How do you guys explain yourself to other people?

I just recently realized that what I think of as buffer overflow is officially called sensory overload. I mean noisy busy babbly situations that "drain my batteries", so I leave. If I stay, my perceptions sort of... stop adding up to a meaningful whole, and eventually I "forget" what talking and moving is. (Luckily it only rarely gets to that point because I stay away from these situations.)

But for example last week I made the mistake of trying to go to a concert (being over 30 I thought I could handle it by now!), and I just barely escaped. ;-) I paid, unsuccessfully tried to be invisible for half an hour, and fled before the band arrived. I didn't sleep that night and my knees were still trembling the day after (no drugs!). I couldn't explain to my friend why I walked out on her ("because everything was wrong"?).

And now I heard my company is planning another "team building" day. I don't want to go, or at least I want to be left alone, but how do I explain that to them? (I'm glad as heck I have this job, I don't want to jeopardize it.) What if I go braindead there too, or stop talking or look away? It just makes my colleagues try harder to "cheer me up" (Like last year, where I eventually left the campfire and stayed away from the madness in a sleeping bag at just above freezing)

Do you have some advice how I can get the message across, do you ever have this problem? 

It's not against my colleagues and (potential) friends that I prefer to be alone. From my point of view, it's rather a compliment that I invest the bit of energy I have in them sometimes. Guess that's not much of a compliment. 


I have no excuse not to go, other than that I hate pretending to be fine while I'm not. I am not even officially diagnosed with anything -- I just see quite some overlap with your list of ASD symptoms, and was hoping for some advice from people who might at least understand what I'm talking about.
Parents
  • I've stopped explaining to other people now because I don't feel accountable to them.  Most social events I don't go to because I know I won't cope when I get there and no-one bothers, not that I get many invites anyway.

    At work it can be hard but I've learned to internalise everything at work so I can do my job and then I deal with the 'overload' when I get home.  It's the only way I can do it to protect myself really.

     

    Some people understand ASD and some don't.  I'm ok with my diagnosis.  I struggle with others and how they treat me so I stay away from people as much as I can.  It is lonely and I long for a social group I can feel comfortable in but I know now it probably won't happen.

    But I think it is important for you to get a formal diagnosis if you don't have one already, then you have medical grounds to protect you from stuff that's unhelpful.

Reply
  • I've stopped explaining to other people now because I don't feel accountable to them.  Most social events I don't go to because I know I won't cope when I get there and no-one bothers, not that I get many invites anyway.

    At work it can be hard but I've learned to internalise everything at work so I can do my job and then I deal with the 'overload' when I get home.  It's the only way I can do it to protect myself really.

     

    Some people understand ASD and some don't.  I'm ok with my diagnosis.  I struggle with others and how they treat me so I stay away from people as much as I can.  It is lonely and I long for a social group I can feel comfortable in but I know now it probably won't happen.

    But I think it is important for you to get a formal diagnosis if you don't have one already, then you have medical grounds to protect you from stuff that's unhelpful.

Children
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