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ASD and connecting with people

NAS37269

I am a 24 year old female who was diagnosed with mild ASD 12 years ago. 

I have a fiancé who I’ve been with for 4 years and are getting married next year! We have an amazing relationship and I feel very close to him. I am also very close with my mum, dad and sister but that’s where it stops! I am currently working 2 days a week but have already backed away from my colleges there and am feeling very awkward around them! I also struggle to keep on top of my work! (I fiand having to organise things very stressful and confusing) I have been in and out of different jobs since I was 16 as I can’t hold down a job for long at all! I also can’t seem to maintain friends, I begin to make friends but then something happens and I can’t carry on building the friendship! This has been the same my whole life apart from one girl who I managed to be friends with for about 10 years. 

I seem to have a block when it comes to building friendships! I just don’t ever feel connected to anyone really, does anyone else experience this? Do you have any tips to help me? Also does anyone experience the same as me with work? It’s really starting to bug me!

thanks!

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  • Sometimes I find that after starting to make friends, I kind of withdraw and cant continue the friendship - it's like I get scared that I won't know how to act with a close friend rather than a casual one. Don't know if that's ASD or a confidence issue though!

    I've been really lucky in that I made a couple of brilliant friends at uni and they've stuck by me. I think the shared experience of uni, similar interests and living in the same building helped us become friends.

    I struggle a lot with employment and staying in a job so really sympathise with you on that! I find it difficult being around anyone for long periods of time and especially work colleagues that I don't know all that well. I find it easier to just be casually polite with people at work and have my real friendships outside the workplace; it is just what works for me.

    Do you have any hobbies or interests that have social groups or activities attached to them? Maybe that could be a way of building up friendships? Having ASC and making/keeping friends is hard work though so don't be too hard on yourself

  • in reply to PoGoAddict
    PoGoAddict said:
    Sometimes I find that after starting to make friends, I kind of withdraw and cant continue the friendship - it's like I get scared that I won't know how to act with a close friend rather than a casual one. Don't know if that's ASD or a confidence issue though!

    I have exactly the same problem.

  • in reply to California

    Ditto. I don't think it's a confidence issue - but how should I know? After all, I spent 40+ years unaware of my autism.

  • in reply to DongFeng5

    Ok, wow, looks like quite a few people experience this - thanks for commenting. It makes me feel a bit less alone in going through that.

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