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How do you guys explain yourself to other people?

Einfallspinsel

I just recently realized that what I think of as buffer overflow is officially called sensory overload. I mean noisy busy babbly situations that "drain my batteries", so I leave. If I stay, my perceptions sort of... stop adding up to a meaningful whole, and eventually I "forget" what talking and moving is. (Luckily it only rarely gets to that point because I stay away from these situations.)

But for example last week I made the mistake of trying to go to a concert (being over 30 I thought I could handle it by now!), and I just barely escaped. ;-) I paid, unsuccessfully tried to be invisible for half an hour, and fled before the band arrived. I didn't sleep that night and my knees were still trembling the day after (no drugs!). I couldn't explain to my friend why I walked out on her ("because everything was wrong"?).

And now I heard my company is planning another "team building" day. I don't want to go, or at least I want to be left alone, but how do I explain that to them? (I'm glad as heck I have this job, I don't want to jeopardize it.) What if I go braindead there too, or stop talking or look away? It just makes my colleagues try harder to "cheer me up" (Like last year, where I eventually left the campfire and stayed away from the madness in a sleeping bag at just above freezing)

Do you have some advice how I can get the message across, do you ever have this problem? 

It's not against my colleagues and (potential) friends that I prefer to be alone. From my point of view, it's rather a compliment that I invest the bit of energy I have in them sometimes. Guess that's not much of a compliment. 


I have no excuse not to go, other than that I hate pretending to be fine while I'm not. I am not even officially diagnosed with anything -- I just see quite some overlap with your list of ASD symptoms, and was hoping for some advice from people who might at least understand what I'm talking about.
Parents

  • @jon In my case my parents acted as if they must "protect" stupid me; as if I would never be liked or accepted by anyone if "it" came out; as if I am only tolerated among "real" people as long as I fake it well enough. -- Note that nobody ever said any of that explicitly, it's how I interpreted it. One day someone will ask for proof that I am a real person and I won't have any -- basically.

    I wish people would see the positive sides more unconditionally, it's always "X is good, as long as you don't..." Screw this. It's good, period. (Agreeing with @"Temple Grandin" here.)

    @jon Good that you had a partner who helped you. I only have that (forgetting how to talk or move) rarely, usually I "escape" just in time. I can work it out, but it's one more thing that is difficult or impossible to explain to others. There should be a handbook for people that lists all the human glitches that are possible, so one could say "gimme a minute, I'm having a #2345". :-P

    @goatworshiper I can express myself well if it is about facts (how is it when you speak about technical things?), but the rest... ;-)

Reply

  • @jon In my case my parents acted as if they must "protect" stupid me; as if I would never be liked or accepted by anyone if "it" came out; as if I am only tolerated among "real" people as long as I fake it well enough. -- Note that nobody ever said any of that explicitly, it's how I interpreted it. One day someone will ask for proof that I am a real person and I won't have any -- basically.

    I wish people would see the positive sides more unconditionally, it's always "X is good, as long as you don't..." Screw this. It's good, period. (Agreeing with @"Temple Grandin" here.)

    @jon Good that you had a partner who helped you. I only have that (forgetting how to talk or move) rarely, usually I "escape" just in time. I can work it out, but it's one more thing that is difficult or impossible to explain to others. There should be a handbook for people that lists all the human glitches that are possible, so one could say "gimme a minute, I'm having a #2345". :-P

    @goatworshiper I can express myself well if it is about facts (how is it when you speak about technical things?), but the rest... ;-)

Children
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