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How do you guys explain yourself to other people?

Einfallspinsel

I just recently realized that what I think of as buffer overflow is officially called sensory overload. I mean noisy busy babbly situations that "drain my batteries", so I leave. If I stay, my perceptions sort of... stop adding up to a meaningful whole, and eventually I "forget" what talking and moving is. (Luckily it only rarely gets to that point because I stay away from these situations.)

But for example last week I made the mistake of trying to go to a concert (being over 30 I thought I could handle it by now!), and I just barely escaped. ;-) I paid, unsuccessfully tried to be invisible for half an hour, and fled before the band arrived. I didn't sleep that night and my knees were still trembling the day after (no drugs!). I couldn't explain to my friend why I walked out on her ("because everything was wrong"?).

And now I heard my company is planning another "team building" day. I don't want to go, or at least I want to be left alone, but how do I explain that to them? (I'm glad as heck I have this job, I don't want to jeopardize it.) What if I go braindead there too, or stop talking or look away? It just makes my colleagues try harder to "cheer me up" (Like last year, where I eventually left the campfire and stayed away from the madness in a sleeping bag at just above freezing)

Do you have some advice how I can get the message across, do you ever have this problem? 

It's not against my colleagues and (potential) friends that I prefer to be alone. From my point of view, it's rather a compliment that I invest the bit of energy I have in them sometimes. Guess that's not much of a compliment. 


I have no excuse not to go, other than that I hate pretending to be fine while I'm not. I am not even officially diagnosed with anything -- I just see quite some overlap with your list of ASD symptoms, and was hoping for some advice from people who might at least understand what I'm talking about.
Parents

  • My understanding is that some sensory overload problems apply to other disabilities including dyslexia and dyspraxia.

    I cannot converse when there is background. It can get so bad that I seem to develop a "translator malfunction" - people seem to be speaking a foreign language. It also affects my speech as I start repeating myself and not making sense. But I have been told this can happen with dyslexia, though I don't have dyslexia. 

    I can sustain it for a short while, by reading between the lines and trying to guess what is being said. But I then tire more quickly. If a meeting or discussion gets noisy my ability to follow it and make any contribution deteriorates

    What I have found works though is if I can stay near the margins of a room, so the sound is all coming from one direction. For that reason in lectures, cinemas or concerts I try to sit near the wall on one side.

    The other thing is that, since diagnosis I have done a lot of experimentation, to see if I can improve, and also get a better idea of where there could be difficulties. I find a seat or somewhere to stand, and just listen to divide up the sources and work out how much is going on and what causes discomfort.

    Surely you could argue that, while you don't have a diagnosis of the cause, you do experience certain difficulties. Maybe some concessions could be made for you on that basis.

Reply

  • My understanding is that some sensory overload problems apply to other disabilities including dyslexia and dyspraxia.

    I cannot converse when there is background. It can get so bad that I seem to develop a "translator malfunction" - people seem to be speaking a foreign language. It also affects my speech as I start repeating myself and not making sense. But I have been told this can happen with dyslexia, though I don't have dyslexia. 

    I can sustain it for a short while, by reading between the lines and trying to guess what is being said. But I then tire more quickly. If a meeting or discussion gets noisy my ability to follow it and make any contribution deteriorates

    What I have found works though is if I can stay near the margins of a room, so the sound is all coming from one direction. For that reason in lectures, cinemas or concerts I try to sit near the wall on one side.

    The other thing is that, since diagnosis I have done a lot of experimentation, to see if I can improve, and also get a better idea of where there could be difficulties. I find a seat or somewhere to stand, and just listen to divide up the sources and work out how much is going on and what causes discomfort.

    Surely you could argue that, while you don't have a diagnosis of the cause, you do experience certain difficulties. Maybe some concessions could be made for you on that basis.

Children
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