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Advice sought for an Aspie suffering also from Adult Separation Anxiety Disorder

zone_tripper

I was diagnosed with Asperger Syndrome (informally by a NHS Psychologist and then formally by two NHS Psychiatrists), in the summer of 2011. 

 

I have most of the stereotypical AS traits and characteristics, and possible Dyspraxia. 

 

However, I suspect that I may also have something called Adult Separation Anxiety Disorder - http://anxietypanichealth.com/reference/separation-anxiety-disorder-adult/

 

I suffer from severe home-sickness; so much so, I moved back home to my elderly parents about 18 months ago (despite being in my mid-30s). 

 

I also do not like to be away from home for any length of time; spending a day in London, staying overnight in a hotel and travelling back home to Kent is about as long as I go on holiday for! 

 

I also suffer from a debilitating, overwhelming fear of their dying.  (Today, they boarded a plane flight for Spain, for a few days break.  Whenever they are flying, I always fear the worst; more so than when they are travelling by coach.)  When an ambulance goes racing past, I always fear the worst.  Sometimes, when I am at work, I phone home to check they are ok. 

 

I have a fear of my parents having to go into a care home and the local council forcing me to sell their home to pay for their care.  (Thankfully, due to my Autism and due to my depression and anxiety, I am hoping I would be recognised as a dependant, disabled, vulnerable person and therefore not forced to sell their home, or at worst, offered social housing.)  In other words, I have an overwhelming fear of being made homeless. 

 

I am absolutely dreading when they will eventually pass on.  And not wanting to sound uncaring, I am absolutely dreading all the funeral arrangements, telling relations and attending the funeral. 

 

Unfortunately, my sister and I are like chalk and cheese, personality-wise.  Sometimes we can come to blows and she does not always appreciate my mental health problems and AS.  This does not make things easy. 

 

I have had some suicidal thoughts, such as thinking of ending my own life before they die, so that I do not have to face up to their passing.  It is an utterly selfish and irrational thought, I know.  Due to their still being alive, I have no intention of committing suicide; it’s just that I get these black thoughts sometimes.  (As my GP says, there is a world of difference between thinking of suicide and actually acting out on it.)  And by coincidence, I actually work at a NHS Psychiatric Hospital; so I am literally seconds away from Psychiatric staff who can help me if I am feeling really bad. 

 

* * * * *

 

Can anybody give me some advice or point me in the direction of charities and support groups who may be able to help? 

 

Any help, advice and/or kind words of sympathy would be appreciated!

 

  • My father is 70 and I rely on him for almost everything, I'm always worried that he will be taken away from me soon, I don't mean to be too dramatic but it's true. Without my dad being around my life will be practically f***king over, I'll still have my 2 sisters and my half sister but they'll have their own life. I don't see myself dating in the near future and I definitely won't be having children. Me and my dad are almost inseparable we do a lot of stuff together, I've done a lot of stupid *** when I was a kid and still do occasionally but he's always been there, he doesn't accept the fact that I might have autism (haven't been diagnosed yet) my sisters are pretty sure that I do have it. I've been diagnosed with Dyslexia  and Dyspraxia in high school and my dad was present for the meeting. @Zone_Tripper I'm exactly the same if my dad wasn't around anymore I can guarantee that I would commit suicide ( horrible way to think but it's true) I couldn't look after myself if my dad wasn't around and I'm sure my sisters wouldn't want me living with them until we reach old age.

  • I have the exact same fears and worries too.

    I think it must be pretty common for us on the spectrum to feel like that.

  • This must be awful, but I can relate to it. I am 24 years old and live at home with my parents: Dad is 65, Mum is  57. They are still fit and healthy, but I fear them getting old, and I often worry about them dying and what I would do, all alone. I predict that I will have some sort of breakdown, for I know I would not cope, even though they should live a good 15 plus years yet. But I am not just scared of their death: I am also scared of them getting unwell, as people often do in old age. Part of the (selfish) reason why I want to move out is so I can avoid getting unhappy seeing them getting old. My parents are all I have in this world - I have no close friends.

    Hopefully someone else can offer advice - I have none - but you are not alone