Reactions to shouting

I get told I'm over reacting all the time! Or 'over thinking / analysing things', 'making a big deal out of nothing', and other such comments. Having read up on ASD constantly since my diagnosis it seems to be part of being on the spectrum but i'm certainly no expert. I also don't necessarily agree that it's 'OVER' reacting just because my reaction is different to someone else's. 

I can recognise your reaction to being shouted at, or being present when someone else is being shouted at, as the same reactions I had twenty years ago and throughout my childhood and teens. Bearing in mind that i'm now 44 years of age, it's probably been about that long ago since I experienced someone shouting directly at me. I guess the good news from that is that it seems to happen less as you get older. 

Nowadays shouting (even when it's directed at someone else) still makes me feel tense and panicked but i've no idea what other people see: On the most recent occasion I was sitting at a table with two other parents when one of their children approached and began crying, shouting, and complaining that her sister was awful to her and describing all of the reasons why she hated her sister. The parent got annoyed at the child whilst giving her platitudes and advice to ignore her sister - all of which I thought 'fair enough', that's just how that family works as I sat quietly waiting for it to be over because the whole episode was making me feel anxious but I didn't think it would be polite if I were just to get up and walk away (which is what I wanted to do, just to get away from the shouting). 

The next thing I know, as the child was walking away and I felt able to breathe again, the parent turned to me, leaned towards me in a way that felt aggressive, and sort of 'hissed' at me "I suppose your children NEVER fight, do they?"

To this day I have no idea what that was all about! My children weren't even there! Two of my children aren't even children anymore so, No Actually they don't fight with one another like that but obviously they DID years ago when they were all very small. I can only assume that I was supposed to butt in and say or do something (What?) but failed to, or that I was supposed to walk away (????). I have no idea. I have no particular viewpoint on her children so Iv'e no idea what prompted her to suddenly mention mine !?!? Or what on earth my children had to do with a situation between her and her daughter, it's completely baffling. 

Anyway, in answer to your question, I can relate to your experiences re. shouting but it doesn't look as if i'm the best person to give anyone advice about it as my own reactions are apparently 'Wrong'.     

Thank you for the message, I too get these comments about over reacting and reading j to things. 

I'm not best at expressing entirely how it makes me feel but I can only say it would be like an animal trapped in a cage.

You have to even slightly raise your voice or just be a tad aggressive in your response and I start to freak out. I just can't handle it it makes me.so anxious but I'm only newly diagnosed and wasn't sure if his wad a part of it or due to my family life as a young girl and even now as my mum is a screamer. 

Don't get me started on children I can't stand being in the same room when they start to shout or scream It terrifies me. 

But I'm glad I'm not alone 

Nadielou said:

Don't get me started on children I can't stand being in the same room when they start to shout or scream It terrifies me. 

...Yes. Very much supporting this also.

Nadielou said:

Don't get me started on children I can't stand being in the same room when they start to shout or scream It terrifies me. 

...Yes. Very much supporting this also.