Difficult to write this

Hi everyone. (Sorry to bring the mood down) Most of you know I posted another thread about a housing situation which I obviously doing really well with. Now I have a completely different situation and I need advice on how to cope. My mum died last night erm as you can obviously understand the family are in complete shock (as well as me) I've had some challenges before but this is the ultimate challenge. How do I deal with this? 

  • My condolences to you, '24316'. I wish I'd responded sooner but I've been away. My dad died 2 months ago. People here have given you good advice and said some lovely things and I can only add my own sincere best wishes.

  • I’m so sorry for your loss. My mother dropped dead (literally) 2 years ago (sudden death in epilepsy) aged 69 and I found it very difficult to know how to feel as it was the first (and so far only) time I’d experienced the death of a parent or parent in law.  On the day I had an ongoing conversation with some very close Facebook friends as to what was happening and they helped me through it.

    Over the coming days you will experience everything. Don’t worry about the “right” way to behave or feel - just to what is right for you. If it involves doing the practical things because you see the need, then that’s fine.  If it means sitting in your Mum’s favourite place with her favourite book, then that’s fine.  If you want to update the thread with what’s going on, that is fine.

    Take your time to process it and let us know how you are x

  • My condolences.

    I've found that I deal with death of relatives in a logical way. I was good at organising collecting death certificates, talking to the Undertakers, arranging (and even in one case, writing) the funeral, then in my mums case emptying her flat.

    I felt that I was being useful and helpful, and doing so was a good way of occupying myself, and at the same time of great use and comfort to those surrounding me.  This has been the case with both expected and unexpected deaths. 

    Emotions do surface, but I've found them emerging some time after the death.  That's not to say that I wasn't sad at the time, though.

  • Sincere condolences to you and your family.

    Good advice has already been posted by those with recent direct experience. I agree you will find letting the tears flow will help.

  • My sincere and heartfelt condolences. I hope that you are close enough to your family to get comfort from them. Be kind to yourself...everyone deals with it in different ways and give yourself the time needed to process it.

    with much kindness

    ellie x