Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi
I am new to this. I am nearly 43 and I am awaiting formal diagnosis. I know whatever they say that I am HFA - ASD. I know it like I know night and day. Under the old way of diagnosis I suspect they would call me Aspergers.
So I'm working myself out. This forum is helping me to articulate and explain things that I couldn't before.
So there is this thing and I can't articulate or name it but I'll describe it and please tell me if anyone else identifies or if it has a name?
When I meet new people or indeed find myself in the room with anyone. I can 'feel' them. I'm rubbish at working out people by what they are saying or doing or the way that they look but when I meet someone I can describe who they emotionally in relation to me almost straight away.
Some people make me feel "undiluted good". I like to be around these people.
Some people make me feel "neutral" I am not decided - they are not bad or good, the signal is blank.
Some people i get a bad feeling from and I want to remove myself from those people.
Occasionally some people make every hair stand on end on my back and I sense that there is something very wrong with them.
I often see that people are not very nice but it isn't because they 'feel bad' to me, it's something else. Then it's that they are not 'bad' but maybe just don't like me.
Anyway so it's not about reading facial expressions, not about reading body language, or decipering what people are saying because I am not good at that.
It's more like a 'sense' I get, a feeling or energy and I could describe it with every person I meet after a short time. They don't need to say or do very much.
I suppose it's a bit like being an empath, I don't know as yet. I am struggling to properly explain it. Empath doesn't sound quite right either.
Can anyone else identify with this?
Thanks.
I sometimes get this around people, at least the bad feeling part, and it's usually accurate. But I'm not sure if that's because they've detected that I feel uncomfortable near them, because that could be the reason we don't get along, if they respond to it.
I more often get good or bad feelings in a particular location, and it isn't always to do with what the place looks like. There's a perfectly ordinary and pleasant looking street just a short distance from where I live, and it feels like fingernails scraping down a blackboard to stand there. No way could I live in one of those houses, but I don't know why.
Yes, I know what you mean. I don't know it's like I can feel an aura if that makes sense. Like, I've got cats, none of them can speak but yet each one has a different personality and a different feeling about their character.
Well it's like I get this exact same thing but with 'people'.
I think that 's the best way I can describe it but it might not mean much to anyone if they don't have animals or know animals.
I think I know what you mean, I get something like it. In my younger years I even wondered if it was a sort of sixth-sense thing but I don't believe in things like that. I don't know what to call it really, Vibes? Auras? (I don't see colours or anything like that!)
Over the years I just wonder if it's just me 'reading' people. All of the little things that apparently NT's do subconsciously and effortlessly, I am perfectly aware of myself 'reading' these things. Body posture, gestures, tone and inflection in their voice, small ticks and 'tells', these are all obvious to me but whenever I've mentioned them over the years nobody else seems to have noticed them.
I think maybe it's what I do because I don't (or can't?) read eyes. Contrary to popular Aspie lore, I wonder if I can in fact read facial expressions but the problem is that they lie!!
People's 'tells', 'ticks', and body language etc that I mentioned above, they all say A.
People's facial expressions say B.
Usually their words agree with B but in my experience their words hardly ever agree with A.
It's only later, when I hear what actions the person has taken as a result of our social interaction, that I often find it relates more to A than what they wanted me to think with their words and facial expressions. Not ALWAYS, but enough to know that it's a pretty good idea to trust what I 'read' from people more than what they say or express facially.
I think that's why I find people exhausting tbh. Reading people is something I 'do', it's active and self-directed and it's hard-work (especially in groups) because there's SO MUCH going on all at once. When you add in the confusing mismatch between all of that and their actual words and facial expressions - it's just too much effort sometimes.
I'll look out for it, add it to my growing list of books on Asperger's (Once I started talking to people on here I realised there IS a lot of information out there - why don't the diagnostic services direct us to these?).
To be honest, the way I've heard NT social interactions described sounds more psychic or supernatural than anything mentioned on this thread - which all sounds fairly evident to me!
Yes, yes, yes and Yes!
So now you’ve articulated another phenomenon!
None of that processing is done in the higher conscious level of the brain. It’s not psychic though lol
i did an official IQ test recently but I explained to the EP that some of the hardest questions I answered I just “felt” were correct (and they were correct) but I couldn’t have told him why. I just “knew”.
just like I “know” when ppl are bad.
This is kind of the same thing. The processing depth is different, lower, deeper in the brain.
Im reading this fantastic book called “Am I Autistic” A guide to Autism & Aspergers. This book tells you the stuff that isn’t widely defined as being a “disorder” by NT doctors.
highly recommend