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**Update 2** "Am I that different?"

The Foyster

3 months ago, I came here again, to catch you up on the life of myself.

Since then, I have moved house again, after my older brother took advantage of me, and dwindled away all my savings, stopped paying his bills, and relied on me to pay, to help him live. While he went off, and did - quite frankly - whatever the F*ck he wanted.

So I went homeless for 3 weeks, after getting thrown out, after not being able to keep up with my brother's bills, as well as my half. Landlord asked us to leave, at the end of the tenancy of 6 months, as he wanted the house back. (probably cs' late rent coming a week or so late, the last 3 months.) 

After going into a homeless accommodation and having a complete meltdown/overload, after a manager was showing us round and lied saying it's quiet. My parents' offered me at their house, thinking it'd be better for myself, and my health.

I'm now in my own 1 bed place in a town, where I can keep it clean, knowing it won't get messed up by my brother, and i can manage my bills, and build my savings back. Which is going extremely well this past 2 weeks, but now I'm starting to remember the constant feeling of isolation. I mean it's always there (not sure if that's the same for everyone.) but stress is a nice distraction. I finished counselling too, that helped slightly, improving my self esteem for a few weeks before it fell back to it's usual. 

Now, I'm sort of lost, and was hoping for some sort of "miracle advise" from a Neuro-typical, to help me understand.... or from someone like myself, Autistic, who has came through and found a solution to this problem.

The problem is, meeting people- Girls to be exact - but not completely just them. I find social interactions confusing. I want to meet, and make friends, and even from romantic relationships. I'm in a few clubs (hobby type ones- not the nightclub type.), but i find myself being slightly withdrawn from the groups I am a regular part of.  SO, I thought, how does introducing and pushing these regular acquaintances or strangers to friendships, and then more if I so desire?

Google doesn't cure everything, and apparently. Just doing it, until your confident will help. But I can't see that being the case for me.
I feel approaching strangers, Girls especially is sort of wrong, they get enough unwanted attention without me following the rest. But then, how do you know when to approach, or how to.  
I'm TOTALLY lost.

Parents

  • Join a club, or find an activity you enjoy, and you will meet people naturally. I don't think people like us do well in situations where the only purpose is to form social relationships. At least I don't.

    Try not to put pressure on yourself. Just find something you like to do, and other people who like to do the same thing will naturally approach you. That takes a lot of the work out of it. For me, it's music. I wouldn't talk to anyone if I didn't go to rehearsals.

  • in reply to DragonCat16

    I'm in a music group, an autism support group, I attend a local meet up spot, where people chat about random stuff.
    It just doesn't seem to go anywhere. It's like they stay as an acquaintance. I did mention it briefly in the post. -
    It's hard, cs' I can talk, it's just the new people, and changing them from this stranger... to a friend. How do you keep engaging in conversation, is it awkward to ask for their number? **Internal struggle with social situations**

Reply
  • in reply to DragonCat16

    I'm in a music group, an autism support group, I attend a local meet up spot, where people chat about random stuff.
    It just doesn't seem to go anywhere. It's like they stay as an acquaintance. I did mention it briefly in the post. -
    It's hard, cs' I can talk, it's just the new people, and changing them from this stranger... to a friend. How do you keep engaging in conversation, is it awkward to ask for their number? **Internal struggle with social situations**

Children
  • in reply to The Foyster

    I also have difficulty making the transition from acquaintance into friend. I usually just leave it up to others because when I try it, I end up with my foot firmly stuffed in my mouth. This generally means that things go really slowly, but maybe that's a good thing. Instead of asking for a number, it is usually easier to ask for e.g. a Facebook connection. As for conversation, in a music group, the conversation is usually about the music. You pretty much can't go wrong if you stick to the topic.