ASD dating and Men

Hello NAS36430. 

I have tried most Austistic dating sites in the web. Unfortunately I have had no joy.  Still looking. Tired of looking for a man who cares about what I have which is ASD.

I'm sure there must be many people looking for the same things as you. I can't see anything weird about what you would like.

I think the problem might be that you're using dating sites. Going in with the expectation of finding a partner in my experience makes things a lot harder. I had a series of disastrous relationships in my young adulthood mostly because I was desperate to be in one.
My first one, I started to hate being in but stayed with for years because I felt guilty about not loving him any more. The next was abusive, definitely took advantage of how vulnerable I was after finally breaking off the last one and did me some serious emotional damage (we have to do safeguarding training at work and I loathe it because it's like going through a checklist), one I was completely not ready for and so ended disastrously.

After that I gave up on the whole thing, decided I was going to fix myself up emotionally and just live for me for a while. Joined a few social groups around my interests, met someone there I really got on with and we have been happily together for about five years now.

So I suppose my advice is to stop looking (as hard as it sounds), go out and do social stuff that makes you happy. The people you meet there will share your interests which is always a good start and you will probably meet someone naturally.

As a side note, I for one have never been interested in the stereotypically masculine, blokey males you see in fiction. I find prominent muscles just repellent. XD 

I am sorry about the confusion.

I do not see love as a game.

I, actually, see that as a very serious commitment.

Well, we're all allowed to dream. To aspire. Expectations can be realised.  

Expectation versus reality.

Imprudence versus prudence.

It was a valid question. 'What was your photo attempting to convey?', perhaps? 

No, not in my experience. Dated an Aspie for 2 years. Dated numerous NT women, was even in a 10 year relationship with one. When you are in love you don't even think you are playing a game. You start sharing your lives and the game ends. If it doesn't it's still a game for you both.

Nothing. That's why I posted a photo.

What are you trying to say?

Because I don’t understand the game of love, I refuse to play.

I also have got this problem. But I still keep trying.

Would it be more hard work to understand the game of love with non-autistic person than autistic one?

“Because I don’t understand the game of love, I refuse to play.”

Sherlock Holmes on Elementary now.

I have noticed that a lot of people want sex as soon as possible and do not want to wait. At least, that was the case years ago when I was on a dating website.

I am not that desperate to pay to be on a dating website. I also do not like to write and publish my profile. I do not want to share my photos publicly.

I do not understand how one can have sex with, practically, a stranger.

I, personally, would like to hug someone, talk to someone and share our lives - the good moments and the bad ones.

I would like someone next to me to feel safe and someone I could care about.

When I was a member,  I never had one genuine response.  People tried to scam me, but I was always a little sceptical.  

NAS24859 said:

I'm not looking for some traditionally masculine or overly romantic. I just want someone who I'm attracted to who is nice.

I also just want someone who I am attracted to and who is nice, polite and caring.

NAS24859 said:

I hate it when I get a generic 'how are you?

This is the top question I absolutely hate everywhere.

People keep asking me it and I do not know what to answer. I never ask this question.

Define a 'successful partnership'.  It's one based on all sorts of factors.  Compromise, tolerance, understanding.  All of these are necessary components of 'love'.  In all of my years of relationships - including a marriage of five years - I've never been able to make it successful, for any number of reasons.  My last relationship, almost 3 years ago, was the most 'romantic' affair of my entire life.  But it fizzled out in little more than a year.

I no longer look for a significant other.  And I'm pretty certain - from my own experience - that such a person is unlikely to be found on dating websites.  They're filled with desperate people, who will most likely do anything to find Mr or Miss 'Right'. 

Don't go out looking for it is my advice.  Wait for it to come to you naturally. 

I've just recently re-joined internet dating. I'm not looking for some traditionally masculine or overly romantic. I just want someone who I'm attracted to who is nice. 

When you're messaging potential partners do you always make sure you reference something they have put on their profile? I hate it when I get a generic 'how are you?' and you can't tell whether its a cut and paste job or they're actually interested