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Not understanding how I feel?

Goatworshiper

I would never describe myself as suffering with anxiety, but i've just read a bit of a book on amazon (http://www.amazon.co.uk/Asperger-Syndrome-Anxiety-Successful-Management/dp/184310895X/ref=sr_1_4?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1337544870&sr=1-4 page 195) and that is my way of behaving in social situations as a child. I just didnt enjoy playing, but I'd never thought of it as anxiety.

One of the things I keep seeing in relation to anxiety and depression, but to be truthful I  feel more muddled. That's If I have AS (which im 99.999999999% sure I have). Did anyone else through the time of going through diagnosis feel unsure about there identity? I feel a bit weird on this front.

Can anyone recomend any decent books in relation to this or just good general Autism/Aspergers books for adults. I've been cautious not to read so far, as I dont want to influence a diagnosis. I don't want a false diagnosis if you know what I mean. But sod it, curiosity is getting the better of me.

Parents
  • I haven't read the book (feel free to report more as you read on), but amygdalae rings a bell (I'm a layperson just summing up what I read):

    The amygdalae's job is to monitor outer sensory input and answer the question, "is this familiar, strange, or dangerous?" before reason gets a chance to look at it. 
    Typically it's like this: A person is at home, with friends or family, or in one of their favorite places. The Amygdalae get bored and switch themselves off. This makes the person feel relaxed, save, happy and "at home, at peace" (a feeling that every person strives for). 
    If the person is in a strange situation (new town, new job, lost, surprised) the amygdalae switch themselves on "half-steam" and that makes the person feel first alert and later stressed. Alertness is very useful to navigate a new situation and learn how to adjust (the person notices all the small details of the new place and analyses them quickly). The downside is that this state costs a lot of energy and leaves the person exhausted, so it's only good in the short-term (i.e. humans avoid stress), but since they are alertly learning about the new situation it becomes familiar quickly.
    If the situation is judged as dangerous, then the amygdalae switch on "full-steam" and the person goes into fight-flight-freeze panic mode because reason would not be quick enough to make a decision. This is useful to escape real danger. 

    Now... What if your Amygdalae  happen to be "enlarged", what if they trigger too much, or too early?
    Such a person is constantly up in mode 2 while NTs are still in mode 1... When these persons are at home or with friends, their amydalae are already pumping up alertness to "help" them "analyse" this (eternally) "strange" situation......
    If now something truly strange or new happens, the NTs casually switch to mode 2, while the ones with over-active Amygdalae  switch to mode 3 already (fight-flight-panic) -- which is not helpful at all. Additionally, being in too high a mode for too long is very exhausting. 
    Now, how would  a person with over-active amygdalae ever calm down and feel the happiness and relaxation that NTs get at home? In the worst case they must break the circle by cutting off outer sensory input (which is what the Amygdalae respond to). So they'd have to block at a minimum hearing, sight, and vestibular. In other words -- hold your ears, close your eyes,  and sit in a corner rocking. 
    Sounds familiar?
    For little children that means, they see their family at home and their amygdalae advise them every day "be alert, everything feel strange!!!" and never "Relax, it's family"......
    I wonder whether the opposite case also exist, under-active Amygdalae? Would that mean the person is constantly cool, and only slightly amused when bungee-jumping off a cliff?

    PS: Edit because dumb smartphone spellwrecked Amygdalae ...
Reply
  • I haven't read the book (feel free to report more as you read on), but amygdalae rings a bell (I'm a layperson just summing up what I read):

    The amygdalae's job is to monitor outer sensory input and answer the question, "is this familiar, strange, or dangerous?" before reason gets a chance to look at it. 
    Typically it's like this: A person is at home, with friends or family, or in one of their favorite places. The Amygdalae get bored and switch themselves off. This makes the person feel relaxed, save, happy and "at home, at peace" (a feeling that every person strives for). 
    If the person is in a strange situation (new town, new job, lost, surprised) the amygdalae switch themselves on "half-steam" and that makes the person feel first alert and later stressed. Alertness is very useful to navigate a new situation and learn how to adjust (the person notices all the small details of the new place and analyses them quickly). The downside is that this state costs a lot of energy and leaves the person exhausted, so it's only good in the short-term (i.e. humans avoid stress), but since they are alertly learning about the new situation it becomes familiar quickly.
    If the situation is judged as dangerous, then the amygdalae switch on "full-steam" and the person goes into fight-flight-freeze panic mode because reason would not be quick enough to make a decision. This is useful to escape real danger. 

    Now... What if your Amygdalae  happen to be "enlarged", what if they trigger too much, or too early?
    Such a person is constantly up in mode 2 while NTs are still in mode 1... When these persons are at home or with friends, their amydalae are already pumping up alertness to "help" them "analyse" this (eternally) "strange" situation......
    If now something truly strange or new happens, the NTs casually switch to mode 2, while the ones with over-active Amygdalae  switch to mode 3 already (fight-flight-panic) -- which is not helpful at all. Additionally, being in too high a mode for too long is very exhausting. 
    Now, how would  a person with over-active amygdalae ever calm down and feel the happiness and relaxation that NTs get at home? In the worst case they must break the circle by cutting off outer sensory input (which is what the Amygdalae respond to). So they'd have to block at a minimum hearing, sight, and vestibular. In other words -- hold your ears, close your eyes,  and sit in a corner rocking. 
    Sounds familiar?
    For little children that means, they see their family at home and their amygdalae advise them every day "be alert, everything feel strange!!!" and never "Relax, it's family"......
    I wonder whether the opposite case also exist, under-active Amygdalae? Would that mean the person is constantly cool, and only slightly amused when bungee-jumping off a cliff?

    PS: Edit because dumb smartphone spellwrecked Amygdalae ...
Children
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