Published on 12, July, 2020
My son is 7 and in year 3 in a mainstream school he has been assessed and has ASD, he has lots of sensory issues and major behaviour problems. He has 1to1 and has been excluded from school on a couple of occasions for seriously attacking children. I have no family that understand or want to help and have over the years isolated myself for all my friends, so have no support network. I don’t know where to turn. At school he is keeping up with his pears but is not in the classroom much. He runs around the school shouting and will attach other students. As you can imagine other parents bully me as his parent as he never gets invited to party’s etc. He knows it’s wrong but can’t help himself. Sometimes he says voices in his head makes him do it or he wants to see there reactions. At home he is very loving towards me and his younger sister and although he has his meltdowns on Occasion he never is violent towards us. I don’t know how I can help him control his behaviour at school. Is medication an option if they do produce anything that might help? I am worried he is getting bigger 5 1/2 stone and he could cause someone serious harm. I also worry for his future, will he grow up to stand on his own 2 feet? Thank you for reading this thread.
Firstly don’t worry - it’s going to be just fine. Your sons distributive behaviour could be down to being over stimulated at school or it could be something else. Not that I want to put ideas in your head but have you considered ADHD both diagnosis can over lap. Unfortunately there’s no medication for ASD and the best way to control behaviour is to control environment. The school needs to make adjustments to help your son. If they can’t you will need to consider a specialist school for children with ASD where staff are better trained, the environment is usually adapted already (smaller classroom sizes, it’s less busy etc. Etc.). I would suggest reading on EHCP - Education and Health Plan’s and on how environment can change behaviour in ASD children.
Hi Needhelp,
I am so sorry to hear that you are struggling to cope with you son's behaviour. If you would like to talk to someone you may like to contact our Parent to Parent service - the contact details are here: http://www.autism.org.uk/services/helplines/parent-to-parent.aspx
Alternatively you could contact our Autism Helpline and speak to one of our advisors. You can contact the team via telephone on 0808 800 4104 (Monday to Thursday 10am to 4pm, Friday, 9am to 3pm).
Kind regards,
Kerri-Mod
How are school supporting him- you say he has a 1:1 - is that all the time (including lunch) or part time? Is it a through primary or a Juniors (and therefore new to him)? How was he last year?
The school has a duty of care to all its pupils and staff, and, if your child is attacking others, they are reasonable to exclude him. Sadly, exclusions are a way that the school can prove that his needs are so great that they cannot educate him. If he is ‘off curriculum’, then he is not being educated.
Do you know what is triggering the school issues? If class size is an issue, would a smaller school help? Does he have a safe place to run to at school? What is so different at home - as often it is the other way around- good at school, nightmare at home?
Lots of questions, I know, but your best bet is to talk to the school. Are you on half term next week? If so, use it as a break. There will be options, but you do need to discuss with the school what the best way forward is.