definitely the key to a bright and happy future. All the best. 

Hi Haitch,

i sympathise completely.  I am all those things too.  Yes, I'd say feeling different is definitely a sign.  The more you research the experiences of others on the spectrum the more you will find that you are not alone.  Do you have at least one person you can talk to about the possibility that you're on the spectrum?  It's not that you have anything wrong with you, it's because you're wired differently and western culture doesn't yet acknowledge Homo Sapiens Autisticus as a legitimate new species of human being. :-) 

research, read and identify other people's experiences that relate completely to your own, you will find many on this forum. If you're on Facebook then check if there's a local group that can help you with local diagnosis advice and perhaps local group meetings. 

Getting support will grow your confidence as you learn strategies for interacting with others and getting your needs met.  Most of the time I don't know how I feel, I just know I need lots of time to work it out. If you need help working out how to communicate what you feel then having examples of what other autistic people do (in general) and relating these to your own stories might help others understand your predicament. It'll also give you a framework from which your own understanding will grow and from that you'll be in a better position to tackle the inherent prejudice and ignorance of the Neuro-typical.  

Seek out some help in the form of psychotherapy / counselling.  This need not be expensive. Your local FB group should be able to help here too.  I have therapy once a week and it's the only time I feel truly heard and I can practice strategies for dealing with others in a safe non-judgemental environment.  Because it is run by a local charity I only pay £20 instead of £45 or more!  

I'm currently in the process of getting up the courage to see my doctor with my accumulated evidence and like you, I don't feel able to communicate clearly when speaking, so I'm writing it all out and will give her a spoken summary as I hand her my 10 page document.  

The good news is you're still young and with proper support you'll be able to get back on track and lead a happy fulfilling life. 

Haitch said:

I manage to live socially on a very basic level but it always gets overwhelming and the relationships/friendships die.

I experience this as well.

Haitch said:

I find it so difficult to communicate in groups of people or with new people at all

The same here!

No problem, great minds re the writing idea

Sorry, I didn't see your reply when I posted! Even though it should have already loaded NAS!? (These threads seem to have a mind of their own.) 

You have communicated how you feel perfectly well there! Why not write these types of things down and show them to your GP if that would be easier than describing them verbally? I often take notes with me to important appointments in case I forget something (or go off on a tangent) and I don't think that's at all unusual. 

Some of the social difficulties you mention sound familiar to me, as does the overthinking of things and the feeling of having had to learn everything in life manually that the rest of the world appear to be pre-programmed with (an analogy someone else on this site used but one I can definitely relate to).

Have you read much about autism to see if you feel it relates to you? There's quite a bit of information on the main site here as well as within the many discussions. Some of the online tests can give you an indication of whether you feel that asking your GP for a referral for an autism assessment would be useful for you and you can take the results of your online test with you when you go to see your GP. 

I like the title of your Thread, I agree that autism is more about 'Feeling Different' than 'Having Something Wrong With Me' but then again I have had a while to get used to the diagnosis and I was much less accepting of my own differences before I knew what was causing them, especially when I was younger.  

Could you not write it down what you have been feeling?

A lot of it may well depend on having  the right kind of doctor though I suspect