Miswired Women of the Net!

Hehe thanks Ellie, this is the kind of suppprt I need to help me to keep clawing  my way up the mountain. And I love that, rattle your chains and roar! You’re the best :-D

Loving you work BlueRay....it needs super power strength to drag the self up the mountain....and we are all braced and mindful of its peak... keep going, and keep being you..rattle your chains and roar! 

Thank you ladies and YES, I love that Ellie, ‘let it sing’ :-D I was feeling pressured by the job centre and my autistic friend, said, let them have it, melt down at the job centre and start kicking and screaming and show them what’s really going on inside! Lol!  

Yeah, I’ve had several burnouts throughout my life Misfit. The first time I shut down and stopped functioning, I was 18 months old and they put me in an isolation room at the hospital for 3 weeks, drip fed me then let me out. The doctors visits and therapists etc continued throughout my life and trying to fit in, because I didn’t know better, finally got the better of me and now I couldn’t do it, even if I wanted to. It’s really good to be amongst people who understand, it’s so valuable. And although I’m pretty worn out just now and I’ve been so frustrated and upset with my challenges, I do love being me, an aspie girl, and now my back’s against the wall, I have come out fighting and I will honour and defend our right to be who we are in this f****d up neurotypical world. I don’t ‘blame’ anyone for not understanding what life is like for us but I can’t allow myself to be pushed into being anything other than me anymore ~ the next 50 + years are mine! Yes, I intend to live well into my 100’s and instead of the world forcing me to be like them, I’m going to force them to allow me to be me and hopefully, along the way, we learn from each other and make this world a better place for all of us. I think us autistics are doing that anyway, by our very existence on this planet. So so happy I finally found my tribe, and I finally understand what that even means! lol! 

So happy x 

xxx

Yes Blueray that sounds very similar to me. I’ve only been diagnosed a year ago at 55yrs and I got burnt out a few times along the way without ever really knowing why. It is good to be amongst people who understand 

Wow Hello Spotty.. me too so pleased to see you. I missed you very much too. Hope you enjoy the software once you’ve got the hang of it xxx

Carrying a mask is tiring stuff...and I can totally identify with the feeling more autistic than ever when you realise the traits....the more you identify, the more it can resonate.....let it sing!  

Hi everybody. I’m feeling a bit flat and worn out today but after reading all these posts, they’re so supportive and it’s so good to find others like me, that I wanted to say hello before I went to bed. I was diagnosed at the end of last month, aged 50. I have definitely become more autistic since realising I was autistic, last May. Or rather, as some of you have said, I am dropping more and more of the mask and becoming more and more of who I am. Part of this is by choice and partly, I have no choice. I am completely worn out by it all, I’m done with the mask, whether I want to be or not, but I do want to be! Getting the diagnosis was important to me, but I wasn’t expecting such a roller coaster of emotions etc  since I got the diagnosis. I’m super passionate though, about speaking up for us all. I have no choice in telling people I’m autistic, it just comes out, but I seriously want to get involved some how, in spreading awareness and making things easier for the younger ones, as well as ourselves. For now, I’m just so grateful I’ve found others like me and I’m getting all the help I can to sort my life out after a serious burn out and learning that it will happen, but I have to take my time. Thanks for all your comments, they really help. 

I’m better now you’re here! Lol....thought you might be hibernating in the Blue Peter garden x

Thank you Ellie, that's kind of you. I've missed here but I'm not very good at doing anything in moderation. I think I kind of feel guilty if I don't read everything so I ran away and read nothing. It's stupid and I need to learn to be selective without the guilt. Hope you are doing ok. xxxx

Sppppppooooooooottttttyyyyy! So missed you! Welcome back xxxxxx

Hello Katfish and Ellie and Missy and everyone else. I missed a bit and then there seemed to be heaps of new names and numbers and I got lost and overwhelmed. Been busy trying to learn image manipulation software and now I've plonked myself in Apple land so I have some steep learning curves ahead. Glad to see familiar and new faces. xxx

Hi Fuchsia

Good to see you here as well.  though early forties I haven't yet hit the role of being carer to parents (it helps that I am the black sheep of the family).....due to ASPIE misunderstood self....but I do act as carer to my son and my more than capable (just lazy - lol) husband...and hold a full time middle management job.

Certainly not as stressful as your present situation but I can identify with the "award winning performance"....lets just hope that they don't expect an encore and an added matinee show! - it is exhausting!

Hello all, glad to find this new thread. I haven't been on here for a few days as I'm busy just now doing that middle-aged lady thing of looking after elderly parents in a crisis. Bit freaked out having to deal with carers, nurses, doctors, medics, social workers etc. but heigh ho...doing my best to give an award-winning performance of nice, capable, patient daughter!!! Glad I have my hubby to support me. And pleased to find you all here.

Hello Katfish. Welcome on board. Glad you’ve been looking round and decided to write. Getting a diagnosis is a very personal decision. And you will find that reflected in the posts. 

And you katfish....there are some lovely people here x

Hi everyone

I've been dipping into these forums for a few months now and haven't posted very much.  But I spotted this thread and thought what a good idea.

I realised my 'aspie-ness' a few years ago when someone was commenting to me about why they thought someone else may be 'on the spectrum'.  They gave a list of things as to why they thought that and my response was "doesn't everyone do that then?".  After talking with them a bit more (they are a health professional) they gave me a few pointers to look into it further.  The recommended aspie tests I found on the internet all very clearly pointed towards me being aspie.  Similarly the more I found out about it the more I identified in myself.  I decided not to seek a formal diagnosis as I figured I'd got to that point in life.  I could look back across my life and so many things slotted into place it was a massive light bulb moment.

However, I started thinking about it again a few months ago.  I realised I hadn't really changed anything and was still hiding behind my 'mask of acceptability'.  So I looked into it all again and pondered seeking a formal diagnosis.  After looking at other people's experiences of getting an aspie diagnosis (seems to be 18 months to 2 years is the norm) I again decided not to go down that route.  I don't really want to spend lots of time in the company of the medical profession if I can help it (they are lovely people generally but I'd rather be walking my dog on a mild autumn morning than sitting in a consultant's waiting room).

So I'm not really sure how to identify myself to the rest of the family and friends.  My husband is aware and when I first raised it with him he immediately agreed that I am an aspie (he has no problem telling me if he doesn't agree with my wild theories usually).  But I've told no one else.  Having just suggested on another thread that the best way to try to cope with family occasions is to talk to them about being aspie, what it means for you, etc, I must admit I felt like a hypocrite.  I told my husband that I wasn't comfortable telling family as some of them will decide I'm talking rubbish without an official diagnosis (I've no doubt that is largely due to my enormous skill with my mask).  He reckons I could tell them anyway and if they argue too much tell them I have had an official diagnosis, his theory being that they couldn't prove otherwise.  I'm not entirely comfortable with that for various reasons.

Also I spotted a discussion about menopause on an earlier version of this thread.  I went through surgical menopause 3 years ago so was interested in people's comments.  I definitely feel like I have changed but I don't know whether this is aspie-related or not.  The surgery was for ovarian cancer which was life changing in itself, so it's difficult to know how aspie-ness has defined my view on life over the last 3 years.  I have found that my approach to cancer diagnosis has differed from others in a similar position.  I think this has also made me think again about what being aspie means.

I feel like I want to shout out to people I'm aspie and I'm proud and this is what it means for me.  I don't lack empathy, I just perceive life differently to you, so I have to learn what's important to you just like you have to learn what's important to me.  I'm the type of person who I think is likely to stand up and explain why something is different for me to try to help people to understand.  But I can't really get myself past the official diagnosis hurdle.  I feel like what I say could be undermined if someone turns around and says but a doctor hasn't agreed that I'm aspie so how do I really know that what I"m saying is relevant.

I agree with some of the other comments about finding a way around the forum.  I do find it a little confusing, though I can't really explain why!

Anyway, looking forward to chatting with you all.

Ditto....thank you everyone.....being awesome needs fully charged batteries! 

Thank you Ellie and those joining in.. once again your thread has made me smile and feel part of something special. Time for x