Toronto atrocity and 'involuntary celibacy'

This is something of a tricky and disturbing subject to broach, mentioning murder, sexuality and sexual politics, but I hope it is worth it.

On Monday, someone, alleged to be a 25-year-old man, Alek Minassian, drove a van along a pavement in Toronto, killing ten people and wounding at least 15 others.  The dead were parents and children, sisters and brothers, and will not be coming back.  In attacks using this horrific method, any pain of the perpetrator is a fraction of that which they have caused. 

Nevertheless, while some will use words like 'evil', 'terrorism' or 'mental illness', others look for a motive or explanation from very limited evidence.  In this case, at least the suspect is alive and may be able to throw some light on it.  I have read coverage and thought the suspect might be autistic, and others may have similar suspicions, so the event may become a concern that autistic people need to 'defend' themselves against, or be something that can shed light on needs of (possibly undiagnosed) autistic people. 

As anyone with experience with or as an autistic person knows, autistic people are usually more moral than average and often conscientiously law-abiding.  This is something the general public may not realise enough, but is there anything in recent media reports that challenges perception of autistic people?  Eg UK 'security minister' Ben Wallace said:

We seize a number of these people who have autism, who are targeted and groomed by IS and the far-Right — so are we doing enough in mental health to identify vulnerable people?

The idea of making autistic people do something against their own code seems implausible to me.  We also read that while 'there is no substantial link between ASD and terrorism', 'there may be specific risk factors which could increase the risk of offending among people with ASD. Autistic special interests such as fantasy, obsessiveness (extreme compulsiveness), the need for routine/predictability and social/communication difficulties can all increase the vulnerability of an person [sic] with ASD to going down the pathway to terrorism. Searching for a “need to matter” or social connection and support for someone who is alienated or without friends may also present as risk factors.'

Here are some of the things that have been said about Minassian:

Mr Minassian had previously attended a school for students with special needs in north Toronto, former classmates said.  He would be seen walking around Thornlea Secondary School with his head down and hands clasped tightly together making meowing noises... Mr Minassian had not been violent. "He wasn't a social person, but from what I remember he was absolutely harmless" (BBC/Reuters)

socially troubled computer studies graduate who posted a hostile message toward women on Facebook [“The Incel Rebellion has already begun!”]... Mr. Minassian had displayed extreme social awkwardness. But they said he had seemed harmless... “He was an odd guy, and hardly mixed with other students... He had several tics and would sometimes grab the top of his shirt and spit on it, meow in the hallways and say, ‘I am afraid of girls.’ It was like a mantra... He was a loner and had few friends”  Mr. Minassian did not express strong ideological views or harass women... but he was isolated and others privately made fun of him. Mr. Minassian had difficulty communicating and expressed fear that women could hurt him. Other classmates said he literally ran away when women approached, even female students determined to befriend him... Mr. Minassian joined the armed forces on Aug. 23 of last year and quit two months later, after 16 days of basic training. (New York Times)

I was never that extreme, but some of it sounds familiar from that age.

An article on the progressive Southern Poverty Law Center site describes 'incel' (involuntarily celibate) as 'part of the online male supremacist ecosystem', rather than what it would appear to be, a misguided attempt by sexually frustrated, emotionally conflicted young men to make sense of their needs for self-expression and affection.  I believe the term 'incel' has been around for at least ten years, and probably wasn't originally misogynist or applied almost exclusively to men.  The article claims incel 'grew out of the pick-up artist movement'.  However, while normalisation of casual sex, and manipulating people to achieve it, could be one of the sources of the current 'incel' identity, sex is ubiquitously used to sell anything from entertainment to food, and more importantly, it's not as though popular culture hasn't been talking about the healing virtues of romantic love for decades.  When every desire seems commercially satisfiable other than two that can be very intense and are hardest to satisfy, for love and for sex, which often get conflated when neither urge is met, after a while bitterness can ensue.  If you're a straight young man who is both 'love shy' and perceived as 'weird' (not a bad thing by some definitions), obsessions with women, both in particular and in general, and continual rejection, can completely derail you.  They did me.  It obviously wasn't any fault of any of the women involved, nor the men I was envious and jealous of.  But I could have done with appropriate support to handle it better, before it led to suicidal depression.  In past centuries, I might have joined a monastery.

So I'm suggesting there may be a lot of people in the 'incel community' who are unidentified autistic or have other disabilities or social disadvantages.  The fact that there's a very inward-looking online group identity may encourage extreme views and unhelpful self-pity - on the other hand, it may just reflect them. I had a look at the incels.me site where SLPC noted offensive comments apparently celebrating the Toronto attack, and its 'introduction' is possibly revealing - it mentions the predicament (possibly about affection and status more than anything), but also the word 'ideology'.  The 'rules', however, seem to ban women, 'white-knighting' (presumably being a pro-feminist ally), the idea that 'being yourself is the best way to conduct yourself in life' or that appearance is unimportant, nor it seems any account from people who have actually overcome difficulties to achieve happy sexual relationships.  Probably banning such forums, as Reddit did, won't help - the answer is better speech, not less speech.  Recognition that there are social difficulties that can be acquired or innate, and those difficulties are much more difficult for some to overcome than for others is vital, but there is little actually done about it.  In the UK this is recognised by the Outsiders Club.  Maybe the best solution is diverse experience, time with friends of more than one gender to work through resentments, learning acceptance, help working through other behavioural problems, social skills training, and (no doubt controversially) I'd suggest sex workers probably can do more to help boost self-acceptance than mental health staff.

I realise I've mentioned a few different issues here: that someone might overcome all their inhibitions to kill contrasts strongly with the way they can't overcome inhibitions and social barriers to help their personal development - to many, the internal frustration will seem a long way from hate-filled acts.  That people may discriminate against outsiders romantically is also very different from being afraid of them.  I find it disturbing, but nothing is to be feared, only understood, as Marie Curie said.

Parents
  • Every time some nutcase has committed some kind of mass murder recently, whether by shooting, or whatever other means (in this case with a vehicle), the media has gone for the autism angle. Just because someone is socially awkward or not sociable does not necessarily mean they are autistic, and the fact that they have committed mass murder indicates a lack of conscience more appropriately diagnosed as psychopathy than autism. Whereas for us regular people on the spectrum, there are so many posts complaining about how difficult it is to get diagnosed, or even get a referral to be diagnosed, it seems as though nobody has any problem diagnosing mass murderers as being on the spectrum. Just because a guy can't get any doesn't mean he is on the spectrum. Maybe he just needs to shower more.

  • I'm still following the media coverage on this intermittently. There seems to be little emphasis on Minassian's mental health, probably expecting that to come out in court. There's more on 'incel' and violence against women, and some on autism. Here are two of the former, and one on the latter:

    https://www.theverge.com/2018/4/25/17279294/toronto-massacre-minassian-incels-internet-misogyny - a commentary bringing in sexism of mainstream society, and the idea that some men supposedly feel entitled to women's bodies, into the picture, possibly unhelpfully. Any recommendations aren't clear: it seems to be attacking '"free speech"' (in quotation marks) on the internet, but then concludes more that the problem is 'saying nothing' . I'd say it's more the latter. Possibly 'major internet platforms' (and minor ones too) could employ or give access to moderators with mental health training who could contribute?

    More specifically about the violent aspects of incel culture: https://www.independent.co.uk/voices/incels-alek-minassian-mra-mens-rights-terrorism-toronto-van-attack-a8323166.html

    And this is not bad about the dangers of media coverage, again emphasising there is no link with violence: https://www.thestar.com/news/gta/2018/04/26/were-not-a-violent-group-of-people-ex-classmate-of-alek-minassian-speaks-out-about-autism.html  Kyle Echakowitz seems like a good autistic advocate.

    So it looks like the narrative that dominates may be one of autistic people being open to 'grooming' by those with violent ideas, with alienation a secondary theme. Would it be wrong to highlight the alienation more, since it affects many more people than reach the headlines?

Reply Children
  • Three more relevant articles, none actually mentioning autism, to general relief. These do however take a wider view of alienation and sex. I think the point that someone committing a crime like this tragically suggests how many more people are alienated and bear such bitterness, is valid. As with other instances of talking to terrorists, the act itself is not helpful to understanding, but the fact the suspect was captured alive and the subsequent process may be.

    From a feminist angle we have Rola Kamaleddine in HuffPost:

    there is something spine tingling bubbling behind the scenes which his attack has undoubtedly shed light on. Women are still not safe. Women are still not equal. ... Women are tired of owing just for existing.

    In the process of trying to be inclusive, there's what seems to be a contradiction:

    Let me clarify—I don’t think anyone should be denied the joys of companionship and the perks that come along with it. I sympathise with those who feel like they are not good enough or worthy of love, and I am here to tell you that you are. I’m sorry for every human who has bullied your confidence or self-worth down to the point where you believe there is something wrong with you. Every single person deserves someone who truly loves them as they are and wants to share the beauty of life with them. We all want to love and be loved. However, it is important to understand that this isn’t an entitlement—it’s earned. You earn love, sex, relationships and companionships by being a decent, kind and loving human being, and maybe with a little sprinkle of luck from Mother Nature, that you cross paths with the right person. You have to be deserving to truly earn someone’s love, and wishing women dead because you feel entitled isn’t how you earn it. We don’t feel sorry for your sense of entitlement.

    The point is omitted that bullying is not the only reason people may feel they will never find love; also omitted are women who cannot find suitable men.

    I find the distinction between deserves someone and entitlement a bit confusing. I'm not sure either word is helpful. Maybe we deserve respect, but not affection. We don't deserve, nor are entitled to, having a specific desire reciprocated.  But the contrast is with a society that tries to meet people's romantic needs somehow, regardless of their sexuality.

    This links to other recent discussion from a different perspective of a 'right to sex' (in the sense of human right), prompted mostly by a right-wing economist. The best about this is the New York Times referring to commodification of sex:

    Sometimes the extremists and radicals and weirdos see the world more clearly than the respectable and moderate and sane. ...Robin Hanson, a George Mason economist, libertarian and noted brilliant weirdo. Commenting on the recent terrorist violence in Toronto, in which a self-identified “incel” — that is, involuntary celibate — man sought retribution against women and society for denying him the fornication he felt that he deserved, Hanson offered this provocation: If we are concerned about the just distribution of property and money, why do we assume that the desire for some sort of sexual redistribution is inherently ridiculous? ...  as offensive or utopian the redistribution of sex might sound, the idea is entirely responsive to the logic of late-modern sexual life

    Finally, this in the Indie also feels free to roam philosophically over the abstracts, and unfortunately implies that Minassian is representative of 'incels'. It again refers to sex as commodity, but also as a social good for harmony:

    Involuntary celibacy is only one manifestation of our voluntary enslavement to the reign of the virtual.

    Which is a contrasting conclusion to the NYT article talking about sex robots. I haven't seen much relating the violence to economic inequality and social inequality.  Nor to social disabilities.  Nor providing what I'd consider realistic solutions. Maybe it was just a freak event anyway that you can't draw conclusions from.  Maybe these immediate reactions could have instead drawn on what George Monbiot has been saying about loneliness.  There's nothing unique about autistic people's loneliness, but we are more vulnerable to its extremes, almost by definition.

  • Now here's an academic partly appealing to the media to be sensitive:

    https://theconversation.com/toronto-attack-autism-does-not-increase-risk-of-violence-95636

    I'm not sure mention of the mythical 'lack of empathy' is helpful, even though it's glossed over. It isn't in Allely's list of risk factors for good reason.

    Maybe hoping for a sophisticated and realistic media narrative is unrealistic.  I've also seen articles pointing out such violence is usually by young males, which is fair enough but obvious: some would claim it is a biological fact true across societies (who is recruited to armies?)  Autism as such is associated with lower violence.  However, there may be an indirect link between ostracism, social isolation and poor support and dwelling on violent ideas.  Or is all speculation unhelpful?